Everyone get into the parking lot! There’s about to be a fight…over the equitable distribution of property and debt! Well, hopefully not, but that’s our first impression after finding out that Kris Humphries is seeking an annulment, rather than a divorce, from his erstwhile wife Kim Kardashian. After news got out that the NBA player was filing for legal separation, Humphries’ rep confirmed to Us Weekly that Kris is hoping a separation will lead to an annulment of their 72-day-long marriage, an outcome he sees as preferable to entering into potentially messy divorce proceedings. If a judge grants the couple an annulment, their marriage would be considered void; grounds for an annulment can range from anything from fraud (hmmm) to bigamy (we can only dream!). We’re assuming Kim isn’t particularly interested in a separation or else she would have, you know, filed for that instead. We could be wrong to smell trouble, but in the meantime…everyone take out your earrings and Vas up your face. Just in case!
In the latest issue of Us Weekly, sources close to Kim Kardashian paint Kris Humphries in a pretty terrible light. “He belittled her in front of people,” a source reportedly told the magazine. “He’d call her stupid. It was truly sickening.” He also allegedly called Kim “fat ass.”
The report set off some alarm bells in our head. Especially after we watched the promo for the new season of Kourtney & Kim Take New York. “Your wife has to find out your in a different country on Twitter,” Kim scoldingly tells Kris, after a number of scenes of him and Kourtney‘s man Scott Disick partying. “If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be,” Kourtney says. We don’t know if they’re talking about Kim and Kris’ marriage in that clip, but we have also heard, via RadarOnline, that the show will paint Kim as a “victim” this season. And this decision was supposedly made after Kim saw all of the footage shot during their brief time together.
It’s brutal out there for celebrity couples these days! With recent splits like Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, alt-throbs Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel, Jersey Shore’s Sammi and Ronnie, and now Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, it would be easier to name the couples who HAVE weathered the storm than those headed to Splitville. So to restore everyone’s faith in love, we’ve decided to do just that and show you 20 celebrity couples who’ve been together for over 20 years! Put on some appropriate tunes, and then check out the gallery below to see who’s been together the longest!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Weeks after her marriage to Kris Humphries, and weeks before her divorce from him, Kim Kardashian was interviewed for the cover story of the December issue of Marie Claire. If she were anyone else in the world, we think she’d be regretting that move. But she’s Kim Kardashian, so we imagine she’ll take it all in stride, still laughing all the way to the bank. Anyway, here are quotes that we’d be embarrassed about:
» On why she and Kris got married so quickly: “We felt like, ‘Why wait?’ It’s fun to have a partner who understands your life and lets you be you.”
» On the state of their marriage: “I feel like where we’re at right now is the best time in my life.”
“All week we’ve just been crying and crying and posing and crying and …,” Nasim Pedrad whined, playing Kim Kardashian in SNL‘s hilarious spoof of “Kim’s Fairytale Divorce” over the weekend. Our stomachs still hurt from laughing. But seriously, folks. We’re not sure if Nasim can match the real-life posing Kim did in front of husband-for-now Kris Humphries‘ house in Minnesota on Sunday.
She was photographed standing on his back porch, looking distressed while talking on her cell. Here’s the thing: We know the impulse to step outside when you want a minute alone to talk on the phone, especially after a fight with someone inside the house. But that is a big freaking house. There are many rooms in which she could probably talk in private. And obviously, if you’re Kim Kardashian, you know there are paparazzi outside, ready to catch your every gesture. So, color us cynical, but that phone call seems a little much.
Talk about adding insult to injury. The New York Post noticed today that Kim Kardashian has unfollowed Kris Humphries on Twitter, even though he’s still following her. To be fair, his last post was on October 30, so maybe he’s just avoiding social-networking, or all Web activity, while he heals his broken heart. Don’t worry, Kris. Once you get back on your feet and embark on one of these promising new careers, you’ll have plenty of new loyal followers.
Interestingly, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher raised eyebrows in September when they apparently unfollowed each other in the wake of his alleged jacuzzi dalliance — practically confirming the story. But we wonder, do most people unfollow their recent exes? Or is it better to keep tabs on them, just in case? Well, you tell us:
[Photo: Splash News Online]
It’s official: Kris Humphries could not keep up with the Kardashians. We’re sure you’ve heard by now that Kim Kardashian is divorcing him after 72 days of marriage. We guess she started feeling the old Two-and-a-Half-Month Itch. But that’s just the start of Kris’ troubles, because he’s also out of work! After becoming a “free agent” on the advice of soon-to-be-ex-momager Kris Jenner, chances are good that he won’t get signed in time to participate in the 2011-2012 NBA season. This leaves him both single and unemployed, and a prenup ensures that he won’t see a dime of Kim’s reality show millions.
But Kris fans shouldn’t fear, because the kind folks at Chippendales have stepped in! The male dancing organization has asked the former Mr. Kardashian to fill their celebrity MC spot at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas, a position formerly held by 98 Degrees singer Jeff Timmonds. Despite the stunning legacy, there’s no word on whether or not Kris will take Chippendales up on their offer. Even if he doesn’t, we’re sure Kris will land on his feet. We can think of dozens of job opportunities available to the former ball player as the result of his marriage and subsequent public heartbreaking. Keep your chin up, Kris, and remember: When one door closes, another one opens. Check out the gallery below and see what we mean!
[Photo: Getty Images]
When Kris Jenner stopped by satellite radio station Shade 45′s Sway in the Morning show today (to promote her book, Kris Jenner … And All Things Kardashian), she did her best to set the record straight about daughter Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries. She used her best soothing, motherly voice, but that didn’t hide the protective mama-bear tone of her words.
“The misconception that’s so annoying in the media and the press is that the wedding was a sham and she did it for the money,” Kris told Sway. “Kim didn’t make any money off of this wedding. She didn’t make 5 cents off of the wedding. She spent millions of dollars of her own money on a wedding.”
Did anything else happen in the world yesterday? Kim Kardashian’s divorce announcement was pretty much all we could pay attention to, so you’ll have to fill us in on any other news. The gossip hounds were busy gathering rumors why her marriage to Kris Humphries lasted only 72 days. Here’s a roundup of everything we know, or think we know, so far:
» Kim left with Khloe and Lamar Odom for Australia, where the sisters were already scheduled to promote their handbag line. Kim wasn’t wearing a ring.
» Kris doesn’t seem to have been in on Kim’s decision. He was photographed wearing his ring yesterday, and his statement sounds pretty shocked, “I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce,” he said in a statement. “I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents.”
» Kim agonized over the decision to file all weekend long, sources told TMZ.
» Kris reportedly hired a Hollywood publicist over the weekend to help work on his branding.
» Kris and Kim had been fighting over his desire to move to Minnesota eventually. A promo for Kourtney and Kim Take New York shows this stinging exchange: “How am I going to have my career and live in Minnesota?” she asks. And he replies, “Baby, by the time you have kids and they’re in school, no one will care about you.”
Looks like Kim Kardashian’s divorce from Kris Humphries is now official. “After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage,” Kim said in a statement to E! News. “I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.” Meanwhile, new hubby Kris sounds a lot less thrilled about the announcement, saying in a statement, “I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce … I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.” They still had that new marriage smell, too!
While Kim and Kris might be ready to sign those divorce papers only 72 days after their nuptials, they are nowhere near the first celebrity couple to bail out of their wedded bliss just weeks or months after walking down the aisle. From Mario Lopez to Britney Spears, Liz Taylor to Lisa Marie Presley, let’s look back at our favorite shortest Hollywood marriages:
[Photo: Getty Images]