Piers Morgan Strips For Burgers

Hold your breakfasts down, people. Piers Morgan wants to show you his chest hair. The not-exactly-buff British TV talent show judge shows David Beckham just how to do the topless modelling thing in this new ad for a Burger King scent called “Flame” — although the phrase “fake publicity stunt” is ringing loudly in our ears.

Posing seductively before an open fire, any woman would find it hard to resist a man covering his modesty with a velvet drape, wearing a large medallion around his manly torso, and smelling of fast food. (Heave!) One extra thought: What did he look like before the airbrush? [Photo: Crispin Porter  Bogusky/Burger King]


Kate Moss To Write Autobiography


Kate Moss is finally going to open up and speak at length about her scandalous life. The notoriously silent-with-the-press supermodel has signed a deal with Virgin Books to pen her autobiography, and this prospect has us salivating in excitement. Johnny Depp! The Primrose Hill set scandals! The Pete Doherty drug years! Going to rehab! Johnny Depp (again)!

But apparently, it’s not going to be a warts-and-all confession, just something to “set the record straight, but not betray any trust,” says Grazia mag. Boo. Still, Kate’s had enough drama in her life to make any book about her a must-read. She’s already cancelled one book deal a few years back, so we’re keeping fingers crossed she doesn’t change her mind. [Photo: Splash News Online]


Kate Moss Rocks A Hairy Shoulder


Fashion-wise, we know that for 2009, big hair is back, back, back. Big shoulders are back too. So what an insane inspired idea to combine the two in a never-seen-before fashion mash-up! Kate Moss models the new “hairy shoulders” that are sure to take off big on the cover of V magazine — and we can’t wait to see the Topshop version hit shelves soon! Hopefully they’ll come with their own brush and de-tangling conditioner to keep them in tip top shape. Let’s also hope that they don’t frizz up if you’re caught out in the rain. Brilliant. Ahem. [Photo: Mario Testino/V Magazine]


Mischa Gets Naked To Prove A Point


Much fuss has been made over Mischa Barton‘s weight recently — whether being criticized for having a healthier size or looking too skinny. So the actress (we think that’s what she still is) hit back in the only way celebrities know how — by taking her clothes off! She graces the May cover of UK Cosmopolitan and inside poses with her handy arm-bra to espouse her views on body image.

“The only way to be happy and be a more enjoyable person to be around is to embrace what you’ve got. Everyone has issues about their body, but I feel confident now. I’m healthy and happy,” she says. Good for you, love. ¬†Although we’d still listen to you fully-clothed. [Photo: Cosmopolitan/Roberto D’Este]


Letterman and O’Reilly Have Old Man Argument, No One Wins

David Letterman seems to get more cranky as the years go by and the comedy that results is nothing short of brilliant. If you’ve ever seen him deal with Spencer Pratt, you’d know he has no patience for self-important, unfunny people and the fact that he can cut people like Spencer down to size while making him laugh is amazing to watch. Last night Letterman had Bill O’Reilly on his show and Letterman had a hard time making O’Reilly laugh at anything, but their battle of wits was fascinating to watch because both men don’t back down off of anything.

When O’Reilly has been on the show in the past, Dave has said things like “60% of what you say is crap,” so it was no surprise that as soon as O’Reilly got to talking, Dave told him “I think of you as a goon” (watch here), and later Dave deadpanned “Yeahhh, you’re not that entertaining.” The guys discussed Rush Limbaugh’s success, with Letterman taking jabs at Limbaugh’s drug use and weight before O’Reilly, sick of having the conversation focused on someone besides himself, said, “Do you really think it’s nice to do that to Limbaugh? Why cheap shot the guy?” Our head almost exploded watching O’Reilly chastise someone for taking a cheap shot. We managed to sit through the whole thing (including O’Reilly actually wagging his finger at the audience and half-jokingly yelling at Dave to “let me finish!”) and we came out feeling kind of icky. Please Dave, have Amy Sedaris in a poofy dress on soon to wash the badness away! [Source: The Late Show]


Do Christian Fundamentalists Want To Stone Teen Who Drew Rooftop Penis?

We’re not sure if is real (we think not), but one of its bloggers is claiming that the English teen who drew a 60-foot penis on the rooftop of his parents’ $2 million mansion did so because he’s gay and wanted to rebel against being unaccepted. While his parents have condemned the 18-year-old boy to scrub the drawing off when he returns home from traveling in Brazil, Christwire is pining for a much, much harsher punishment.

I wish stoning was still legal, because I would love it if his parents tied his anus loving mouth to a stake and throw stones at his sin filled body until he stopped breathing. Then he could join Satan in hell!

After reading this over-the-top attack, you’re probably asking yourself if this is for reals. We’ve inspected Christwire, and it seems highly unlikely that the site is anything but an elaborate satire. Just look at some of its “Most Delivered” headlines:

  • I Am Extremely Terrified Of Chinese People – 1,494,702 views
  • Is It Ok For My Christian Daughter To Masturbate? – 801,987 views
  • G4TV Uses Games to Lurer Young Boys Into Sin – 515,482 views
  • Marvel Now Promotes Gay Agenda With Wolverine Toy – 347,520 views

Dear staffers of The Onion, come on out of the closet.


Cindy Crawford “Subtly” Reminds Us She’s Hot

Being 43 years old isn’t considered that old anymore, especially in Hollywood. As Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock put it, “Rich 50 is middle class 38,” which basically means celebs can get away with a lot more, for a lot longer these days. Cindy Crawford is 43 and is proudly showing herself off in the month’s Allure Magazine.

In one shot, she looks amazing and super hot, dressed in a black bathing suit (and tearing apart a loaf of bread, of course), but then there’s the Varsity-Blues-strategic-shaving-cream-placement shot that’s kind of insane and makes us think maybe there are limits to what you should do when you’re the mother of two.

We’re not trying to put the woman down, she looks amazing in every shot in the magazine – but a) think of the children (yours) and b) we kind of can’t tell where your ass cheek ends and your lady bits begin, Cindy, and that’s our biggest problem. We especially love the irony of the Allure sub-header “Looking good and feeling powerful at any age requires subtlety”. Indeed. [Photo: Allure Magazine]

More Cindy Crawford photos …


Banned Super Bowl Ads: Too Sexy For TV?

Spike has done us all a favor by aggregating years worth of Super Bowl commercials. We’re sure sociologists could break down the sum total of American culture by watching them. But here at Scandalist we’re interested in only one question: Are the following ads too dirty for prime time or proof that America is one big puritanical beast? Watch the videos below and let us know whether you agree with our logic.

GoDaddy’s Basic Instinct Girl: Ban-Worthy Or Puritanical?

Synopsis: GoDaddy gratuitously gives you a Basic Intinct-esque glimpse between the legs of a model while urging you to buy a new web domain. Sure, it’s dirty. But is it any dirtier than the average cheerleader routine? Mark this down in the “puritanical” column.

Miller Lite Lesbian Mud Fight: Ban-Worthy Or Puritanical?

Synopsis: Comical violence. Girl-on-girl kiss. This is definitely explicit. But an action-filled Sapphic satire does us all a little good sometimes, no? Maybe Scandalist staffers are perverted, but we think the only dirty aspect of this ad is the mud in the tub.

Read more…


Courteney Cox’s Face In Airbrushing Horror

It’s not a good sign when the first thought that enters your head on seeing a magazine cover is, “Oh no! When did Courteney Cox have a stroke?” But in the latest insane example of airbrushing a stunningly beautiful celebrity to look like a bizarre feature-proof alien, that’s what the British issue of Marie Claire makes us think. Either that, or someone made her wear a coat hanger in her mouth during the photoshoot.

Shame, really, as the interview inside the mag is — as promised, for once — a pretty juicy read. Courteney admits she has had Botox, is really worried about the aging and people not finding her attractive as she gets older, plus her plans for trying to have another baby. But still, the only thing we really take away with us is that DAMN STUPID PHOTOSHOPPED MOUTH. Gah.


Scarlett Johansson Threatens To Sue Cosmo, Bring Out New Album

My, Scarlett Johansson‘s having a busy week doling out the threats here, there and everywhere. Firstly, she’s got her knickers in a twist over the current issue of UK Cosmopolitan, claiming they ran quotes about her marriage to Ryan Reynolds that she never said. (To be honest, they’re so anodyne, we wouldn’t give a crap either way. Who cares if you REALLY uttered, “Ryan and I are in love and we’re enjoying our relationship together,” and “We’re like any other couple — we feel so fortunate to be together” as we’ve fallen asleep regardless?) And now she reckons we should all expect a second album from her in the future, after the underwhelming meh- huge success of her Tom Waits cover album earlier this year.

“I would love to do another album. I don’t think I’d do covers, so it’d be a project that I have to dedicate myself to. I feel like that’s something for the future,” she told MTV News.

Apparently, if she did have to do another cover, it would be of Leonard Cohen tracks. But please, Scarlett, please, no “Hallelujah”. Over in the UK, we’re already suffering from Hallelujah-itis, as X-Factor winner Alexandra Burke‘s version is set for No. 1 as the fastest download ever. And some smart aleck has also decided to re-release Jeff Buckley‘s version too, which is set for the No. 2 slot. We can’t take anymore meaningful, mournful songs. Please! [Photo: Splash News Online]