by (@katespencer)

CNN’s Kyra Phillips Drops The C-Bomb

Maybe it was a Freudian slip, or maybe Kyra Phillips just wanted to tell Republican strategist Leslie Sanchez how she really feels about her. Either way, Kyra turns a verbal stumble over the word “contributer” into the best diss ever.


Angelina Proves Breast-Feeding Is Sexy In W Magazine

On one hand, it’s the most natural thing a mother can do for her babies. On the other hand, it’s Angelina fricking Jolie and she’s decided to show everybody in the pages of a major magazine. Whoah! There’s no doubt Brad Pitt’s missus looks even more beautiful than ever on the cover of the latest issue of W where she’s pictured breastfeeding one of the Wonder Twins – in a shot taken by Brad, no less.

In an interview further in the magazine, Angie reveals how falling for Brad made her change her mind about having biological children. “I think one of the life changing things that he did, one of many, is that I was absolutely never going to get pregnant. I never felt that it was the right thing to do …. I suppose I just looked at him and loved him and just felt open to [getting pregnant]. I suddenly wanted to. It’s one of those things you can’t explain.”

Sigh. We wish we could say something snarky or snide about this, but we just can’t. They are too damn perfect. Honestly, they had better not break up. Otherwise we will be very upset.

By the way, we wonder how Jamie Lynn Spears feels about this? We wouldn’t blame her if she was a little bit peeved. Angelina Jolie breastfeeds = beautiful art worthy of mag cover. Jamie Lynn breastfeeds = child porn. Ah well.


Tom Brokaw Tightens Up

Say what you will about his moderating skills, but Tom Brokaw is looking fabulous! If he was laughing at buddy John McCain‘s jokes last night, his new face wasn’t going to let you know. Why go graceful when you can go glam, right? Dude could flick a snake tongue out of that mouth.

[Photos: Time & Life/Getty]


Tina Fey Does It Again

Tina Fey reprised her role as Sarah Palin in yet another dead-on Saturday Night Live parody. This time, SNL guest Queen Latifah joined a sketch of the VP debate as debate moderator Gwen Ifill. Joe Biden, played by Jason Sudeikis, said that John McCain was “bad at his job” and “mentally unstable” and a “dear, dear friend.” He also debunked the notion that’s he’s a “Washington insider” by proclaiming that’s he’s from Scranton, Pennsylvania — “the worse place on earth” filled with “sad and desperate people with no ambition.”

Palin, who changed the moderator’s topics to suit her pre-prepared talking points and evoked Ronald Reagan‘s name for the sake of evoking Ronald Reagan’s name, had at least three devastatingly funny one-liners, including …

  • On fixing the economy: “We would ask what would a maverick do in this situation, and, then, you know, we’ll do that.”
  • On the cause of global warming: We don’t know if it’s man-mad or just “a natural part of The End Of Days.”
  • On her health care policy: “I’m going to ignore that question and instead talk about Israel. There’s a special place for Israel in heaven. And I know some people are going to say I’m only saying that to pander to voters in Florida. But from a very young age, my two greatest loves were always Jews and cuban food.”


Russell Brand Wants To Suckle Sarah Silverman’s Breasts

It’s worth bracing yourself for comedy’s newest coupling, after UK star Russell Brand made clear his intentions to seduce Sarah Silverman.

Russell’s already made somewhat of a ‘name’ for himself in Britain, after being linked to Kate Moss, Courtney Love, Kimberley Stewart and many, many more lucky ladies. (Can you tell we’re a bit biased?) And now, fresh from his MTV VMA presenting gig, he’s landed a one-off stand-up show on Comedy Central.

“Comedy Central is home to South Park, The Daily Show, and The Sarah Silverman Program,” Russell said. “I’m thrilled to have such esteemed neighbors. Particularly Sarah Silverman, whom I shall be troubling for cups of sugar and milk breast milk.”

You’ll agree, it’s not your average, common or garden chat-up line, but you never know, it may just work. We’re getting ready for the inevitable ‘I’m F*cking [insert A-list star name here]’ videos, although in Russ’s case they may go on very long indeed. [The Sun; Photo: Getty Images]


Is Roger Ebert A Creationist?

Roger Ebert stopped raising his thumb long enough publish a Q&A in the Sunday Chicago Sun-Times about Creationism, which he claims “should be discussed in schools as an alternative to the theory of evolution.” Is he being incredibly dry, or is this an earnest attempt to push the fundamentalist platform? Here’s a sample:

Q. What about oil and coal, which seem to have been generated from ancient forests millions of years ago?

A. They are evidence of a Great Flood about 4,400 years ago, which laid down all the layers of sediment at once. They are nowhere near as old as evolutionists and archeologists say. A fossil claimed to be 200 million years old, found in Nevada in 1917, shows a shoe print. [See photograph]

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Megan Fox Admits To Lesbian Stripper Fling

GQ is running what will become one of the most gossiped about celebrity interviews of the year in its October issue featuring Transformers star Megan Fox. The cover of the magazine pretty much sums it up: “Megan Fox says what she thinks & does what she wants (and we’re okay with that).” This blurb could be referring to when she exclaimed “Fuck Disney” for the way it treats its young stars or her admission that she always takes Xanax before going onstage. But the juiciest nugget of the article comes when Megan opens up about having been “in love” with a female Russian stripper named Nikita when she was in her late teens. Here’s Megan in her own words:

“I was there all the time [the strip club]. I would go there by myself. I bought her things — perfume, body spray, girlie stuff. I turned into a weird middle-aged married man. I felt like I had this need to save Nikita. I’d get lap dances so I could get to know her, and I’d give her what I thought were great little sound bites of inspiration — like ‘You can do it, you’re better than this!’ I didn’t want her to be there.”

And later (after explaining it was only a two-week affair):

“Look, I’m not a lesbian. I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl-Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She’s mesmerizing. And lately I’ve been obsessed with Jenna Jameson, but … Oh boy.”

Read the full article at GQ, and let the gossip begin.


CNN: Porn Web-Surfers Can Rest Easy, Dress Classy

Great news, porn-lovers! CNN reported recently about “In-Private Browsing”, a new feature that’s part of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer 8. The feature is not new to web-surfers, Apple’s Safari browser also has the option to privately browse, commonly referred to as “porn mode” because it allows users to completely erase their browsing history after an internet session. What’s even better about the article (yes, it gets better than guiltlessly searching is that you can turn it into a T-shirt. Finally, a one-stop shop for news and 100% Cotton Tees. All shirts are time-stamped for real CNN authenticity, too. As much as we love the “porn mode” shirt, the one we’re really holding out for is “Jesus’ image seen on wings of a moth“. Clothes are all about versatility and it’s about time someone combined casual comfort with late-breaking news.


A Brief History Of Being Kate Moss

Though she has a reputation for being press-shy, Kate Moss opened up in this month’s Interview magazine, and they have the whole thing over at Fashionista. While she doesn’t get into the juicy details of her caught-on-film drugfest (No. 74 on Scandalist’s list of the 100 Greatest Celebrity Scandals of All Time) or her relationship with Sweatiest Man Alive, Pete Doherty, the woman does have plenty of opinions and bares her soul — and by soul, we mean breasts — in the photo spread.

On being too thin: “I didn’t eat for a long time. Not on purpose. You’d be on shoots with bad food or get on a plane, and the food would be so disgusting you couldn’t eat it. You go to a show, and there’s no food at all, so if you’re doing shows back to back, you can forget eating. I remember standing up in the bath one day, and there was a mirror in front of me, and I was so thin! I hated it. I never liked being that skinny.”

On meeting legends: “I met Frank Sinatra and Bob Dylan in the space of 15 minutes. Frank Sinatra kissed me on the lips. … He kissed me on the lips. And then he gave me a filterless cigarette. And then I met Bob Dylan. I came off all lightheaded and had to go sit on his dressing-room steps.”

On breast implants: “I know only one girl who has good ones. And most of them are so hard you can knock on them like a door. I’m not into them. I mean, if I got all saggy, like the sacks some women have after they have children, I’d have them done. I’m not against them, but if you have normal ones, just to have them enlarged for the sake of having big ones … I don’t really like big tits anyway.”

On working with (Marky) Mark Wahlberg for Calvin Klein: “At the time he was such a dickhead. He wasn’t very nice.”

On her verbal vs. physical prowess: “I could talk when I was 20. I’m a lot better in the sack now.”

Bonus picture after the jump.

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