Before you rush down into your Channing Tatum bunker (fully equipped with both Step Up and Step Up 2: The Streets, white undershirts you bought from a reliable pervert on Craigslist and a water filtration system) to wait out the duration of Chan’s potential break from acting, remember this: you might not even notice he’s gone! “[Writing partner Reid Carolin and I] have about three to four ideas that we love that are all in the hopper. By the end of next year, we’re going to shut things down and write the first thing that we’re going to direct,” the Magic Mike actor told Entertainment Weekly. “We’re going to be like, alright, no more acting parts for a minute, let’s take a few and really get caring about that section of our career.” A quick check of the actor’s IMDB page, however, reassures us that we have months, if not years, of upcoming Channing Tatum movies to tide us over. And with hologram technology advancing at its current rate, we may never having to go Chan-less again!
Tatum, who is currently working on both a Magic Mike sequel and a potential Evel Knievel biopic with Reid, is scheduled to star in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Side Effects, White House Down and the currently filming Foxcatcher, a drama about “John du Pont, who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and killed Olympic wrestler David Schultz,” in the upcoming year. After that, Tatum is slated to star in sci-fi flick Jupiter Ascending for 2014, and we’re betting one lengthy text from Jonah Hill is all it would take to get Channing on a jet to the as-yet unscheduled 21 Jump Street 2 table read. Moreover, Tatum is also signed on as the lead in the upcoming romantic thriller The Contortionist’s Handbook. We guess what we’re saying is…let us prepare ourselves now for the Great Tatum Drought of 2015. Though can anyone truly prepare themselves for such horror? That woman in the lower left hand corner of the photo knows what we’re talking about.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Channing Tatum has recently been dropping a boatload of Axe Body Spray-scented hints regarding the form and format of the inevitably Magic Mike sequel. For example, so far we know Magic Mike 2 may or may not be a “broad road comedy” in which Tatum and company “flip the script and make it bigger.” Intriguing! According to Chan’s interview with Vulture this weekend, we now know that the first Magic Mike movie will look like a student film (about stripping A-listers) in comparison. “We’ve thought about directing Magic Mike 2, and we’re still thinking about it, and we want to do that,” Channing said of his plans with producing partner Reid Carolin. “We want to do the sequel. It’s too good of a movie, and the characters are so crazy, that we want to go for it. We feel like we did the little indie version this last time, and for the next one, we want to up the stakes a little, maybe go even farther.” Good thing we’re not eating right now, because we cannot stop inhaling with surprised delight!
Of course, far be it from Channing to immediately try to stand on the shoulders of giants, especially if said giants just made a very successful male exotic dance movie. “Reid and I aren’t idiots! We’re not going to direct our first movie as a sequel to a Steven Soderbergh movie. That’s not smart,” Tatum laughed. “I want to start with something very small … make a lot of mistakes, make them real early, and then go jump in [on Magic Mike 2].” While Channing probably has a specific movie in mind to fumble around on, we don’t know what that might be, so we’re going to offer some helpful films suggestions for Chan to get out of the way before returning to the sweet, sweet booty-shaking hero’s journey that is Magic Mike 2. Films like:
Road trip! Naked, drunken road trip! Try to keep your 2013 calender open, because it looks like both The Hangover Part III and Magic Mike 2 are going to be road movies. “This time, there’s no wedding. No bachelor party. What could go wrong, right? But when the Wolfpack hits the road, all bets are off,” ComingSoon reports as the movie’s official plot description. The Hangover Part III seems like it would easily translate into a road movie (Ed Helms is definitely getting left in a filthy rest stop bathroom) and the format would work for the plot Zach Galifianakis allegedly spilled last year (in which the threequel “ditches the format of the first two and focuses on his character escaping from a mental institution with help from the wolf pack.”), but for stripping? We just don’t know, ya’ll.
According to a recent interview with German site Filmstarts in which certified genius Channing Tatum offers himself up as a potential Magic Mike 2 director, the film’s co-writer Reid Carolin allegedly describes the plot as a “broad road trip comedy.” Based on comments from Joe Manganiello back in June, it also looks like the film is going to be a prequel. So how is that going to work? Are the guys going to learn to strip at seedy roadside bars? Are they going to wear painfully outdated clothes from 2002 in order for the continuity to make sense aaaaaaand we’re back on board! Wooooooo hooooo! Sexy, flared jeans road trip!
[Photo: Lionsgate/ Getty Images]