by (@hallekiefer)

Frank Ocean Had Such A Good Year, He Was Bound To Be Busted For Smoking And Speeding Soon

Frank Ocean Citing For Marijuane, Speeding

Oh Frank Ocean. After you dropped your critically acclaimed debut album, sang at the VMAs and came out on Tumblr, only to have celebs like Beyonce go out of their way to support you, thus proving that there is some shred of goodness left in the world, it’s no wonder you thought you were on a long-term winning streak. Your utterly amazing 2012 is also probably the reason you were cocky and/or foolish enough to drive 90mph in a 65mph zone while smoking pot. You’re like the new Icarus, Frank. You flew too high on wings of weed! Which would actually explain the legend of Icarus…

According to TMZ, the “Bad Religion” singer was pulled over in Mono County, California on New Year’s Eve for speeding in his BMW. The arrested officer noticed the vehicle smelled like like the set of a Harold & Kumar sequel, and promptly found marijuana in Ocean’s possession. Frank was cited for “marijuana possession, driving on a suspended license, and tinted windows,” in addition to having his license revoked. We say just shake it off, Frank. We were kidding about the Icarus stuff! We have no interest in watching you serve jail time or plummet it out of the sky or any of that stuff this coming year.

p[Photo:Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

We Can Name 5 Gaga Moments More Scandalous Than Her Pot Smoking Vid Off The Top Of Our Heads

Some people on the Interweb are getting their monocles in a twist over the fact that Lady Gaga may have smoked a little pot on stage in Amsterdam last week. To which we say: where have you been for the past three to four years? Sex, blood, violence, butts, more butts: if it offends someone’s grandma, chances are Gaga has done it, in public, recently. We know it’s not exactly fair to compare actual drug use to simulated violence/sexing (or butts), but is it anymore eye brow-raising than…

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by (@hallekiefer)

Wiz Khalifa Busted For…Oh Come On, You Know What He Was Busted For

According to TMZ, Wiz Khalifa was busted for marijuana possession because of course he was. This is Wiz Khalifa we’re talking about! He’s making a stoner comedy…with Snoop Dogg! How many other people on the planet have a seven minute joint rolling tutorial on YouTube? Huh? Okay, probably a lot, but Wiz is certainly one of them!

Amber Rose‘s man has never been shy about his overwhelming love of ganja, at least not if his Instagrams have anything to say about it. While staying at a Holiday Inn in Nashville, Tennessee, police reportedly showed up to the rapper’s room after a fellow patron complained about the intense smell of marijuana, a feature which was almost certainly not mentioned in the Holiday Inn brochure. When confronted by the authorities, Wiz allegedly “tossed” a bag of weed in an attempt to hide it, but of course police located it. Wiz just…threw a bag of marijuana somewhere? Unless he could throw it onto a moving train, that plan was clearly not going to pan out. Luckily for Wiz, he only ended up with a citation. Hmnm, maybe this happened on 4/20 and the police were feeling generous? Or maybe they were feeling generous because they got to meet Wiz Khalifa? Yeah, it was definitely one of the two!

[Photo: Twitter]

by (@hallekiefer)

Robin Thicke Busted For Pot Possession

In case you were wondering whether singer Robin Thicke‘s buttery smoothness was natural or herbally-enhanced…well, this doesn’t really clarify anything, does it? It does, however, shed light on what he does to relax, seeing as how cops busted the singer as he sparked up in a Cadillac Escalade on East 21st Street in Manhattan this afternoon. We can’t say we took Thicke for a huge ganja fan, though we guess that does explain why he went on that diatribe about Paul Patton’s orgasms in Essence back in December. That was not the rational decision of a lucid mind!

Robin joins a recent grab bag of celebs who’ve been arrested for marijuana possession since the new year, including Snoop Dogg and Mirror, Mirror star Armie Hammer. According to TMZ, Thicke was allegedly polite, even signing a few autographs during his arrest. Thankfully the singer was soon released. The man cannot live without his silk pajamas and cognac, and we are 99% those are contraband in prison.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Armie Hammer Manages To Look Charming Even In Mugshots

We can forgive the dodgy looking shirt and the popped collar because this is one of the nicest celebrity mugshots we’ve ever seen! There is absolutely nothing sordid about this picture of Armie Hammer. Why would anyone put this sweet, smiling man into jail, right? Armie was arrested and jailed for one night in Sierra Blanca, Texas, for pot possession last November. He was busted with three medicinal pot cookies and one brownie by drug-sniffing dogs at a border patrol checkpoint. We’ve checked out some nazzty mugshots in our time, but this is the absolute opposite of everything we’ve seen. Plus, we know he’s not exactly a hardened criminal, so we have no qualms in appreciating his aesthetics.

Related: <em>Mirror, Mirror’s Lily Collins And Armie Hammer Play Tricks On Us
[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Armie Hammer Busted For Pot Possession In Texas

The Social Network? More like The Stoner Network! Eh? The Stoned Ranger? Yeah, we’re happy with that one. TMZ reports that Mirror, Mirror actor Armie Hammer was arrested for pot possession back on November 30. The time delay suggests to us that Armie’s publicist has been hustling to keep this incident out of the news. Unfortunately, our hunger for embarrassing celebrity stories cannot be satisfied. Might we even say we have the “munchies” for humiliating celeb news? No? Alrighty then.

The Lone Ranger star was reportedly found with three medicinal pot cookies and one brownie by drug-sniffing dogs at a border patrol checkpoint. The arrest was made in Sierra Blanca, Texas, the same town where Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson have been busted for the same giggle-inducing crime. As a result, Hammer spent a one single day in jail. Let’s just hope his fellow prisoners were big Reefer fans. Because Armie was on that CW show Reaper? We are trying so hard to please you.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Snoop Dogg Arrested In Texas. You Know What For.

Snoop Dogg was arrested in Texas this weekend after it was discovered that he was running a massive Ponzi scheme, a nefarious plot by which he was defrauding dozens of investors out of millions of dollars. Just kidding! Ugh, we cannot keep a straight face! While Snoop didn’t Bernie Madoff anyone, he did get arrested for marijuana possession in Texas this weekend. TMZ reports that border patrol dogs in the Texas town of Sierra Blanca sniffed out some of the wacky tabaccky aboard Snoop’s tour bus, which lead to a citation for misdemeanor possession. Hoo boy, but really. The look on your face. Just priceless.

While he was arrested, Snoop Dogg did not get taken into custody and, per his Twitpics, spent the rest of the weekend in San Antonio at the U.S. Army All-American Bowl. As if Snoop would commit a crime that didn’t involve him laughing hysterically, eating so much pizza and falling asleep on a pile of coats. As if.

by (@unclegrambo)

The Top 25 Fictional Stoners In Cinematic History

While the negative effects of smoking marijuana have been portrayed on film for over seventy years, the current age of stoner-friendly cinema can largely be credited to one Judd Apatow. As the unofficial ringleader of the Frat Pack, he wrote, directed and produced a veritable bumper crop of pro-Mary Jane films over the last half-dozen years or so. Films like Knocked Up, Pineapple Express and Superbad worked very hard to smash the stigma that the Reagan administration attached to the cannabis plant, and their tremendous success at the box office unquestionably played a role (albeit, likely, a minor one) in the “Legalize It” movement that is slowly gaining steam in both Red and Blue states.

Although Apatow had nothing to do with this weekend’s release of the latest entrant in the stoner-friendly canon, the medieval fantasy Your Highness (get it?), we here at TheFABLife figured now is as good a time as any to countdown our all-time, Top 25 fictional stoners in cinematic history. From the trailblazing likes of Cheech Marin to the nonsense-spewing Jay of Clerks fame, from the highly paranoid/confessional behavior of Nicole Kidman’s character in Eyes Wide Shut to the perpetually buzzed Wooderson in Dazed and Confused, we hope you enjoy this look at cinema’s most baked characters, maaaaaan!

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Natalie Portman Admits She Was A Stoner In College

It seems … interesting … that an actress fresh off an Academy Award win for a dark, disturbing drama would immediately jump into two stoner comedies, but Natalie Portman is doing just that. Not only is she starring in Your Highness, which opens this week, but she’s also producing and starring in a female buddy comedy called Best Buds, the name of which about says it all. Portman admits that the doobie-ous (get it?) subject matter of these two films is something she has some real life experience with.

She tells Entertainment Weekly, “I love stoner comedies. I smoked weed in college, but I haven’t smoked in years.” We sort of love Portman’s honesty—first she divulged a little too much about her sex life in her Golden Globe acceptance speech, and now this. Portman, who is pregnant, added that she’s changed and doesn’t do that sort of thing anymore. “I’m too old,” she said.
“I wish I was that cool, but I’m like an old lady now. I’m in bed by 10 p.m. I can’t do that anymore.” Us too, Natalie. Us too.

[Photo: Getty Images]


Whoopi Goldberg Talks About Smoking Weed Before Her 1991 Oscar Win

Whoopi Goldberg has never been shy about her past drug use, but TMZ has unearthed a recording of Goldberg from 1992 admitting that she smoked a “wonderful joint” just before the Oscar ceremony where she won for Best Supporting Actress in 1991 for Ghost.

During a recording session for he 1992 film The Pagemaster, Whoopi talked about how she smoked her own homegrown weed just before heading to the ceremony. “Honey, when he said my name and I popped up, I though ‘Oh, f—!” Whoopi explained. While Whoopi’s acceptance speech didn’t seem all that unusual, it was obvious to at least one person that she has been under the influence. “My mother called me and said ‘You smoked, didn’t  you? Your eyes were just glistening.'” Whoopi said. The full recording and Whoopi’s acceptance speech are over on TMZ. We’re sure Elisabeth Hasselbeck is all out of sorts over this today.

[Photo: Getty Images]