Jimmy Kimmel Live

by (@shalapitcher)

Jennifer Lawrence’s Tequila-Fueled Boob Talk: Another 7 Reasons To Love Her

Radar Online this morning has a story about how Jennifer Lawrence’s friends are concerned that the Silver Linings Playbook star is putting her work ahead of her health. Which, yeah, that’s kind of legit, considering the fact that she’s admitted to having walking pneumonia at both the Golden Globes and the SAG Awards. But if she weren’t sick, her stories (and acceptance speeches) would be so much less entertaining, wouldn’t they? Case in point: Her best tales on last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live were health-related. There were other gems too, as there have been basically every time she sits on a late-night couch. Here are seven more reasons we love JLaw, based on her latest sit-down:

  • She had a couple of shots of tequila (the producer’s idea) and a beer (her idea) before getting onstage.
  • Her main concern upon seeing a recent chest x-ray was not her pneumonia but the appearance that her breasts are different sizes. “It felt like an elephant in the room,” she said of bringing it up with her doctor. “I hope no one ever sees my breasts in an x-ray.” (Better cut that radiology scene you were planning, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay screenwriters!)
  • She had a 103-degree fever at the Golden Globes and still managed to give that great speech with the First Wives Club joke and a jab at her brothers.
  • She made this face to her dad upon seeing Adele at the next table over. The same face we would make!

Jennifer Lawrence on Jimmy Kimmel Live
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by (@shalapitcher)

Matt Damon Hosts Jimmy Kimmel Sucks: Our 5 Favorite Zingers

After being “bumped” from Jimmy Kimmel Live “1,205″ times for the past 10 years, Matt Damon exacted his revenge on the late-night host by kidnapping him, tying him to a chair and hosting one of our favorite stunt episodes of a talk show ever. Andy Garcia (sporting a hilarious fake accent), Nicole Kidman, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck, Amy Adams, Gary Oldman, Reese Witherspoon, Sarah Silverman, “band leader” Sheryl Crow and a very weird-looking Demi Moore all made appearances — thus proving that Matt could get anyone and everyone to visit (not that Kimmel’s ever really had trouble with that). And of course, it turned into a great big roast of the host, who recently got his show moved up an hour to the highly competitive 11:35 p.m. slot. Here are our 5 favorite insults (of many!):

“Kimmel is the Death Star, big and round and easily destroyed through his garbage hole.” Matt Damon, who likewise compared himself to Luke Skywalker

“He’s just, he’s not classy.” — Nicole Kidman on why she’s never been on the show before
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by (@shalapitcher)

Edward And Bella’s Other Daughter: Will The Volturi Accept Honey Boo Boo Cullen?

We don’t really have much to say about this, except that Jimmy Kimmel is kind of a genius. He’s really good at spoofing things people love in a way that makes even the most devoted fans laugh. So we hope you agree that the above Breaking Dawn – Part 2 video, about Edward and Bella’s real daughter, Honey Boo Boo, is funny in the best non-mean-spirited way. Also, don’t watch her sneeze while you’re eating. We just hope her endearingly uncouth ways don’t put off the Denali clan from rushing to her defense.

Honey Boo Boo in Jimmy Kimmel's Breaking Dawn spoof

[Photo: ABC]

Related: Taylor Lautner Understands Why You Might Still Be Asking About This Whole Imprinting Thing
Kristen Stewart And Robert Pattinson In The 5 Breaking Dawn Red-Carpet Pics We Were Afraid To Hope For

by (@shalapitcher)

David Arquette Was Totally Sober On Jimmy Kimmel Last Night, But He Could’ve Fooled Us

“I haven’t had a drink or ANYTHING since Dec. 30, 2010. You’re a knuckle head. I’ve been like that since birth,” David Arquette tweeted in response to a random woman’s reaction to his Jimmy Kimmel Live appearance last night. But man, you can’t blame that “knuckle head” for thinking the actor was on something! He arrived at the show with bloodshot eyes, laughing through every single answer, much the way a very high person does, or a person who is just naturally hyper and childlike, we suppose. And maybe he was just giddy about the brand-new Wonder Woman tattoo he got just before heading to Kimmel’s studio.

David Arquette's new Wonder Woman tattoo
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by (@shalapitcher)

Gary Oldman’s Jersey Shore Recap: Tinkle Tailor Snooki UTI

We are smart, most of the time. And also we like serious movies every once in a while. But despite Gary Oldman’s Oscar nomination, we’ve kind of been avoiding Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Just didn’t seem like our thing. Until now. The actor appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night and gave a dramatic reading of an official synopsis of last night’s Jersey Shore. Which was definitely one of the grossest episodes of the show we’ve seen in a while.

Now, Oldman is definitely not your typical highbrow British actor — Sid and Nancy proved long ago that the guy can do gross. But he can put on a posh voice like nobody’s business, especially when saying, “While dancing in a club, Snooki accidentally pees on herself. She sprays perfume on herself and calls it a sure shower.” We love the way the words “JWoww” and “weiner” just role off his tongue. See for yourself in the video after the jump.
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by (@hallekiefer)

Justin Timberlake Reassures Us He Could Never Stop Making Music

He just doesn’t know how to quit you. He being Justin Timberlake, you being the corporeal embodiment of music, we guess. The point is, now matter how many dystopian sci-fi flicks he might star in or on-and-off relationships he might invest his emotional energy in, Justin promises that he will eventually make music feel sexy feelings again. “My idols as it were [Frank] Sinatra and Dean Martin and Gene Kelly, kind of the guys who could do it all,” Timberlake said during his Jimmy Kimmel Live interview last night. “And do it in a way that was authentic to them. I don’t think I could ever stop doing music.” Did you hear that, music? He wants to do you! Seems like our assumptions about Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel’s relationship preventing him from returning to his sweet, sweet tunes isn’t coming true! That Biel must be one open-minded woman!

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by (@hallekiefer)

Snooki Hasn’t Heard Of J.K. Rowling, Maya Angelou, Basically Anyone

Look, the woman is very busy becoming a New York Times best-selling author! She doesn’t have time to know things! During her interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, it was revealed that Snooki has no idea who Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling or Pulitizer Prize nominee Maya Angelou are. “I don’t know who that is, but I’m here,” Snooki scoffed when Kimmel called her more prolific than J.K. When reminded that Rowling wrote that series of books everyone in the Western Hemisphere has been reading for the past decade, the Jersey Shore star perked up, saying “Oh, ok, those movies are cool.” Well she’s not wrong, is she? Is she?

As of yesterday Snooki’s books now total three published works: the new Confessions of a Guidette, her first book A Shore Thing, and its sequel, the elegantly titled Gorilla Beach. When Kimmel informed Snooki that she beat Maya Angelou’s record for the use of the word ‘friggin’ in a single tome, Snooki admitted,”I don’t know who that is. I don’t know who anybody is!” That is not fair! Ask her stuff she knows, like who JWoww or The Situation are! We’re 92% sure she would get those two right!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Jimmy Kimmel’s Tearful Tribute To Uncle Frank Will Destroy You

Get ready for your mid-morning cry sesh, folks. Jimmy Kimmel made an emotional return to his late night show last night following the death of his beloved Uncle Frank Potenza on August 23rd. Frank had been a mainstay on the Jimmy Kimmel Live! since it’s debut back in 2003, often acting as the most hilarious part of the comedy sketches. And like a good nephew, Jimmy paid a touching a teary tribute to his uncle in the opening monologue. And it will have you crying harder than Beaches and My Girl combined.

“Listen, I’m gonna try to do this without crying, but I’m probably gonna fail,” he told the audience. “But just turn away or something, because it’s embarrassing. It really is.” He then launched into his favorite Frank anecdotes, including the former police man’s desire to live to 103 and become to oldest retired cop on record. “Not because he wanted to set a record or be in the paper,” Jimmy clarified, “he just wanted to stick them for another 25 years of pension checks.” A man after our own heart. “Uncle Frank loved being a part of this show…He loved you,” said the visibly emotional host. “And thanks to all of you who came to the show and watched, for indulging me and letting me put my crazy uncle on television.”

Jimmy then rolled a montage of Frank’s greatest TV moments, set to the tune “My Way” by that other Frank, Frank Sinatra. Excuse us for a moment, we seem to have something in our eye…*tear*

by (@missmuttoo)

Jimmy Kimmel’s Uncle Frank Passes Away

Such sad news to report. Lovely Uncle Frank Potenza from Jimmy Kimmel Live! died early yesterday morning. The silver haired guard was a staple on the show featuring in many comedic sketches. He was only 77 when he passed away and details around the cause of  death have not yet been released. ABC‘s statement reads, “It is with great sadness that the staff and crew of ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’ mourn the loss of ‘Uncle Frank’ Potenza. He was beloved by his co-workers and considered an uncle to all. His kindness and humor will be missed by everyone he touched.”

Before working on Jimmy Kimmel‘s — his nephew — show, Frank spent 2 decades as an NYC police officer.  Kimmel tweeted, “thank you for your kind words about a very kind man – my Uncle Frank – who passed away this morning.”

[Photo: Getty Images]