by (@hallekiefer)

Pitbull Was Just Trying To Keep Lindsay Lohan “Relevant” With Those Jail Lyrics

See guys, it was all just a misunderstanding: it turns out that Pitbull’s Lindsay Lohan lyrics were actually an homage the actress, not a joke about how’s she’s spent more time behind bars than a parakeet. So if Lindsay could call off her lawsuit, that’d be great. “I was very surprised when I found out about the lawsuit … at first I read it and I thought, ”his has got to be a joke,'” the rapper explained in a video for his official fan site. “For me mentioning it … on the number one record in the world … I thought it would be helping someone’s career and keeping them relevant.” It might have made Lindsay more relevant to give a shout-out to her excellent acting abilities or impressive sobriety, but maybe he was saving that for the next album.

Lindsay Lohan’s Pitbull lawsuit focuses on the rapper’s lyric, “I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan” in the song “Give Me Everything,” which, to be fair, seems more like a factual statement than an insult. The suit also cites the song’s writers Ne-Yo and Afrojack, citing New York civil rights law that prevents people’s names from being exploited for commercial gain. Maybe Pitbull can pen an apology song titled “That Lindsay Lohan Sure Has Had A Legal Trouble A Lot, Am I Right?” just so Lilo can know how relevant he thinks she is.

by (@hallekiefer)

Jay-Z Regrets Big Pimpin’ Lyrics: “What Kind Of Animal Would Say This Sort Of Thing?”


If you were an internationally renown rapper with millions of dollars and a wife by the name of Beyonce, you would probably be pretty happy with your artistic choices, right? But apparently Jay-Z regrets Big Pimpin’, his 1999 monster hit, for its unfortunate lyrics, an admission that retroactively spoils hundreds of Spring Breaks the nation over.

Says Jay-Z, “Some [lyrics] become really profound when you see them in writing. Not Big Pimpin’. That’s the exception. It was like, I can’t believe I said that. And kept saying it. What kind of animal would say this sort of thing? Reading it is really harsh.” Given that Jay-Z is older, wiser and madly in love with a talented bad-ass like Bee, lyrics such as “You know I thug em, f**k em, love em, leave em/Cause I don’t f**king need em,” probably seem like the height of douchebaggery. Then again, we all danced to it, so what does that say about us? Oh right, that we’re douche bags too.

Looking back with distaste at his verse, however, is only a symptom of a bigger issue. Says Jay-Z, “We have to find our way back to true emotion. This is going to sound so sappy, but love is the only thing that stands the test of time. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill was all about love. Andre 3000, The Love Below. Even NWA, at its core, that was about love for a neighborhood.” So is the world ready for a kinder, gentler Jay-Z, with lyrics about visiting the in-laws and throwing his grandma a birthday party? Oh, who are we kidding? With beats like his, Hov could read his grocery list and a spontaneous wet t-shirt contest could still break out at any moment. At ANY moment. [Photo: Getty Images]