john mccain

by (@JordanRuntagh)

The Just-As-Short-List: Top Ten Most Awkward Celeb Moments

At some point we all suffer moments so painfully uncomfortable that we wish we could bore into our brains and suck out the memory with a shop-vac. But at least the cameras aren’t rolling when ours happen, unlike these unfortunate celebs. While memories may fade, video clips never do. That’s bad luck for them, but endlessly amusing for the rest of us.

Last Friday night The Short List train barreled on with the 10 Most Awkward Celebrity Moments. There were so many to choose from that we decided to chime in with a just-as-short-list of our own. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll cringe, and for once you’ll be glad you’re not to be rich and famous. See if your favorite moment made the cut!

[Photo: Getty and Images]

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Tina Fey Does It Again

Tina Fey reprised her role as Sarah Palin in yet another dead-on Saturday Night Live parody. This time, SNL guest Queen Latifah joined a sketch of the VP debate as debate moderator Gwen Ifill. Joe Biden, played by Jason Sudeikis, said that John McCain was “bad at his job” and “mentally unstable” and a “dear, dear friend.” He also debunked the notion that’s he’s a “Washington insider” by proclaiming that’s he’s from Scranton, Pennsylvania — “the worse place on earth” filled with “sad and desperate people with no ambition.”

Palin, who changed the moderator’s topics to suit her pre-prepared talking points and evoked Ronald Reagan‘s name for the sake of evoking Ronald Reagan’s name, had at least three devastatingly funny one-liners, including …

  • On fixing the economy: “We would ask what would a maverick do in this situation, and, then, you know, we’ll do that.”
  • On the cause of global warming: We don’t know if it’s man-mad or just “a natural part of The End Of Days.”
  • On her health care policy: “I’m going to ignore that question and instead talk about Israel. There’s a special place for Israel in heaven. And I know some people are going to say I’m only saying that to pander to voters in Florida. But from a very young age, my two greatest loves were always Jews and cuban food.”

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2008 Presidential Election: The Ultimate Quiz

Think you know Barack Obama, Joe Biden, John McCain and Sarah Palin? Think again! Test your political (and pop culture) savvy against others by answering all 26 questions — and checking your score at the end. This quiz ain’t easy. So good luck.

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Lesson For GOP: Don’t Cross This Heart

The GOP is in some serious hot water today … with the ladies from Heart. Ann and Nancy Wilson were just sitting at home on Wednesday night trying to watch the Republican convention when they heard their song “Barracuda” playing while Sarah Palin (nickamed Sarah Barracuda in high school) was introduced. On the one hand, it all seems harmless enough, and besides, you can pretty much guarantee that when you say “Heart” to John McCain he starts to fear for his own, he’s not thinking of 70′s rock. But in a statement released on Thursday, the Wilsons made the GOP try to understand, (try to understand, try try try to understand) where they’re coming from: “The Republican campaign did not ask for permission to use the song, nor would they have been granted that permission. We have asked the Republican campaign publicly not to use our music. We hope our wishes will be honored.”

Yet, last night after John McCain spoke, the song was played yet again, resulting in a follow up statement, this time a bit more angry (hence Nancy Wilson telling EW: “I feel completely fucked over.”) This time, the statement reads:

“Sarah Palin’s views and values in NO WAY represent us as American women. We ask that our song ‘Barracuda’ no longer be used to promote her image. The song ‘Barracuda’ was written in the late 70s as a scathing rant against the soulless, corporate nature of the music business, particularly for women. (The ‘barracuda’ represented the business.) While Heart did not and would not authorize the use of their song at the RNC, there’s irony in Republican strategists’ choice to make use of it there.”

Republicans seem to have a history of misinterpreting song lyrics — back in the 1980s, Ronald Reagan often used Bruce Springsteen‘s song “Born in the U.S.A.” at events despite the song’s lyrics being about the harsh effects of Vietnam on young Americans.

We suggest the GOP assign someone from its party to start reading album liner notes.

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Cindy McCain: Snazziest Grandma At The RNC

Our maybe-first-lady knows how to shop! Vanity Fair disected Cindy McCain‘s duds from opening night of the RNC, revealing that an eighth house could have caused the same hit to the McCain bank account. Apparently the elderly duo has no problem blowing many Benjamins on a fancy outfit. If her hubby is elected into office, let’s just hope they’ll have no qualms being as generous with funding for education, healthcare and alternative energy.

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Sarah Palin: Normal Hockey Mom Or Politico With One Too Many Skeletons?

John McCain’s running mate Sarah Palin has a few more skeletons in her closet than was first revealed. Palin, who supports abstinence-only education programs in public school, announced on Monday that her unmarried 17-year-old daughter, Bristol (pictured above at left), is five months pregnant. “Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. As Bristol faces the responsibilities of adulthood, she knows she has our unconditional love and support,” said Palin in a statement to Reuters. There had been false rumors on the Internet that Palin faked her most recent pregnancy to cover up for Bristol, and that Trig, who has Down syndrome, is actually her grandchild. A senior aide told Reuters: “The despicable rumors that have been spread by liberal blogs, some even with Barack Obama‘s name in them, is a real anchor around the Democratic ticket, pulling them down in the mud in a way that certainly juxtaposes themselves against their campaign of change.” In addition to the announcement of Bristol’s baby, news spread yesterday that Palin has hired a private attorney to represent her in a state ethics probe and that she was a member of the Alaska Independence Party, an organization that considered attempting to secede from the U.S.

Palin’s daughter’s baby daddy, Levi Johnston, has only added fuel to the media fire with comments on his MySpace page, which has just been taken down. The Alaskan governor announced that Bristol and her high school sweetheart plan on marrying, but Johnston seems less enthusiastic about their future union. The New York Post reports that although Levi admits to being “in a relationship’” on his personal profile, the teen hockey player wrote that he doesn’t want kids. Johnston proudly uses profanity to describe his hobbies: “I’m a f – - -in’ redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- – - and just f – - -in’ chillin’ I guess.” Well, at least he’ll be able to offer his unborn child a colorful vocabulary. Johnston signs off on his note by saying, “Ya f – - – with me I’ll kick (your) ass.” Palin shouldn’t be too concerned about her adolescent future son-in-law because most political families have at least one embarrassing family member.

The Palins asked the news media to respect the young couple’s privacy, but apparently perezhilton.com didn’t get the memo: It posted pictures this morning of Bristol posing enthusiastically with bottles of alcohol. We’re not sure if any of these details will get the self-described “hockey mom” into trouble this November — or if they’ll have the opposite effect by somehow humanizing her to voters. [Photo: AFP]

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Update: Palin ‘Baby Scandal’ Quashed

Update: Turns out that the theory below was a fantasy concocted by liberal bloggers, and was quashed yesterday morning when Sarah Palin issued a statement saying that their 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, is five months pregnant.

After John McCain announced Alaskan governor Sarah Palin to be his running mate in a surprise move, we posted 21 facts about the little-known politician. One of them: Palin drew praise from religious conservatives for deciding not to abort her youngest child, Trig, who was born on April 18, after learning during her pregnancy that he had Down syndrome.

But could this all be a big lie? The political blog Daily Kos believes so. In a post titled Sarah Palin Is NOT The Mother [Photos+Video], a blogger at Kos argues that the baby belongs to Palin’s 16-year-old daughter. It’s important to point out that the post contains not a shred of hard evidence to support its claim, but digs up enough oddities and curiosities surrounding the birth of baby Trig to make you wonder, including:

- When Palin announced she was expecting, she was seven months pregnant. No one had noticed that she was pregnant from her appearance, not even close members of her staff.

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Obama Wins Hearts of Hollywood, McCain Gathers Cracksquad

While we’re not suggesting our readers cast their votes in November based on celebrity endorsements, we feel it’s worthwhile to highlight the teams building on both sides. Among the A-listers, music legends and social activists that count themselves as (outspoken) supporters of Senator Barack Obama: Oprah Winfrey, will.i.am., Halle Berry, Stevie Wonder, Bono, Alicia Keys, Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson — to name a few.

Senator John McCain‘s Tinseltown fan club seems much less proud of their candidate (we had trouble finding ANY photos of celebs donning McCain gear), and includes The Nanny, The Terminator, Rambo, the goth girl from The Breakfast Club, Doyle of Bio-Dome, and Hills antagonist Heidi Montag.

Sounds like six more reasons we will not be attending the Republican National Convention next week. See photos of the loud and proud Obama followers below:

[Photo at top: MGM Home Entertainment, Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, Universal Home Entertainment, Lionsgate, Pacific Coast News]

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Roseanne: Angelina Is Evil, Brad Is Vacuous

Looks like it’s time to breakout those Team Jolie t-shirts again! No, it’s not another battle over Brad Pitt‘s love, but a straight out attack from the always-entertaining lunatic Roseanne Barr. Roseanne had her nails out when she took to her blog to rip Angelina Jolie a new one for not endorsing Barack Obama.

In a post from Friday, Roseanne addresses Jon Voight (the actress’ father): “Your evil spawn Angelina Jolie and her vacuous hubby Brad Pitt make about $40 million a year in violent, psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more.”

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