Machete

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FABLife’s DVD Picks Of The Week

Machete & The Last Exorcism

The year begins with two smart twists on film genre. Machete grew out of a trailer in Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez‘s tribute to ’70s exploitation Grindhouse. As a full-length feature, it’s a sugar-addicted ADD kid on the rampage, giddily lurching from one guilty pleasure to the next, whether it’s a man playing Tarzan with someone’s entrails or Jessica Alba in the shower. Danny Trejo, his pock-marked face familiar from a hundred straight-to-DVD slam-bangers, is the Mexican superhero who takes up blades against a trio of villains that includes Don Johnson‘s sh*tkicker and an anti-immigration senator mugged furiously by Robert De Niro. To say that Stephen Seagal gives the performance of a lifetime may sound like damning with faint praise, but like everything else in this five-alarm flick, it’s something to see.

The Last Exorcism would seem like a Blair Witch wannabe if it wasn’t so smart about character. A professional exorcist hopes to expose the theatre at the heart of his profession by ridding a bayou farm girl of her “demons.” What at first seems like a confrontation between two fakers haunted by worldlier spirits turns out to be much more. The mockumentary format serves the scares well, especially when the troubled girl drags the camera into the Satanic action, and Patrick Fabian and Ashley Bell would deserve award notice if the world wasn’t so easily blinded by stuttering kings.

Extras: Machete has deleted scenes and an “audience reaction” track. Viewers will have to bring their own Tecate six-pack. The Last Exorcism includes a pair of commentary tracks, a making of featurette and an extended segment on real-life exorcisms.

- By C. Bottomley

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Lindsay Lohan Was There In Spirit At The Machete Premiere

Lindsay Lohan may be fresh out of rehab, but that doesn’t mean she’s allowed to socialize just yet. Poor Lilo had to stay home last night while the rest of the cast from her latest flick, Machete, got to party at the film’s premiere. But some of her co-stars had kind things to say about her, despite her recent troubles. Awww!

Jessica Alba told People, “Lindsay is so good in the movie, and I can’t wait for her to see it. It’s awesome. She’s great. I’m very proud.” And Danny Trejo, who plays the film’s title character, was even more supportive, saying “Lindsay’s gonna be cool. She knows it. I know it. You know, she got in a little trouble, and now she’s had a little time to put her head together. She’ll be alright. We’ll pick her up again.”

Check out all the film’s stars and  their sweet rides in our gallery.

[Photos: Getty Images/]

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The 12 Sexiest Movies You Should See This Summer (And Follow With A Cold Shower)

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June is just around the corner, which means hot temps, the occasional sunburn, and a major influx of movie releases. Many of us will beat the heat by noshing on some popcorn in a overly-air conditioned theater, but in the sea of blockbuster hopefuls, what’s worth our $12.50? What packs the heat, without causing pit stains? Considering the sex appeal of the stars, steaminess of the story, and cling of the wardrobe, we’re counting down a dozen flicks that’ll sizzle the summer months, from lukewarm to piping hot.

12. Sex and the City 2, May 27th: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, and Kristin Davis hit the Middle East in 5-inch heels, high-slitted designer dresses, and sparkly turbans. Beefcake and baby-less Aiden returns to tempt Mrs. Big.

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