Does any young woman scream “forlorn street urchin” louder than one Ms. Taylor Swift? We didn’t think so. To the disappointment of all you Lea Michele and Evan Rachel Wood fans out there, rumor has it that Taylor Swift has been offered the role of Eponine in the upcoming Les Miserables movie. Instead of mourning her unrequited love of John Mayer, she’ll be mourning her unrequited love of the as-yet-uncast Marius. Plus she gets to be in drag! And go to war! Ugh, so deliciously full of despair.
Amanda Seyfried has also allegedly been offered the role of heartbreaking foundling Cosette, making Swift her direct romantic rival. And you know how well Taylor does with a rival! We’re calling it now: they will add a new Taylor Swift song to the soundtrack, which will be nominated for Best Original Song at the Oscars in 2013, and we will listen to it and pretend we aren’t crying into our scarf on the subway.
Since Celebrity Deathmatch sadly remains a fictional show, we’ll have to figure out who should be cast in the upcoming Les Miserablesmovie, co-starring Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman, the old-fashioned way: based solely on our personal opinion! Oh, and talent and singing ability, too. We guess.
The New York Postreported today that everyone and their hotter older sister are currently up for the role of the tragic love-lorn Eponine: Glee‘s Lea Michele, Taylor Swift, Scarlett Johansson and Evan Rachel Wood. In addition to being a convincing doe-eyed heroine, Lea actually starred as young Cosette in the Broadway version of the musical. However, the Glee actress faces the same problem as Taylor Swift: you know they’d kill their big number “On My Own,” but would you buy them getting mortally wounded on the barricade while dressed in drag? (Sorry if that detail needed a spoiler alert; the book came out in 1862.) ScarJo admittedly has both the chops and the pipes necessary, but our money is on Evan Rachel Wood. She just looks like she belongs in tuberculosis-ridden 19th-century France. Who would you pick?
The musical theater nerd inside her must be scuh-reaming right now. You know, in addition the one on the outside. EW reports that we may soon see Anne Hathway in Les Miserables, belting it out as Fantine, mother to moppet Cosette, in the film version of the musical. Hathaway’s character must rely on the help of Hugh Jackman‘s Jean Valjean, which we’re hoping means they are singing each other congratulations over the phone right…now.
It’s only been two years since Hathaway and Jackman showed off their pipes in a duet at the 2009 Oscars, and just a few shorts months since Anne awkwardly sang “On My Own” to Hugh during her Oscars hosting gig. $10 says the Les Mis producers heard her version of the song from the musical-turned-movie and decided to hire her. $10 also says that we’ll also never actually find that out for sure.
Must remember Jonas Brothers’ purity ring, must remember Jonas Brothers’ purity ring. That’s probably playing in a loop in Nick Jonas‘s head. The youngest JoBro is honing his acting chops as Marius in the musical Les Miserables in London. Hit musical is a hit with ladies, it seems, because Lil Nicky’s totally playing the field.
The youngest Jonas has been on dates with both the female leads, and has all the other women cast members swooning over him too. Lucie Jones, who plays Cosette, and Samantha Barks, who is Eponine, have both been on the receiving end of Nick’s charms. A source busted him saying, “Nick is getting a reputation as a heart-breaker. He’s been out on dates with both Samantha and Lucie and they both seem quite smitten. Nick’s just having fun – but he’s causing some tension between the girls.There’s been a lot of jokes backstage because art is imitating life. In the musical Eponine fancies Marius. But he ends up with Cosette.”