“I’m Having A Baby!” declares Kim Kardashian on OK!’s latest cover. When we saw this we were all, “OMG yay! Keeping Up With The Kardashi-spawns can now be a real show!” But then we read the accompanying article and said to our computer, “Hold the eff up, gurl.” The cover may be all about a baby, but the story is just some random engagement details strung together to vaguely appear as if it’s about a baby. “I walked in and… stroked my hair, flashing the ring,” Kim tells the tabloid. Okay, cool, but what about your baby announcement, Kim?! “After three minutes of arguing, everyone finally started jumping,” she says. Jumping about the ring. Not the phantom baby.
But don’t worry, there are more quotes! From friends! “Kim always thought she’d have at least one or two kids by now, so she’s absolutely in a hurry,” says OK!’s source. “And Kris loves kids and doesn’t see any reason to wait. Her friends are even taking bets on whether it will be a boy or a girl.” Well that’s nice, but once again: YOU NEVER ACTUALLY SAY SHE’S PREGNANT, OK! MAGAZINE. But you are quite talented at misleading readers with your selective word choice. Congratulations?
[Photo: OK! Magazine]
Kim Kardashian is engaged to Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets! The pair have been dating since December. Surely Kris must have known it was fate when he met Kim and her family of K names — he has two sisters named Krystal and Kaela. They must be soulmates! Even more exciting (for us) — Kim may be relocating to New York City to be near her man. Let’s do lunch, girl! Our treat! (If it’s Quiznos.)
In true Kardashian form, she’s already plugging the engagement on this week’s cover of People magazine. See her giant 20.5 carat ring and learn all about the storybook (er, or a little much?) proposal: Kris was waiting in her bedroom on his knee with the words ‘Will you marry me’ spelled out in rose petals. We’re just thrilled that the news all but ensures an endless amount of Kim-focused reality shows…engagement, wedding, newlywed life, maybe a baby…the opportunities for fame are endless!
[Photos: People Magazine/GettyImages]
We don’t know how we’d feel about being that close to such a gorgeous beast as it slinks around set. Oh, and someone should keep an eye on that tiger too. Heyo! Seriously though, how could we have expected any less from Kim Kardashian’s promo shoot for Keeping Up For the Kardashians Season 6, where the questions “Are there enough pillows?” and “Is the entirety of my rib cage exposed?” always have the same answer: not yet.
Despite Kim’s apparently nervousness, no Kardashians were harmed in the making of these photos (the jury’s still out on the Kardashian’ holiday nightmare.) “I tried posing with the white tiger at our family photo shoot for Keeping Up with the Kardashians season six last week, but I was so scared!!!!,” Kim posted. “The tiger had to get into position on his own! It was freakkkky! He got a little frisky so the trainer had to come help out. This is probably one of the scariest moments I’ve had during a photo shoot.” The scariest moment not including silver body paint, no doubt After the shoot, Kim was safely released back into the wild, the wild for her being just another room that looks exactly like this one.
[Photos: Kim Kardashian's Blog]
The “teen credit card” that the Kardashian sisters lent their name to back in November—and then distanced themselves from—has become quite the headache for the family. The Kardashian Pre-Paid MasterCard was touted as a way for teens to learn fiscal responsibility, but in reality, it was so loaded down with hidden fees that the real lesson for America’s youth would be one about digging yourself out of debt. The Kardashian sisters and their mother Kris are being sued by the licensing company Revenue Resource Group for $75 million for breach of contract since they abruptly pulled out of the deal.
While we’re often hard on the Kardashians for lending their name to just about anything, we thought they showed some decency by taking their name off the credit card. A statement from the licensing company’s attorney, however, argues they “spent a great deal of time and effort securing the rights to use the Kardashian card” and that they have the “right to market the pre-paid debit card.” They even claim that the K sisters have “effectively put this company out of business.” Well, considering they’re a company that wants to financially screw over people in an already fragile economy, we don’t see how that’s a bad thing.
Kardashian lovers rejoice, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are now a spinoff! It was confirmed today that the couple will star in their own show, tentatively titled Khloe & Lamar. Just one more show about Kardashians to keep up with, right guys?
As with all other family ventures, momager Kris Jenner will act as executive producer, as will Ryan Seacrest. Khlomar has honestly exceeded our expectations as a couple, staying together for over one whole year and making their decision to get couples-tattoos miraculously un-regrettable thus far. Hopefully having their own show won’t be their downfall! No doubt Khloe wanted additional screen time since the spin-off featuring her sisters, Kourtney & Kim Take New York, debuts this month.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Remember how the Kardashian sisters got their own prepaid debit card (presumably because the mint turned them down)? Well, the cards are being withdrawn from sale after only three weeks. Fiscally irresponsible teenagers will have to find a new way to buy their Frappuccinos.
The K sisters pulled out of the Mastercard deal afterÃ‚Â Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal claimed that the cardÃ‚Â was racked with potentially illegal “predatory” fees. In fact, the fees for their card are higher most prepaid debit card on the market. Use of the card alone costs $99.95 for the first year, not to mention the money that you have to put on it. It costs $7.95 each month after that, $1 to check the balance and $1.50 to withdraw. Got a problem with it? Call the help-line for $1.50 a call. Want to cancel? No biggie, but first fork over $6. It’s figures like this that make us glad we keep our money in a shoebox under our mattress.
“Keeping up with the Kardashians is impossible with this card,” claims Blumenthal. “Consumers lose money before they use money. Even before consumers spend a dime, the Kardashian Kard fees swallow the card’s value.” It could have been worse—they could have made it so it only worked at DASH. But cheer up, Kardashian sisters! Maybe we can pull some strings and get your faces on a license plate or something. “Kar-Dashian Plates: The perfect Sweet Sixteen gift.”
When you take on one Kardashian, you take on all of the Kardashians. One woman learned that lesson the hard way last night at the Manhattan hotspot Juliet. While the sisters were out celebrating the fact that they’re Kardashians, Kim was attacked by an enraged girlfriend of a male fan. All the dude wanted was a picture, but apparently his ladyfriend thought they were flirting. That’s when she harnessed all of her crazy, marched up to Kim and threw a drink in her face.
According to TMZ, things went downhill from there. Khloe and part-time Kardashian-babydaddy/full-time-tool Scott Disick had to jump in to pull the furious girl off of Kim. Khloe lost her wedding ring in the scuffle and “literally dove across the floor to retrieve it.” For his efforts, Scott was kicked out of the club, and the rest of the K-Krew exited soon after.
You don’t usually think of the Kardashian’s getting into bar brawls. Maybe they’re trying to compete with Jersey Shore. Kim And Kourtney Take Seaside Heights, anyone?
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Sure, we know the Kardashian sisters are hamming it up for their reality show cameras in this pic. But we can’t help but “awww” over how cute they look being all sisterly and goofy and dorky together! That is, right after we seethe with envy over their fierce boots. Yes, we know we sound like Tyra Banks dropping fierce as a modifier in a sentence, but for reals, guys – Kim and Khloe’s sparkly/studded footgear is to dieeeee for. And this is coming from someone who wears Toms 24/7. We know what we’re talking ’bout!
The girls are in NYC to launch a new store – and tape their show – and they seemed genuinely happy to be reunited. Real emotion coming from celebrities. Who would have thought it possible?
[Photo: Splash News Online]
That long plastic hair, those lush fake eye lashes, the legendary curves…yep, Snooki has just established herself as the long-lost Kardashian sister. Snook, she of the giant house slippers, posted this pic of her and her new BFFs at Khloe‘s one-year wedding anniversary party. (Wait, people have those?!) Don’t they look thick as thieves?
The Jersey Shore-lette also tweeted a snapshot of her and mama-bear Kris Kardashian, writing, “Kris is bangin, just sayennn.” We’re sure Bruce Jenner would agree, Nicole. Now isn’t it time to sit down with your new clan and pitch a hybrid reality show? Keeping Up With The Kardashians As They Slum It On The Jersey Shore? That sounds like a start.
It seems like just yesterday that KhloÃƒÂ© Kardashian and Lamar Odom got married in a rush job wedding only one month after they met. The romance and subsequent nuptials were a boon to Vegas oddsmakers and a shock to anyone who is even slightly familiar with the boyfriend history of the Kardashian girls – in short, we never thought they’d last. And yet here we are, one whole year later, wishing these two a happy anniversary. Honestly, the odds of this couple staying together appeared even worse than the odds of Khloe meeting the president— what??! That wasn’t just some bad dream we had? What the hell??
In honor of the pair’s paper anniversary, let’s look back on them as they have been over the past year, happy, successful and with KhloÃƒÂ© trailing Lamar everywhere they go. Mazel Tov, you crazy kids!