Despite the fact that season three almost ended with Ronnie and Sammi burning the beach house down with their minds, rumors of Jersey Shore firings have been greatly exaggerated. Earlier today Jersey Shore recasting rumors were swirling, suggeting that the original Orange Eight will have to get 9-to-5s following their fifth season. However as an MTV spokesperson informed The Hollywood Reporter, “We love the present cast, and their summer adventures have just begun. We currently have no plans to recast the show.” When you get your hands on a gem like Deena you do not let her go, do you hear us? You do not let her go.
It makes sense that producers have no plans to train a new crew on how to secretly nap at the t-shirt shop, seeing as how the network has spin-offs in the works for Snooki and J-Woww, The Situation and Pauly D. The cast just recently returned from shooting a season of Jersey Shore Italy adventures, and were immediately sequestered before the start of their season five shoot in Seaside, New Jersey. If they have to keep Snooki in a giant gerbil cage to keep the show going, you know they will, especially since that is an excellent idea for yet another spin-off.
Well, it looks like Snooki is out of custody following her collision with a police car in Florence yesterday, though she does look a little worse for wear. The Jersey Shore star was wearing a neck brace while walking around town with Deena earlier today, though it should be noted there are also photos of her without the brace as well in the gallery below. Was she suffering or just showing off? We’re sure to find out once this oh-so-promising third season finally makes it to air.
Vinnie & Pauly D sit for a caricature artist on the streets of Florence, Italy. Rumors of a brutal fight between The Situation & Ronnie popped up from the Jersey Shore set yesterday, though MTV has only confirmed that the Sitch needed medical attention after an “accidental injury in the house.”
We’re assuming Michael Lohan is in a basement somewhere, scheming at how to prove himself against this new challenger for Worst Celebrity Dad Alive. Lohan’s resources are few, but his will is mighty. After weathering some of his father’s bizarre public rants, The Situation sued his dad Frank Sorrentino over his pop’s insulting website, according to a law suit filed in Miami yesterday. That’s right; the Situation’s father, calling himself The Confrontation, set up a website solely to humiliate his son. You know, like a normal dad would do. Man, remember when being generally awful was enough to let people know you were a terrible parent? Now the horrible parents of the world have to have a web presence, a nick name, the whole nine yards. It’s becoming a full-time job just trying to stay relevant in the obnoxious celebrity father game.
Luckily, it seems that the Situation’s dad has wisely pulled his wackadoo The Confrontation Site, so the reality star can get back to his Jersey Shore Italy trip, where he is free to embarrass himself of his own volition. Meanwhile, Joe Jackson shines his #1 Worst Dad trophies and lies in wait for a worthy competitor.
With spin-offs for Pauly D, Snooki and J-Woww already in the mix over at MTV, we were starting to wonder if the ol’ Situation—once Jersey Shore‘s shining star—had been left out in the cold. Was it his pathetic performance at the Donald Trump roast? The fact that his priceless reaction shots would be worthless without something to react to? Well, worry no more, because the ab-wielder formerly known as Mike Sorrentino scored himself a development deal after all.
There’s no word on what his show will consist of, and no promise it will ever actually reach the air (though considering how successful Shore is, it’d be surprising if all three announced spin-offs weren’t given a shot). Maybe we could send him to different wartorn countries in the world, allowing him to deliver his classic double-takes as he reports on “The Situation” in each…and then gets wasted at the local watering hole. Call it The Situation On The Situation, or maybe The Dumbassador.
Finally, a baby who eschews kicking for fist pumps in the womb. Yes, Jersey Shore‘s Angelina Pivarnick is pregnant. Time to change her nickname from the Staten Island Dump Truck to the Staten Island Pump Truck! (Get it? Breast pump? Nevermind.) The father is her fiance Dave Kovacs, who proposed to the drama queen in true attention grabbing fashion — on a red carpet last month (vom-inducing pics below). Congratulations are obviously in order – now where can we send this gift basket full of Ed Hardy onesies?
Unfortunate news for people who were looking forward to The Situation and Snooki drunkenly jumping off the Ponte Vecchio and trying to sneak into the Duomo during the upcoming Italy season of Jersey Shore. The mayor of Florence, Italy, has banned the Jersey Shore cast from drinking in public, and has actually created quite a restrictive list of dos and don’ts for the cast while they’re in his fair city.
Mayor Matteo Renzi laid down the law with the cast, saying “I will not allow them to use the Palazzo Vecchio or other historic buildings, but I cannot ban them from using our city as a set.” Renzi’s apprehension about allowing the cast to have the run of his city may have to do with the fact that Italy only recently started to air the show and some Italians aren’t thrilled by it. In addition to the rule above, they will have to abide by the following guidelines:
No shooting in bars, clubs or any place that promotes the reckless consumption of alcohol.
The cast is prohibited from drinking in public on camera.
Florence may not be portrayed as a drinking town.
The cast must interact with authentic Italian people in authentic cultural settings—thus avoiding the city’s hordes of tourists and students.
So basically, stay at home if you plan to drink, but if you want a guided tour of the Uffizi and the best place to get some gnocchi, come on out and play. Maybe the cast can team up with Anthony Bourdain and do a season-long No Reservations-style show where they just eat constantly, we’d watch that. Filming begins on May 9.
Take a moment to make a soft nest out of your student loan late notices, because you are going to hit the floor like a ton of financial insolvent bricks when you read about the newJersey Shore cast salaries. For their fourth round of GTL, the gang will be pulling in “at least” $100,000 per episode each, even newbie Deena Nicole Cortese. EVEN DEENA. Take 100 grand, multiple it by the 13 episodes or so in a season, and you come up with a cool milli. Oh, sorry, we should have waited until everyone was done with their taxes before posting this. You aren’t going to be able to finish filing with TurboTax with your fist jammed through the middle of the computer screen like that.
Snooki, J-Woww, The Situation and Pauly D allegedly held out until MTV agreed to pay the big bucks, undoubtedly because they are the only cast members who the audience actually cares about. As a result, the amount everyone will earn per episode in Season 4 is ten times what they earned the first season. Of course, their salary doesn’t include the other hundreds of thousands they make per year through book deals, Jersey Shore spin-offs and Wrestlemania gigs. Before you rip your Masters in Social Work certificate in half, just remember: at the end of the day, they still have to be the cast of Jersey Shore. The fact that you don’t is worth more than your weight in gold (which is ironically exactly how much Snooki will be making).
Anyone else think some sweet backflip into body slam action really would have jazzed up this past season of Jersey Shore? Snooki’s Wrestlemania match has us day-dreaming about all the possibilities. Ronnie and Sammi break into their seventeenth fight of the day? Snooki suddenly does handsprings into the room and breaks them apart. The Snitchuation starts gossiping again? Suddenly he’s getting his larynx crushed by a tiny, orange elbow. It’s the future of reality TV.
Capturing greased-up Amazons in a head lock isn’t the only way the tiny brazed goddess is making headlines this week. It recently came to light that both Snooki and Toni Morrison were hired to speak at Rutgers university…with Snooki earning $2,000 than the Nobel laureate. “I don’t know her, and I don’t care.” Morrison claims, though we aren’t giving up on a Morrison/Snooks rivalry for season four of Jersey Shore. Seriously, anything to distract us from Ronnie and Sammi!
The FABLife is playing March Celebrity Madness this month, putting 64 of our favorite stars into brackets and having you vote to decide our ultimate FAB icon. First we’ll be pitting four similar celebs against each other in the divisionals, with the winners pairing (and squaring) off in our Sweet 16 until only one is left standing. It’s just like the NCAA, except…ok, it’s nothing like the NCAA.
It’s Monday morning, so who better to wake up with than the cast of Jersey Shore. The Situation may have bombed at Donald Trump’s Roast, but he still makes our shortlist of the show’s stars, along with J-Woww, Snooki and Pauly D. Which one is your favorite reality TV party-starter? If you’re upset that Ronnie, Vinny, Sammi or anyone didn’t make the poll, let us know in the comments. Just don’t break anything!