Jersey Shore

by (@katespencer)

Jersey Shore Kids Skip GTL For Tattoos

Ronnie-Jersey Shore-Tattoo

The second season of Jersey Shore is already off to a bizarre start. The above picture of everyone’s favorite toe-dissing thick-neck, Ronnie, looks to us like a screenshot of a male porno. Much to our sadness relief, it’s actually just a strange snapshot of Ronnie getting another atrocious tattoo.

Apparently his new ink was more painful to get than that 6 foot cross on his back, because Ronnie bit down on a mouth gag and was consoled by his fellow guidos and guidettes during the session. Sami Sweet Hair Extensions was also there to tenderly support him through out his skin art adventure. Could this mean they’re back on for more boning? Oh to spend another season listening to Sami scream “RAAAAHHHHH-nnie” after downing nine amaretto sours. We should be so lucky!

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[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Style Wars: Snooki’s Best Poker Face

TIME magazine recently declared Lady Gaga and Snooki to be amongst the most influential people in the world; so what happens when two of their trademarks tango? Things get dangerous. Today Snooks strolled blindly through Miami while simultaneously rocking her “poof” and some “Poker Face”-inspired bedazzled sunglasses. People have been knocking off Lady Gaga’s outrageous fashion left and right, but so few can actually pull it off without looking like they’re donning an acid-induced craft project. What do you think of Snooki’s shades? 

Here’s some more shots of the Jersey Shore kids stepping out for the ice cream in Miami Beach.

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by (@katespencer)

Jersey Shore Kids Already Trying Too Hard

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Well, here we are again. The Jersey Shore cast arrived in Miami yesterday, and already they appear to be trying wayyyyyyy to hard to recreate the magic of last summer. The cross necklaces are shinier, the heels higher, the animal print luggage animal-y-er… are we the only people who think Season 2 is gonna jump the shark the second The Situation speaks?

Look, within two seconds of landing in South Beach, Ronnie had his shirt off to remind us that his chest is still almost as big as his neck. Snookie – who needs no props to highlight her general insanity – showed up wearing a giant sombrero (this season’s duck phone, perhaps?). And worst of all that terrible dumdum Angelina is back, determined to capitalize on the good thing she gave up last summer. Stop trying to force the Jersey, guys, and just let it flow naturally through your radioactive skin.

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[Photo: GettyImages/Splash News Online]

by (@katespencer)

The Situation Makes Out With Meatballs

The Situation

If you ever wanted to experience The Situation‘s (aka Mike Sorrentino) O face, well, today is your lucky day. Here is every woman’s nightmare, dripping in sweat and hair gel at the opening of Martorano’s Italian-American Kitchen at the Hard Rock Casino in California. The Jersey Shore star (how we loathe to call him that) was surely paid a pretty penny to pose with various slop style Italian dishes, and at one point mugged for the camera holding an eclair while showing off his abs. How do you say “sigh” in Italian?

More photos of a gross guy posing with gross food below.

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[Photo: Splash News Online]

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“Jerseylicious” Wants To Oust “Jersey Shore” As The Most Jersey Show About Jersey

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Proving once again that Hollywood is out of ideas, the Style Network is gearing up for the premiere of its latest series,  subtly named Jerseylicious. This show, they’ll have you know, is way more “REAL” Jersey than Jersey Shore ever was. After reading an interview with one of the show’s stars, we’re not so sure.

The new show is centered on a the drama at a New Jersey hair salon – and why wouldn’t it be? After all, the most famous thing about Jersey Shore is Snooki‘s pouf hairdo. However, Olivia Blois Sharpe, an orange-skinned, black-haired ringer for Snooki and a hair stylist on the show, says “Real Jersey girls are a lot more fashion-forward. Those girls were in their sweatpants all the time, their hair wasn’t done, their makeup wasn’t done. We’re a lot more flashy.” Wait, Snooki’s hair wasn’t done? That style occurred in nature? So confused.

Sharpe also told the New York Daily News a couple other choice details about herself, saying “If I could make a living off of fist-pumping to house music, I’d be in there,” and “I get depressed if I don’t tan. If I’m in a bad mood, laying in a tanning bed makes me feel better.” For real, this woman’s case against Jersey Shore weakens with every (awesome, cheesy) sound bite. The ripoff show airs on Sunday night – will it be as successful as the kids at the shore, or have people had enough? [Photo: Getty Images]

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“Jersey Shore” Stars Work Hard, Party Harder In Chicago

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“Jersey Shore” stars Mike and Pauly D hit up Lumen in Chicago on February 19, 2010. FABlife correspondent Cindy Barrymore was on hand to snap pics of the guys (We have her to thank for close-up photos of Pauly’s jewel-encrusted headphones. Amazing!) and fill us in on all the action. Read her first-hand account below.

Last Friday, Mike (“The Situation”) and DJ Pauly D worked a not-so-hard day’s night, earning what the NY Daily News reports to be as much as $7,500 each for an hour-long appearance at the intimate Chicago hot spot Lumen. Nevertheless, the fervor encircling them mirrored that of the Fab Four, with fans freaking out for the world’s most beloved guidos.

After the duo canceled their scheduled appearance last month to attend an MTV press event with the other cast members, they finally arrived at Lumen around midnight on February 19, to a tightly packed mass of screaming fans. The adulation was so intense, they were forced to rush past the fans, heading straight to the exclusive VIP area.

Reemerging, Mike jumped on stage to shake hands, douse the crowd with champagne and flash his abs to uproarious applause. Pauly  – sporting his signature tan and an equally gold Rolex – worked the turntables at the deejay booth, where snapping photos of him proved effortless for those camera-toting fans smart enough to arrive early to stake out their spots.

After helping Pauly hand out “Shore Whores” t-shirts, we spied Mike at back of the club sipping Svedka vodka as he flirted with some of the girls hand-picked to join him for whatever situation he had planned. All in a hard day’s work!

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Cindy Barrymore

by (@katespencer)

Snooki, J-Woww Not Actually Guidettes

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“Jersey Shore’s” Snooki and J-Woww are not Italians, they just play them on TV. J-Woww’s real name is Jenni Farley, so it was not that hard to figure out that, chances are, she errs more on the Irish side of things (she told Fox this week that she’s Spanish and Irish). But we were surprised to discover that her pint-sized partner in gorilla hunting, Nicole “Snickuhs” Polizzi, is actually Chilean. Go figure.

Perhaps this is why Snooki’s reaction to Italian-Americans who found the show portrayal of their peeps insulting was, “If you don’t want to watch, don’t watch. Just shut the hell up! I’m serious… F*ck you!” Perhaps she didn’t get how it was offensive because she’s not Italian. Regardless, we were totally fooled by Snooki’s Italian last name and the fact that she looks like a much younger version of our Italian grandmother. Just goes to show you can’t judge a person by their name – or their spray tan. [Photo: GettyImages]

by (@katespencer)

Can Miami Handle The Situation?

Jersey Shore Miami

As the ol’ saying goes: you can take a guido out of Jersey, but you can’t the Jersey out of the guido. So we imagine that the “Jersey Shore” kids will have no problem living up to their reputation as, uh, rabble rousers, wherever their show lands next season. Rumor has it the G.T.L. crew will be setting up their Ed Hardy castle in Miami Beach, wreaking havoc on an entirely different kind breed of ocean-side cheeseballs.

Here’s what Movieline is exclusively reporting: Snooki, The Situation, J-Woww‘s boob sling and the rest of the posse will be headed to South Beach in May, where they’ll live in a house off of Lincoln Road that is currently being renovated, MTV style, for the occasion. Will the duck phone be upgrade to a pelican phone?! We can only hope. We’re sure the cast will feel at home in the trance-loving party town, but they should also be prepared: South Beach is filled with a lot of hotties who spend their days at the gym, tanning and doing laundry. Expect some competition, kiddies! [Photo: GettyImages]

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by (@katespencer)

No Longer Snookin’ For Love

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“Jersey Shore” dancing machine Snooki has found her juice-head. The lucky guy is named Emilio Antonio (Italian. Check.), moonlights as a bodybuilder (Gorilla. Check.), and works at the gym (G.T.L. Triple Check!). Says Snooki:

“He is just like my typical guido juicehead with like a good personality. I am really excited to like show the public who he is. He is freaking banging. We’re the sexiest couple I have ever seen in my entire life so I am excited for everybody to see that.”

We’re thrilled for the lil’ lady that she’s locked up a Valentine’s Day date, but we’re sure she’s leaving a trailer of heartbroken suitors in her wee wake. Let’s all let out a collective “Wahhhhhhhhhh” for all the guys that could have found love with Princess Poof. Maybe Angelina is available?

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by (@katespencer)

Leave Our Snooki Alone!

snooki-makeover

Do you hear us, “Inside Edition?” Stop messing with something that’s already perfect. The tabloid TV show gave our national treasure of the moment, Snooki, a makeover, and the result is “ehhhhhhhh” at best. She looks like an extra playing the role of “sexy secretary” in a soft-core porn. We like our Snooki like we like our pickles – with flavor and bite. Also crunchy (as in hair-gel).

Below we’ve gathered some of our favorite Snook looks, that feature the “Jersey Shore” star flaunting her, uh, natural style, poof and all.  [Photo: NYPost]

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