Life + Times

by (@hallekiefer)

Gwyneth Interviews BFF Jay-Z About His Fabulous Taste

They always say you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friends nose, because they already have a full-time employee who’s job is doing only that. Earlier today Gwyneth Paltrow interviewed Jay-Z for her lifestyles site GOOP, and immediately afterward Jay-Z interviewed Gwyneth on his new man-GOOP site Life + Times. Jay-Z and Gwyneth’s friendship has always been a thing of wonder, but this time they take it to a whole new level. In her interview, titled “Straight Outta Compton?”, the rap superstar tells his bestie that he’s “very surprised at your extensive knowledge of hip-hop songs. Particularly how you can sing ’90s hip-hip songs word for word. I can’t even do that!,” while Gwyneth reps Biggie Smalls over Tupac: “Biggie by miles.” Jay-Z and Gwyn then wrote mash notes and had a pillow fight on 800-count Egyptian cotton sheets.

Meanwhile over on GOOP, you could tell Paltrow was practically weaving a friendship bracelet from newborn emu leather as she gushed about the fabulous Mr. Carter. “As someone who has walked through museums with you, eaten with you, heard music with you, I know firsthand how creativity in all areas lifts your consciousness,” she raves. Maybe after they’re done high-fiving for a thousand years, Jay-Z and Gwyn can sing a duet of  Cee-Lo’s new song “Friend You,” then inhale each other’s farts out of $2,000 crystal cognac snifters. Friends 4 Eva!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Jay-Z Lauches Website For Coveted Middle-Aged Superstar Demographic

Oh man, this is like Gwyneth Paltrow‘s GOOP all over again. Is Jay-Z going to have to go on Glee to show that he is of the people too? Ryan Murphy better get his “99 problems/99 Luft Balloons” mash-up ready, because Jay-Z’s lifestyle website Life + Times launched today, and it seems strictly for the $2 million Bugatti luxury car set. The site, managed by Hova’s team of writers and trend spotters, features pieces on modern Brazilian photographers, a profile of Belgian couture hat designer, and, of course, a $1,588 men’s shaving kit with a silvertip badger brush. We wish this was a parody of how the wealthy enjoy their money, but deliciously it is not.

The only thing Jay-Z blogged himself so far is a lovely picture of cloud, which probably isn’t enough to distract people from the insane decadency filling every other page. So since Gwyneth’s career eventually branched out from GOOP to a recording contract, is Jay-Z going to have to do the reverse and appear in a Shakespeare In Love remake? Please say yes, World.

[Photo: Getty Images]