Keeping Up With the Kardashians

by (@hallekiefer)

Kim Kardashian Was Gunning For Reality Stardom Before She Could Tie Her Shoes


If you’re thinking Kim Kardashian stumbled into reality TV infamy purely by sexy accident, think again; she’s actually been planning it since grade school. In an interview with Allure, Kardashian explains what was going on in the adolescent mind of the reality TV diva, saying “in elementary school, The Real World came on and I was like, That’s it! I know I want to be on a reality show. And I was like, OK, when I’m old enough, I will make an audition tape.” Who could have predicted that audition tape would also star Ray J and an overly ornate wrought iron headboard?

Unlike us, Kim is totally over her scandalous beginnings, brushing aside questions about her sex tape while admitting, “Not my most proud moment. It was humiliating. But now let’s move on.” Move on?! From illicit nudity?! Allright, but only if we can get a super-TMI peek at your grooming habits. Says Kim, “I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal! Arms, bikini, legs, underarms…my entire body is hairless.” See, that’s one stereotype that Armenians just can’t shake: they all love lasers!

Kardashian goes on to dish about sisters Khloe and Kourtney, her love life, and her elite all-girls high school, where she was voted “Most Likely to Meet Her Husband at the Million Man March” and “Most Likely to Lie About Her Ethnicity.” That’s not a joke on our part; those were actual categories. Wow, no wonder Kim wanted to get on reality TV so bad; it probably looked like an oasis of sanity compared to her classmates. Kardashian also said she would love to explore a possible sitcom in the future, “maybe about a career woman,” perhaps not realizing that she already living in one, albeit with more butt-related story arcs. [Photo: Getty Images]


The Kardashian Sisters Set To Launch Clothing Line: Yay Or Yawn?

If you’ve been keeping up with the Kardashians, then you know that this family was able to turn daughter Kim’s sex tape scandal into nothing short of an empire, one that ranges from reality television shows to consumer products. Now, according to People Magazine, the Kardashian sisters are launching a clothing line with international designer Bruno Schiavi and his Australian-based apparel company, Jupi Corporation.

Not only will Khloe, Kourtney and Kim be launching their own official line of clothing, but they’ll also be getting paid to lend their name “designing” accessories and home products, too. A press release from Jupi Corporation reports that plans are already underway after the first collection is completed to extend the brand into luggage, swimwear, shoes and kids fashion. Take note, Heidi Montag, because the dynamic trio of Kim, Khloe and Kourtney are putting on a clinic as to how to parlay reality television fame into big business.

Seriously though, is it just us or are new business deals involving this family announced on a weekly basis? It hasn’t even been a week since Khloe announced that she and hubby Lamar Odom are launching a unisex cologne, but don’t forget all the other crap that is sure to sit under our Christmas trees this December: self-tanner, the QuickTrim diet system, PerfectSkin products, the Kardashians by BeBe clothing line, Kim’s very own perfume and Kardashians for Beach Bunny Swimwear. So, to answer the question “Yay or Yawn/”, we’re saying yawn! But give it a year and we’re predicting that the Kardashians will be building houses next to Vanilla Ice, a definite yay!

by (@missmuttoo)

Khloe Kardashian’s Back Taxes Come To Bite Her On Her Famous Butt

Explain something to us: Do celebrities feel that taxes are an optional activity? That if their crazy schedules cause them to “forget” one year, the government will magically make them disappear? Plus, with all the gazillion dollars they make, would it not be wise to give a teeny tiny amount of that cash to an accountant to sort out their finances so they don’t have to sweat their famous brows? Apparently, not.

Khloe Kardashian obviously thought that IRS were fans of Keeping up with the Kardashians or something, because she decided to stop paying taxes in 2007, when the show debuted on E!. Khloe owes a grand total of $18,490.74 to the state of California. Come on KK, that’s like pocket change to you! You and your sisters can’t “take Miami” if you’re stuck in a Kourthouse! Learn something from the likes these famous tax evaders (photos). They’re celebrities too and – newsflash! – the government doesn’t care.


Bikini Shots Prove Kendall Jenner Is A Kardashian Through And Through


At first glance, we thought the picture above was Khloe Kardashian, doing what the Kardashians do best – pose vacantly while promoting their #1 product: themselves. But in reality, that bikini shot isn’t 26-year-old Khloe, it’s of her 14-year-old half-sister Kendall Jenner. Proving once again that we’re elderly “get-off-my-lawn” types, we just don’t think this is right to see this much boob from a fourteen-year-old.

The shot (along with a gallery of fashion poses) was posted to Kim Kardashian‘s blog a few days ago, alongside a caption from Kim reading “The whole family is so proud of Kendall. Soooo much more to come!” How much more can there be? We’re already seeing a lot. We kid, (sort of). See, the Kardashian girls are most famous for three things: sex tapes (Kim), getting knocked up by a total dickhead (Kourtney), and obsessing over weight and having a whirlwind wedding (Khloe).

Now that they’re prepping young Kendall to walk in their footsteps, we’d love for her to do something that’s not a total Hollywood cliché that makes women seem like overly sexual, vapid a**holes. From the photo shoot we can tell she is absolutely gorgeous, Kim is right to be proud of her little sis, but releasing serious cleavage shots of an adolescent girl is just creepy, that’s just how we were (primly and prudishly) raised. Hell, seeing this makes Miley Cyrus and Taylor Momsen (who are both 17) look downright mature and adult. Are we wrong here, is this kind of attention just the norm now and we’re just an old maid or what?

[Photo: Kim Kardashian/Celebuzz]


Khlomar Gets Their Own Reality Show

Lamar Odom Khloe Kardashian

Reality celeb Khloe Kardashian and NBA champion Lamar Odom are obviously not worried about any reality show curse ending their marriage! A source tells Gossip Cop that they’ve got a new E! reality show in the works, which will be about Khloe and Lamar trying to get pregnant, settling into their new Tarzana, California home and perhaps the most intense: Khloe being a stepmom to Lamar’s two kids.

While Keeping Up With The Kardashians and Kourtney And Khloe Take Miami have not disappointed the concern of a Kardashian reality show overdose is legitimate, but more legitimate of a worry is the reality show marriage curse! The marriages of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro, Britney Spears and K-Fed (tell us you don’t remember Chaotic), and Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler all ended in divorce following their reality TV shows.

Khloe and Lamar: stop in the name of love!

[Photo: GettyImages]


Dear Kourtney Kardashian: Dump Scott Disick


Cops were called this weekend after Kourtney Kardashian’s baby daddy Scott Disick got into an argument over a parking job with his neighbor. Hmmm. Maybe Kourtney’s outspoken little sis Khloe had a point when she called him a “douche lord.” Scott, as we know, is no stranger to trouble.

For one, his erratic shenanigans on the Kardashian sisters’ reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians are endless and quite Spencer Pratt-esque. Let’s not forget Kim Kardashian’s last birthday in Las Vegas when Scott was so plastered that he shoved dollar bills into a waiter’s mouth because the waiter had been instructed by Kris Jenner to cut him off. Might we add he also did this after he had belligerently accused Rob Kardashian’s friend of being a hooker.

Fast forward months later to just this past week when Scott admitted in an interview with Ryan Seacrest that yes, he does have anger problems and struggles with alcohol. Um, duh! But apparently he can’t refrain from fighting over silly things like parking jobs.

Maybe this time, love won’t be so blind for Kourtney. Rumors are circulating that she may have moved out of their house with baby Mason. If this is the case, Kourtney, we applaud you! (Do you hear the clapping?)

The irony to all of this is that Khloe was the one forced into attending an anger management class for slapping Scott the “douche lord.” Now who seems like the wiser — and calmer! — one?

by (@missmuttoo)

Kourtney Kardashian’s 5-Month Old Son Gets Massages


Kourtney Kardashian’s son Mason is already clocking time in spas. Her BF Scott Disick took the 5-month-old baby for a massage this week. That’s one more massage than you got this week.

And apparently, that’s completely okay. Kristi McCarty, the director of the posh Turtle Cove Spa commented, “I would recommend massages for babies, just to keep their joints limber. Any kind of virus that might be lying around dormant can be worked out with gentle manipulation and massage. It’s also very soothing. Everyone needs human touch.” Turtle Cove has a full kiddie-focused spa menu including a “Spa Princess Package,” and even yoga!

Note that while baby massages are totally kosher for kids, the tykes only get kneaded for 30 minutes or less. With full ambiance of course. “The softer music is more calming,” says McCarty. “It brings down the blood pressure and helps soother.” Mason’s totally going to be a zen baby!

[Photo: Splash News Online]


Report: Khloe Kardashian Has An Odom In The Oven


We really can’t keep up with these Kardashians anymore, they’re always up to something. Today, Radar Online is reporting that Khloe Kardashian is two months pregnant. It would be Khloe’s first child, and hubby Lamar Odom‘s third.

The couple was married last September and the world is shocked that they’ve held it together this long after their whirlwind relationship. It’s also a little shocking that the pregnancy would be revealed this early on (and it should be pointed out that the family did not acknowledge the Radar report.) Apparently, Khloe is hoping to officially break the news of the pregnancy on Keeping Up With The Kardashians because that’s how that family rolls. Odom himself has expressed hesitation over having every important moment of their lives taped for posterit-E! (we just made that up, can you tell?) so we’ll see how this season/birth/it’s all interchangeable plays out.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

Kim’s Life Is One Big Poolside Vacation

Kim Kardashian

Apparently Kim Kardashian has a career where she does stuff to earn actual paper money (Monopoly money doesn’t count). What that career entails we aren’t sure, because the girl spends most of her time staging fake photo shoots at various pools around the greater Miami area. Seriously – who sits like this, ever? The last time we were poolside we covered ourselves in SPF 45 and hid under an Old Navy straw hat while we prayed no one noticed our bathing suit was from our high school days. Kim Kardashian makes us hate ourselves.

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[Photo: Splash News Online]