Michael Lohan

by (@shalapitcher)

5 People Who Are Really Happy This Manti Te’o Story Exploded

The Manti Te'o story has distracted from other scandals, like Lance Armstrong's

It’s impossible not to be fascinated by the story of Notre Dame football star Manti Te’o and his made-up girlfriend. Whether he was a victim or a co-conspirator in this whole deal, he’s got to be feeling pretty crappy today. Along with all the reporters who never bothered to check whether the girlfriend who tragically died the day before Manti’s big game last year ever existed before reporting on her death. But we can think of a handful of people who must be positively overjoyed about this story:

5. Nev Schulman, the star of MTV’s Catfish. Since Te’o and his school are claiming this was all an elaborate hoax, he is basically the highest profile victim of a “Catfish” scheme, and now we all know what that means. This is the best publicity for Schulman’s show, which follows people as they find out the shocking truth behind the person they met and fell in love with online.

4. Michael Lohan. We still think he’s a terrible person, but we’ve already basically forgotten yesterday’s story in Star, which quoted Lohan as saying Lindsay was getting paid to date very rich men. He later told TMZ that he was misquoted — Lindsay makes cash for her public appearances, not for escorting dudes — but we had already moved on to this Manti thing. Either way, he benefits.

3. Lindsay Lohan. For a minute she doesn’t seem like the worst decision maker on the planet.
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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Rumor We Hate: Michael Lohan Says Lindsay Gets Pimped Out To “Date” Old Rich Dudes For Cash

Well this just makes us want to burst into tears and watch The Parent Trap over and over in mourning for the pair of adorable little wise-crackin’ red-headed girls. Why, you ask? Because that pair of red-headed girls has grown up to become a single red-headed train-wreck called Lindsay Lohan, who is now reduced to being a high-priced escort. At least that’s if you believe her dad Michael, who has taken his bold claims to Star Magazine.

“She is getting paid to date rich men,” says the always quotable Mike. “Dina [her mother] is pimping her out – it’s disgusting!” The article goes on the quote another source with “insider” knowledge on all things Lohan. “The dates last for days, and the guys pay for everything -hotel, travel costs, food, whatever- as well as jewelry and other gifts.” Some of the evidence does seem pretty damming. The financially strapped actress did indeed spend the New Years holiday with Prince Haji Abdul Azim of Brunei, for which she reportedly earned “at least $100,000″ plus assorted pricey gifts like iPads and more jewelry. And then there was the time she dated that 40-year-old billionaire named Vikram Chatwal.

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by (@shalapitcher)

Dina Lohan Reveals Black Eye Pics, More Michael Lohan Abuse Details To Entertainment Tonight

Dina Lohan with a black eye

Dina and Lindsay Lohan in 1986, following the alleged assault.

After Dina Lohan went to the New York Daily News with her story about how ex-husband Michael Lohan assaulted her in 1986 and raped her in 1990, Lindsay’s mother gave Entertainment Tonight three photos of herself with a black eye following the 1986 incident. Dina had actually spoken to the show back in September about the abuse, but the photos seem to have caught everyone’s attention now. And Michael Lohan, of course, was quick to respond.

“I didn’t punch her,” Michael told ET, reiterating his version of the incident, which he said started when Dina hit him in the back of the head with an ice tray. “I didn’t do anything deliberately to attack her. I swung out of reflex … she’s twisting everything.”

We kind of fail to see how swinging “out of reflex” is any less of an assault to a woman, by the way, especially when this reflex results in the black eye we see above. But since it’s a little too late for Dina to do anything about this, we do see his point that her timing is suspiciously self-serving. Ugh, they are both the worst.

[Photo courtesy ETOnline.com]

Related: Lindsay Lohan’s Mom Blames Everything On Michael Lohan’s Abuse, Dating Back To 1986

by (@shalapitcher)

Lindsay Lohan’s Mom Blames Everything On Michael Lohan’s Abuse, Dating Back To 1986

Dina Lohan brings up her ex-husband's past assaults on her as a reason their daughter has so many problems

As Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer headed to court today for a hearing on charges she assaulted a woman in a Manhattan night club in November, her mother has brought to light a very different defense of the troubled 26-year-old. And it actually makes a lot of sense to us, in the saddest way. Dina Lohan went to the New York Daily News on Sunday with her story of how ex-husband Michael Lohan abused and raped her in the late ’80s and early ’90s, and brought along police reports and medical documents to prove it.

“Lindsay saw her dad abuse me — that’s why she’s so screwed up,” Dina told the paper. She described how Michael punched her in the eye during a drive home after he been drinking and snorting cocaine. She also told of a time her husband raped her in her parents’ home, where she and her kids were living apart from him. On both occasions, Dina didn’t press charges because Michael was heading to prison for fraud and insider trading.
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by (@JordanRuntagh)

The 20 Most Brutal Celebrity Beefs Of 2012

The 20 Most Brutal Celebrity Beefs Of 2012

The holidays are a time to celebrate goodwill for all human kind. And that’s cool and all, but that stuff gets sort of old after a while. So now let’s take a minute and take a look at all famous folks who didn’t get the peace and harmony memo! We’ve assembled our list of the top 20 most brutal celebrity beat-downs of 2012. Join us in a chant of “Fight fight fight!” and check it out!

20. Rita Ora vs. Rob Kardashian: Rita Whora’s Revenge

Rob Kardashian didn’t handle his heartbreak all that great following his split with Rita Ora. Instead of posting passive aggressive Facebook statuses like the rest of us, he went on an all-out Twitter assault against his former flame, claiming that she cheated on him with 20 dudes, and coining the obvious pun, “Rita Whora,” which became a trending topic soon after. #Revenge? #SmallVictories

Stitches required: Just 1 for Rob’s broken heart.

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by (@shalapitcher)

Michael Lohan Sure Knows How To Help Lindsay Out Of A Bind

Michael Lohan gives an "I told you so" interview after Lindsay Lohan's arrest.

You know what I really hope my dad does if I’m ever arrested? Calls up Radar Online and blames everything on my mom. That’s what reigning Father of the Year Michael Lohan did this morning, upon learning of Lindsay Lohan’s arrest for allegedly punching a woman in the face at a New York nightclub.

“I TOLD you exactly what would happen and YOU KNOW I was trying to get Dina on board with me for a long time, BUT especially the last two weeks,” he told the site. “Lindsay is acting out in numerous ways because she needs us and internally she’s hurt and angry! Again, it’s ALL on Dina and I wish to God she would stop and resolve things with us to do the same for our children.”

That’s super helpful, ML! I’m sure Lindsay appreciates your support.
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by (@JordanRuntagh)

The Moment Lindsay Lohan Learned She Had A New Half-Sibling: “I Didn’t Even Hear That!”

Watch the video above and you’ll see something fairly extraordinary: A person learning they have a long lost sibling, and then treating it like it’s NBD and getting right back on the promotional pitch! Yesterday it was revealed that Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael fathered a lovechild back in the 90s, but we guess no one got around to telling her. She apparently first heard the news this morning during a television interview.

The controversial actress (polite euphemism for train-wreck) made an appearance on Good Morning America with Amy Robach today to discuss the airing of her upcoming TV-movie, Liz and Dick. But as so often happens, conversation turned towards her troubled history and family life, including the news of her newly discovered half-sister. Her reaction? “I didn’t even hear that, so thanks for the news!” Annnnnd then it was right back in the discussion of Elizabeth Taylor. Amazing! Either she’s really single minded, or maybe that was just her way of deflecting salacious family gossip and getting back to the task at hand: Resurrecting her career.

The Lifetime produced flick is certainly the most talked about made-for-TV-movie in recently memory, and people are eagerly waiting to see if it will be Lohan’s return to form. She admits channeling her own experiences while playing the role of screen legend, Elizabeth Taylor, who was also ruthlessly scrutinized by the media. “I think that everyone goes through things in life, and I like to learn from my mistakes, obviously,” she says. “But I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t gone through certain things, everything happens for a reason, good or bad. So you can just take what you’ve learned from it and move forward.” We’ll tune in on the 25th to see if Lilo moves forward, or just gets into another fender bender.

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Michael Lohan Gets Worse: DNA Tests Prove He’s The Father Of Ignored Teenage Lovechild

Michael Lohan learns he's fathered a child out of wedlock in the 90s

He’s backkkk! Michael Lohan continues to be our all time favorite D-lister ever (sorry Octomom) by finding new and exciting ways to make us loath him. But get ready, because this time he truly out done himself. The slightly-less-terrible Lilo parent went on television to learn through DNA testing that he fathered a lovechild in the 90s while married to slightly-more-terrible Lilo parent Dina. The Maury-rific experience went down on Trisha Goddard’s NBC show, where Mike was joined by Kristi Horn, who has made numerous claims over the years that he is the real father of her 17-year-old daughter. Despite the accusations, Michael has repeatedly denied that the child is his, has never paid her a dime in child support, and apparently never even met the child.

So what do you do when you’re have no real talent of your own, and your cash-cow daughter’s comeback projects are looking increasingly crappy? Take your private matters to the most public venue possible! Michael learned the results of his DNA test in front of Kristi, his new-found daughter Ashley, and a studio audience. Let us level with you for a moment: We’ve been at this bloggin’ business for while by now, and we’ve seem some pretty cringe-worthy videos. This Beyonce fan fail springs immediately to mind. But when we watched the video of Michael learning that he was the real dad, our mouths were literally open in bewildered/disgusted wonderment. Bonus points for the girl rejecting Mike’s hug with a teary “No! No! No! This is the first time I’ve met you. I’m sorry, but…” After years of paternal rejection, Ol’ Mike probably had it coming. The full episode airs tonight, but we’re not sure we can take anymore.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Lindsay Lohan’s Publicist Quits; We Suspect Michael Lohan Has Been Her Real Problem All Along

Lindsay Lohan's Publicist Quits Due To Michael Lohan
Like Amanda Bynes before her, Lindsay Lohan has allegedly been dropped by her publicist, this time a gentleman by the name of Steve Honig. We know what you’re thinking: “Lindsay Lohan had a publicist?” Just kidding! Kind of. According to TMZ, Honig allegedly quit after gross-dad Michael Lohan flipped out on him, texting Steve that he was a “f—ing liar” and genuinely acting like a fool. Even more bizarrely, apparently it was Michael Lohan himself who reported this story to TMZ. Why would he ever want anyone to find out what he did? Papa Lohan is clearly disconnected from reality, which makes us wonder…is Lindsay’s ongoing tale of woe the result of Michael Lohan’s constant interference? Like some kind of career and relationship poltergeist?

Well, we guess that still wouldn’t explain Dina Lohan’s Dr. Phil appearance or, well, Lindsay’s driving record. Apparently the text feud went down after Michael claimed that Lindsay’s manager Evan Hainey, entertainment lawyer Dave Feldman and defense lawyer Shawn Holly were in on the “intervention” he staged last week. Honig issued a statement saying that claim was crazy talk, thus leading to Michael Lohan’s text harassment. According to text messages obtained by TMZ, however, Michael Lohan was at least in contact with all of them. Have Lindsay’s people considered just…not giving their number to Michael Lohan? Or blocking him? When asked the reason for letting Lindsay go as a client, Honig scoffed, “Michael wishes he were that important.” Can we block Michael Lohan from our eyes and minds then? Please? What if we use duct tape? What then?

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@missmuttoo)

Michael Lohan Pulls An “Intervention” On Lindsay Lohan, She Wants An “Order Of Protection”

Michael Lohan Attemps Intervention On Lindsay Lohan, Mess Ensues

Is it just us, or are you also just plain exhausted with the Lohan family drama? It’s something new every week and we’re getting sick of it. They just got out of that whole Dina-did-she-or-didn’t-she-do-cocaine Lohan mess, with Lindsay pretty much disowning dad Michael. He obviously didn’t like that because he started the weekend off by staging an “intervention” on Lindsay. By that we mean he pretty much showed up at her house and refused to leave until she committed to going to a treatment center to get help. TMZ reports that Michael told them she’s surrounded by  “a bunch of alcoholics and drug addicts.” Of course the cops showed up because someone called them due to Michael’s trespassing. And this may be a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but Dina’s also tired of Michael, telling TMZ, “This sole act by my ex was not an intervention nor was this extreme antic sanctioned by any member of Lindsay’s family or her professional team of handlers. It’s all about her father obsessed with making a name for himself in the news once again. It’s sad and I hope he stops masquerading as her father in public and starts acting like one in private.”

Michael himself is claiming that Lindsay’s whole management team — Evan Hainey (LiLo’s manager) Dave Feldman (entertainment lawyer) and Shawn Holley (defence lawyer) — are on board with this stunt of his. He’s also been saying that there have been emails circulating between all of them about Lindsay’s destructive behavior, which apparently includes, “drinking between a bottle and a bottle and a half of vodka per day. I have seen the empty bottles and even cocaine in her room at Chateau.” TMZ says they’ve seen some of the text messages between the group which date October 19th, which agree to Michael trying to … intervene.

He didn’t manage getting through to her, as the police showed up and now Lindsay wants an “order of protection” against him. But that’s not all, guys. Michael is a ball that keeps on rollin’ because the latest update is that he plans to go to court to try and get conservatorship for Lindz, a la Britney Spears and the first order of business will be getting her into rehab. Look … we don’t doubt that Lindsay is in trouble. It’s as plain as day that she’s been on a spiral for years. We just wished Michael would be a better role model and more sincere about actually help her, instead of helping himself. Because he isn’t exactly winning Father of the Year anytime soon. We always get the feeling he’s out to be famous, instead of being there for his famous daughter. And that’s just a shame.

[Photo: Splash News Online]