Keeping Up With the Kardashians

by (@missmuttoo)

Kris Jenner Gets A Face-Lift For Kim’s Wedding

Kim Kardashian‘s wedding to Kris Humphries is going to be a spectacle of, well, Kardashianical proportions. A source tells the NY Daily News, “ Kim really does want it to be America’s version of the royal wedding is going to be isn’t the only one primping for a picture-perfect wedding. It’s the most lavish event possible – no matter what it costs.” Of course it’s going to be, because it has to be a money-making machine.

Kim’s mom Kris Jenner, as always, has dollar signs in her eyes with the whole wedding-palooza. The source explains that she, “is worried that all the money that’s going to be made from the wedding [via the sale of photo rights and sponsorships] will have to go right back into it.” But she’s also worried about how she’s going to look at the wedding because everything is going to be broadcast to the far outreaches of the globe. Apparently, Kris just got a facelift. And all the Kardashians are talking about it because publicity is the reason for their existence.

Khloe Kardashian spoke about her mom’s procedure saying, “She looks amazing. They say you are supposed to have a lot of swelling for a week or so after, but I didn’t notice.” Jenner’s facelift will be a part of an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, with the momager revealing, “I’ve never had such a stressful morning, honestly, in my life.” Also, FYI, Humphries has also been talked into getting dental veneers before the wedding. Like we said, everything needs to be perfect, because perfect means a bigger paycheck!

by (@missmuttoo)

It’s All Settled! Kim Kardashian’s Butt Is In Fact, Real!

For anyone who had any doubts about Kim Kardashian‘s butt, we now have answers. No implants, guys! Her sister Khloe Kardashian blogged, “Hey dolls. The PROOF is in the X-ray. Kim’s ass is 100% real!!!” It’s all natural back there and to prove it, Khloe actually posted a picture of an X-ray of Kimmy’s butt! See? Looks quite normal in there, doesn’t it? And yes, they actually got an X-ray. We’re trying to imagine the doctors expression when the trio descended. Especially when Kim said something like, “Hi, I’d like to get an X-ray of my butt, please.” We’re guessing that’s how the conversation probably started!

Not that Ms. Kardashian would have gotten one on her own. She needed that extra push from her sisters, as Kim tweeted an explanation, “Haha! The things my sisters have me do! Proof baby! RT @KhloeKardashian: Kim got a butt X-Ray … See, it’s REAL!!! LOL.” And now we have Baby got Back stuck in our heads. Damn you, Kardashian sisters!

[Photo via Celebuzz]

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Kim Kardashian Cover Sales Slipping, People Worried About $1m Payday?

Paris Hilton isn’t the only reality star dealing with some consumer disinterest. Page Six says the people over at People are nervous about the $1 million they allegedly paid for exclusive rights to cover Kim Kardashian’s wedding after her engagement photos—which cost $300,000—failed to fly off the shelves. It’s too bad footballer Bret Lockett admitted he never met Kim despite his claims that they “hooked up”…People could use any controversy they can get! Maybe they even get the million back if Kim and Kris Humphries call everything off.

People and Kim deny that any deal has been made for the wedding photos, and if that’s true, the ratings of last night’s Keeping Up With The Kardashians premiere may decide how much Kim can actually expect to pull in for exclusive pics of the festivities. But even if the ratings slip, you can guarantee the Kardashian girls won’t just blame technical difficulties like Paris did. These women aren’t afraid to work for their money…as long as it doesn’t actually mean being good at anything. How about a pre-honeymoon sex tape, guys?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Khloe Kardashian Flashes Nipple On Fox & Friends—And Fox Doesn’t Notice!

It’s been a big day for nipslip enthusiasts! As stunning as Lady Gaga’s wardrobe malfunction was at last night’s CFDA Awards, Khloe Kardashian topped her outrageousness by managing to pop a nipple out on Fox & Friends this morning. What makes it even more amazing? No one noticed! On the show with sister Kourtney to give a “sneak peek” (and how!) at the next season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Khloe’s nipple was initially hidden by a mix of hair and text bar. But between the zooming camera and the shifting socialite, astute Fox viewers eventually noted a dark circle under her sheer blouse, something no one on screen (or behind the camera) seemed remotely aware of.

Not that Khloe is embarrassed about it now. “I f—ing love nipples!!!!” she tweeted after fans told her about the slip, later adding “My mom just called me saying my nip slip is ‘all over the internet!’ Ha! Is it weird that I love it?! Who knew nipples were so special?” Gee, we dunno…Janet Jackson maybe? Check out the subtly NSFW video from Fox—for as long as it’s available!—after the jump.

Read more…

by (@katespencer)

Kim Kardashian Pregnant, Or OK! Magazine Full Of It?

“I’m Having A Baby!” declares Kim Kardashian on OK!’s latest cover. When we saw this we were all, “OMG yay! Keeping Up With The Kardashi-spawns can now be a real show!” But then we read the accompanying article and said to our computer, “Hold the eff up, gurl.” The cover may be all about a baby, but the story is just some random engagement details strung together to vaguely appear as if it’s about a baby. “I walked in and… stroked my hair, flashing the ring,” Kim tells the tabloid. Okay, cool, but what about your baby announcement, Kim?! “After three minutes of arguing, everyone finally started jumping,” she says. Jumping about the ring. Not the phantom baby.

But don’t worry, there are more quotes! From friends! “Kim always thought she’d have at least one or two kids by now, so she’s absolutely in a hurry,” says OK!’s source. “And Kris loves kids and doesn’t see any reason to wait. Her friends are even taking bets on whether it will be a boy or a girl.” Well that’s nice, but once again: YOU NEVER ACTUALLY SAY SHE’S PREGNANT, OK! MAGAZINE. But you are quite talented at misleading readers with your selective word choice. Congratulations?

[Photo: OK! Magazine]

 

by (@katespencer)

Kris Humphries Proposes To Kim Kardashian With 20.5 Carat Ring

Kim Kardashian is engaged to Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets! The pair have been dating since December. Surely Kris must have known it was fate when he met Kim and her family of K names — he has two sisters named Krystal and Kaela. They must be soulmates! Even more exciting (for us) — Kim may be relocating to New York City to be near her man. Let’s do lunch, girl! Our treat! (If it’s Quiznos.)

In true Kardashian form, she’s already plugging the engagement on this week’s cover of People magazine. See her giant 20.5 carat ring and learn all about the storybook (er, or a little much?) proposal: Kris was waiting in her bedroom on his knee with the words ‘Will you marry me’ spelled out in rose petals. We’re just thrilled that the news all but ensures an endless amount of Kim-focused reality shows…engagement, wedding, newlywed life, maybe a baby…the opportunities for fame are endless!

[Photos: People Magazine/GettyImages]

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by (@hallekiefer)

White Tigers? Insane Cleavage? Yup, Sounds Like A Kardashian Photo Shoot

We don’t know how we’d feel about being that close to such a gorgeous beast as it slinks around set. Oh, and someone should keep an eye on that tiger too. Heyo! Seriously though, how could we have expected any less from Kim Kardashian’s promo shoot for Keeping Up For the Kardashians Season 6, where the questions “Are there enough pillows?” and “Is the entirety of my rib cage exposed?” always have the same answer: not yet.

Despite Kim’s apparently nervousness, no Kardashians were harmed in the making of these photos (the jury’s still out on the Kardashian’ holiday nightmare.) “I tried posing with the white tiger at our family photo shoot for Keeping Up with the Kardashians season six last week, but I was so scared!!!!,” Kim posted. “The tiger had to get into position on his own! It was freakkkky! He got a little frisky so the trainer had to come help out. This is probably one of the scariest moments I’ve had during a photo shoot.” The scariest moment not including silver body paint, no doubt After the shoot, Kim was safely released back into the wild, the wild for her being just another room that looks exactly like this one.

[Photos: Kim Kardashian's Blog]

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The Kardashians Are Being Sued Over Their Kredit Kard

The “teen credit card” that the Kardashian sisters lent their name to back in November—and then distanced themselves from—has become quite the headache for the family. The Kardashian Pre-Paid MasterCard was touted as a way for teens to learn fiscal responsibility, but in reality, it was so loaded down with hidden fees that the real lesson for America’s youth would be one about digging yourself out of debt. The Kardashian sisters and their mother Kris are being sued by the licensing company Revenue Resource Group for $75 million for breach of contract since they abruptly pulled out of the deal.

While we’re often hard on the Kardashians for lending their name to just about anything, we thought they showed some decency by taking their name off the credit card. A statement from the licensing company’s attorney, however, argues they “spent a great deal of time and effort securing the rights to use the Kardashian card” and that they have the “right to market the pre-paid debit card.” They even claim that the K sisters have “effectively put this company out of business.” Well, considering they’re a company that wants to financially screw over people in an already fragile economy, we don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

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Kardashian Empire Expands As Khloe And Lamar Get A Spin-Off

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Kardashian lovers rejoice, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are now a spinoff! It was confirmed today that the couple will star in their own show, tentatively titled Khloe & Lamar. Just one more show about Kardashians to keep up with, right guys?

As with all other family ventures, momager Kris Jenner will act as executive producer, as will Ryan Seacrest.  Khlomar has honestly exceeded our expectations as a couple, staying together for over one whole year and making their decision to get couples-tattoos miraculously un-regrettable thus far. Hopefully having their own show won’t be their downfall! No doubt Khloe wanted additional screen time since the spin-off featuring her sisters, Kourtney & Kim Take New York, debuts this month.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

The Kardashian’s Cancel Their Credit Cards

Remember how the Kardashian sisters got their own prepaid debit card (presumably because the mint turned them down)? Well, the cards are being withdrawn from sale after only three weeks. Fiscally irresponsible teenagers will have to find a new way to buy their Frappuccinos.

The K sisters pulled out of the Mastercard deal after Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal claimed that the card was racked with potentially illegal “predatory” fees. In fact, the fees for their card are higher most prepaid debit card on the market. Use of the card alone costs $99.95 for the first year, not to mention the money that you have to put on it. It costs $7.95 each month after that, $1 to check the balance and $1.50 to withdraw. Got a problem with it? Call the help-line for $1.50 a call. Want to cancel? No biggie, but first fork over $6. It’s figures like this that make us glad we keep our money in a shoebox under our mattress.

“Keeping up with the Kardashians is impossible with this card,” claims Blumenthal. “Consumers lose money before they use money. Even before consumers spend a dime, the Kardashian Kard fees swallow the card’s value.” It could have been worse—they could have made it so it only worked at DASH. But cheer up, Kardashian sisters! Maybe we can pull some strings and get your faces on a license plate or something. “Kar-Dashian Plates: The perfect Sweet Sixteen gift.”

[Photo: Images]