OK, it’s time to confiscate the Kardashian’s Macbooks. The first family of attention seekers have just released a music video made out of footage from their trip to the Dominican Republic. Sure, it does feature elder K-Sisters Kim and Khloe dancing in swimsuits, but tragically it also contains Kris Jenner smacking husband Bruce’s booty (and vice versa). That disturbing image has seared itself into our brain like a cattle brand, and we’re amazed YouTube didn’t make us confirm our age to view it.
The clip is set to Notorious B.I.G.’s “Hypnotize” and was posted online by junior Kardashian sisters Kendall and Kylie (16 and 14 respectively), whose rap-dancer bikini gyrations that we viewed for journalistic purposes now make us feel like we should be on some kind of watch list. “Here’s our latest family music video to Hypnotize by Notorious B.I.G,” they wrote. “We might get some hate but who cares, we had fun doing it! Hope you guys don’t take this too seriously!” And there you have it folks: rap videos are fun for the whole family! From mom and dad, all the way down to underage daughters. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to give our eyes a shower.
Although they’ve only been public for less than two months, kontroversial kouple Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are apparently preparing to move in together. According to a report on TMZ, both Kim and Yeezy have secretly listed their respective homes for sale with a “pocket listing,” which doesn’t show up in official real estate paperwork. Sneaky! Unnamed sources claim that the pair are now searching for a rental home to share. This probably shouldn’t come as a huge surprise considering that the two have allegedly been talking about marriage. Everyone who’s kinda bummed that Kim wasted all that camera coverage on Kris Humphries, raise your hand. We thought so. Come on Kardashians, watching Kim and Kanye go house-hunting would be the greatest reality show OF ALL TIME!
Let’s not pretend we didn’t see Kanye West’s appearance on Keeping Up With The Kardashians coming. The new promo video shows Kanye West and Kim Kardashian smiling in each others’ faces right after Khloe says, “Kanye and Kim, they’re kind of like two peas in a pod.” Of course Kimye wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass to flaunt her new boo on her show. Forget about her “guarded heart” that she wants to keep out of the spotlight. Ratings rule everything!
But don’t get too excited about seeing the intricate details of her relationship with Yeezy. In an interview with E! Online she said, “If we are having dinner and he does show up, I’m sure we’re not going to go, ‘Stop the cameras!’” But, yes, there’s a “but,” “I’m not going to be taking a bubble bath and drinking champagne or on a sex swing [on camera] like Khloé [Kardashian Odom] and Lamar [Odom] do,” she said. Imagine Kimmy Cakes sitting on Kanye in a sex swing! From the looks of the promo Kourtney is having a baby girl and still fighting with Scott, Khloe’s still the outcast of the family, but happily married to Lamar Odom and Kim is, well, in love. Again. After six seasons I think we all know play by play what will happen. That won’t keep us from tuning in to see if Kimye steal a kiss, or end up in a swing.
Ouch. One of the slight downsides of dating is that sometimes you gotta do stuff you don’t really want to do in order to make your partner happy. But come on, Kanye. You could have at least tried to put on a happy face when accompanying Kim Kardashian to the launch of her jewelry line in Toronto last night. Lose the hoodie, put on a real shirt and be supportive! We know, maybe you wanted to catch up on House, give your buddy Jay-Z a call, or just kick up your feet and read that new book you splurged on at Barnes and Nobles. But there’s always tomorrow night, so cheer up. The spotlight will be back on you in no time! Check out more of the not-so-happy twosome in the gallery below.
Khloe Kardashian’s husband Lamar Odom announced today that he is leaving the Dallas Mavericks after playing for the team for less than a season. Despite the fact that Lamar had the worst season of his career, he insists that the decision to leave was “mutual.” For those of you who’ve never been dumped, that’s code for “they kicked his ass out.”
“The Mavericks and I have mutually agreed that it’s in the best interest of both parties for me to step away from the team,” the power forward said in a statement to ESPN today. “I’m sorry that things didn’t work out better for both of us, but I wish the Mavs organization, my teammates and Dallas fans nothing but continued success in the defense of their championship.” Lamar will remain on the team’s “inactive” list for the remainder of the season, which probably means that this season of Khloe & Lamar is going to feature a lot of crying in the bathroom.
Reportedly Lamar never really felt at home on the Dallas team, and really was still hung up on his true love: the L.A. Lakers, who unceremoniously traded him this past fall. “Lamar hasn’t gotten over being traded from the Lakers, and he has been depressed and moody ever since the trade happened,” a friend of Khloe and Lamar told RadarOnline. “He couldn’t fathom the fact that the Lakers traded him after all of his years with the team.” He’s hoping that a move back to Los Angeles will bolster his spirits.
We admit, this all has got to be pretty embarrassing for Lamar. How does it stack up with that other painfully short Kardashian union between sister-in-law Kim and fellow baller Kris Humphries? Let’s take a look at the stats…
The Kardashian sisters are no strangers to bikinis, so it makes sense that they added a swimsuit line to their Kardashian Kollection. Luckily for us, Kourtney, Kim and Khloe decided to take ‘em for a test run in front of the camera lens! The first photo for their Sears collection was posted on designer Bruno Schiavi’sFacebook page today, and the Krew looked stunning as ever. “First look at our new Kardashian Kollection Swimwear campaign,” he wrote. “The girls look incredible!!!!!” There aren’t enough exclamation points in the world for that statement.
But all isn’t rosy in Kardashian-Kountry. Modeling legend Janice Dickinson threw a mega diss at Kim in the wake of her flour attack last week. “Throwing flour on someone is rude,” Janice told RadarOnline.com. “I think Kim should be tarred and feathered!” Ouch! Ms. Dickinson has apparently never been a huge fan of Kim. In fact, she’s gone on record saying that Kim’s famous booty is in fact “a heap of lard!” Easy, Janice! “I support PETA,” she continued. “Anyone that wears fur is rude and disgusting! Especially Kim Kardashian. She is rude and disgusting.” OK, so we can officially add her to the list of peeps who aren’t keeping up with the Kardashians…
The on-going soap opera we call the Kardashian’s barrels on today with a twist that would do Maury Povich proud. Both an ex-wife and a widow of the late attorney/Kardashian Klan patriarch Robert Kardashian are making claims that Khloe isn’t actually a Kardashian. Technically, at least. Kris Jenner has already admitted to infidelity during her marriage to Robert, and this report alleges that Khloe is actually the result of one of her affairs.
“Khloe is not his kid.Â He told me that after we got married,” Jan Ashley, Robert’s second wife, told StarMagazine. “He said, ‘Well, you know that Khloe’s not really a Kardashian, don’t you?’ And I saidâ€¦’OK,’ and that was it.” Robert’s widow Ellen Kardashian supports the explosive accusations. “Robert did question the fact that Khloe was his,” she said. “Any normal man would if they knew their wife had cheated on him. She looked nothing like the rest. She was tall, had a different shape, light hair, curly hair. [She] didn’t look anything like the other three children.” According to Ellen, Robert even admitted that he and Kris weren’t even sleeping together at the time Khloe was conceived.
Here’s a fun fact: Kim Kardashian decided announce her headline-grabbing divorce from Kris Humphries just days before little sister Kendall Jenner’s birthday. What nerve! And it’s not just any birthday either. Today happens to be Kendall’s sweet 16. Way to steal your baby sis’s thunder, Kim. Haven’t you ever seen Sixteen Candles? But don’t worry Kendall, we here at the FABLife haven’t forgotten! Both Kendall and baby sis Kylie, the junior members of the Kardashian Klan, have most certainly inherited the chic style of their big siblings. But Kendall in particular seems to thrive in the fashion world, already making a name for herself on the catwalk and in print ads. So as an extra special sweet 16 gift, we’d like to present her 16 most stylish looks. It’s not a Ferrari, but what are ya gonna do? Take a spin in the gallery below for more!
Man, we love celebrity friendships. In the oddest BFF pairing we’ve heard of, it seems Kris Humphries and Vinny Guadagnino are now homies. Us Weekly reports that Mr. Kardashian and the Jersey Shore guido had a proper “boys night out” at STK in L.A recently, where Kris “seemed to be in good spirits.” The bromance was sealed when they two flew from New York to Las Vegas earlier this month, where a source says, “Kim slept the entire time while [Vinny and Kris] chatted the whole way.”
We see plot lines evolving on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Perhaps a story where Kim’s miffed that her husband is spending too much time with his bro? Tears! Drama! A walk on the Jersey Shore in moonlight to make up. Ah, the joys of “reality” television.
Umm…aww? Kourtney Kardashian decided that her young son Mason Disick should have a pet. Sounds perfectly natural, right? But then she had to go “Kardashian” all over everything, and the result: she went out and bought the 21-month old a snake. And this isn’t just a some friendly little garter, either. Apparently Baby’s First Reptile is “big and vicious.” Kourtney made the purchase in the New York City store Fauna yesterday along with little sis Khloe, who was understandably pretty grossed out by the whole ordeal. “Eww! It’s not mine,” she told photographers as they carried the serpent out of the shop. No word yet on what they named the snake (may we suggest “Scott Disick”?), but it now resides comfortably in the Kardashian suite at the Gansevoort Hotel where it passes the hours “snapping at the grass” in it’s tank. File this one under “Things they wouldn’t do if they weren’t followed by a camera crew.” Don’t forget to save the snake skin for Mason’s baby book!