Mayan Apocalypse

by (@shalapitcher)

Honey Boo Boo, Chris Brown And Panem: 10 Signs The Mayan Apocalypse Really Should Happen Now

Chris Brown's tattoo, Honey Boo Boo-inspired porn among the 10 reasons the world should just end already

So folks at NASA and archaeologists and real news reporters are trying to tell everyone to simmer down about the apocalypse coming on December 21, because of science and stuff. But we’re beginning to suspect differently. Even if the Mayans themselves didn’t think the end of the 13th baktun (things we’ve learned this week!) didn’t actually meant the end of the world, we’ve noticed some signs that really, we should just give up and retreat to our bunkers right now. Let us count down our top 10:

Gossip Girl

10. Gossip Girl was Dan Humphrey all along! (And also, everyone on the island was dead!) Oof. The resolutions of series-long mysteries are never as good as we want them to be, probably much like the answers to life’s big questions. Bleh.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

9. All the hip-hop greats are running corporations, starring on reality-TV shows or dating the stars of reality-TV shows. Not that they shouldn’t trade thug life for the good life, but did they have to sell their artistic souls in the process?
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