Michael Lohan

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Lindsay Lohan Denies She’s Doing Letterman: Dad To Blame?

We’re sure Dina‘s available, though! The Late Show issued a statement taking back that Lindsay Lohan would deliver a Top Ten list this week after the actress denied it on Twitter (“I am NOT going to be doing David Letterman, I’m not sure how this happened, but I am sorry for the confusion…”). “We made a mistake. Someone purporting to be a friend of Lindsay’s reached out to the show yesterday, allegedly on her behalf, and booked her to appear,” said the show’s rep. Anyone claiming to be a “friend” of Lindsay Lohan should be a red flag, guys—we’re pretty sure she has no real friends.

“Clearly, this person was not authorized to make commitments on her behalf. We wish Lindsay well, and look forward to having her on the show in the future.” Lohan has been on the show a couple times before, but not since promoting Georgia Rule in 2007. Letterman certainly hasn’t been too kind to her in monologues since those relatively innocent days, so we’re not surprised she wasn’t aching to return. Now Michael Lohan tells TMZ he was the “friend” in question—who could have guessed, right? Michael says LiLo was excited until her reps found out. “Anything positive that I bring into her life,” he said, “they try to nix it.” Considering the District Attorney’s office wants Lindsay in prison, heading to NY to make jokes about her court case might not be the best idea.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Michael Lohan Rushed To Hospital Because Of Chest Pains

Michael Lohan has been rushed to hospital after experiencing chest pains. He was at the time, at a doctor’s clinic in Newport, getting a consultation about his nose (he wants to get it fixed). Michael apparently started palpitating and when the nurse took his blood pressure, TMZ reports it was supposedly at 200/110.

He was taken to Hoag Hospital, and it is now being reported that he needs surgery because of a blocked artery. He’s still in hospital, where he’ll be staying overnight. We’re not going to speak ill of someone when they’re ill but RadarOnline reports that Michael had taken Inside Edition camera’s with him to the doctors so they could film him. That’s how the camera’s were in on what happened. We was accompanied by Kate Major who said, “We were at the doctor’s office for his nose consultation in Newport when he started having bad chest pains. The nurse took his heart rate and 911 was called immediately.”  None of this explains why they were taking cameras with them to the doctor. Oh wait… we know why. It’s because he’s a Lohan. ‘Nuff said. We hope he’s going to be okay.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Michael Lohan Agreed To Pay Off Lindsay’s Accuser

Every time we think Michael Lohan has outdone himself in the terrible parenting category, he goes ahead and takes it to another level. After today’s scandalous reports about Lindsay Lohan paying off rehab accuser Dawn Holland, it turns out that father Michael Lohan agreed to pay Holland $25,000, and is blabbing about every detail. “Dawn has had her attorney meet with me, negotiate with me and even propose a ‘deal’ with me, her lawyer and Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Holly (Chapman) and while I agreed to Dawn Holland’s initial ‘number’, to procure financial stability due to getting fired, she got greedy and took it to another level,” Lohan admits. Michael must have been pretty impressed to have finally met his slimy match.

Michael still somehow believes that it’s Holland who is going to be injured by this exchange, not his actress daughter. “I believe that the courts and public will see, that this is a woman, who motives and intentions (sic), to set Lindsay up, so she could have financial gain,” Lohan explains. Meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer denies she was involved in the sordid exchange. “I have never entered into any agreement with Ms. Holland or with any representative of Ms. Holland– on Ms. Lohan’s behalf or otherwise– for money to be paid to Ms. Holland, either directly or indirectly,” Shawn Chapman claims. We still don’t know if Lindsay knew about all these back-room deals, though once she finds out her father was involved, we doubt she’ll be surprised.

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Worst Golden Globes Party Ever

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Charmaine Blake is a Hollywood publicist who threw a Golden Globes viewing party last night. You know how they say cream rises to the top? Well, if the cream in this instance is everyone who actually went to the awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, the attendees at Blake’s party were the chunky bits in the bottom of the milk bottle. You know it’s a classy affair when worst dad ever Michael Lohan canoodles happily with worst Nazi stripper ever, Bombshell McGee. Check out all the attendees at this viewing party and cringe that all of these people are “famous” enough to walk a red carpet.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Michael Lohan Bloodies Hand In Attempted Fire Rescue

Michael Lohan

Michael Lohan cares, dammit. Last night, after releasing an open letter to Charlie Sheen begging him to seek help (“Just look at the damage you’re causing, Charlie…I know that Dr. Drew would be happy to help you”), the proud papa was part of a valiant attempt to douse a fire in his apartment building. “Apartment 107 went on fire,” he told TMZ. “Three of us went in with fire extinguishers and tried to put it out, but the smoke was so overwhelming.” Lohan even bloodied his hand breaking through the emergency glass case.

“There are a lot of old people in the building,” he said. “They’re all safe, thank God.” One person is seen taken away in a stretcher in TMZ’s footage, but appeared to be sitting up and chatting amiably with the paramedics. We bet Lindsay Lohan is like, so proud of her dad right now.

[Photo: TMZ]

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Dina Lohan Calls The FBI Over Lindsay’s Stalker

Lindsay Lohan

You might not care about Lindsay Lohan‘s stalker scare, but the federal government…might. TMZ reports that Dina Lohan has contacted the FBI over creepy anonymous texts she and her children have been receiving. Apparently, warnings to Lindsay that she’s being watched were just the beginning—now Dina and Michael Jr. are being told to stay away from papa Michael Lohan and Sam Lufti, Britney Spears‘ ex-manager. Hey, what a coincidence—Lufti’s the guy Dina thinks is sending the texts! Think Lindsay’s skin is at terror level orange yet?

Michael Lohan has admitted that Lufti texted his son and daughter, but denies his partner in parasitic paternal activities is the “stalker,” even though Lufti just had a permanent restraining order put on him by an old roommate he was harassing on the internet. Clearly, we need Mulder and Scully to take on this baffling case. Remember, reverse vampires are attracted to bright light—just like Lufti and the Lohans.

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Michael Lohan Presents: Lindsay’s Conception

Hey guys, wanna know how Lindsay Lohan was conceived?! No? Well too bad, because Michael Lohan is feelin’ talky. Big Mike officially jumped the shark yesterday on XM Radio’s Playboy Morning Show, telling us wayyy more than we wanted to know about the start of Lilo. Fittingly, the tabloid legend was created during a drug-addled hotel room romp.

“Dina and I were in Switzerland,” Michael told the host of the program. “It was the first time I ever smoked pot in my entire life.” He then “joked” that he was so high that he couldn’t leave his hotel for three days. “You’re stuck in a chalet for three days, so you’re going to have a lot of sex.” But Mike started to get shy when the host pushed for details on the position they were in when the magic moment occurred. “I don’t even want to go there…there are so many positions…actually probably on my hands and knees.” And in describing this, he ruined Mean Girls and The Parent Trap for us forever. That’s all for this week from TMI Corner!

[Photo: Images]

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Michael Lohan And Tila Tequila Wish Tiger’s Mistress A Happy Birthday!

While some are glad to hear that Lindsay Lohan is back in contact with father Michael, but we’re a little concerned about the company he keeps. Deadbeat Daddy took fiancee (and former Jon Gosselin lover) Kate Major to Joslyn James‘ birthday party at the House Of Blues in LA yesterday, where the pair chatted up with fellow guest Tila Tequila. “Obviously, I know Tila Tequila from her brilliant reality show work and promising musical career,” you might be saying, “but why does Joslyn James’ name sound so familiar?” Well, confused reader, James made the news after teaming with celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred and releasing a bounty of graphic sex texts from Tiger Woods. Yes, she’s the one Tiger “would love to have the ability to make sore”…though a surrogate in her Tiger-themed porn video had to do the job instead.

It might be awkward to see Papa living it up with these lovely ladies while she suffers through outpatient rehab, but it’s not like Michael has forgotten about his little girl. TMZ says he dropped off a Mercedez Benz convertible at her sober house to celebrate the renewal of her driver’s license. Wait a second, isn’t mom Dina always complaining that Michael owes child support? How exactly did he pay for this thing?

See photos from Joslyn’s birthday jamboree in the gallery below.

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Michael Lohan Will Rumble With Demi Lovato’s Dad If He Doesn’t Shut Up

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Look out, because we might have a good ol’ fashioned Disney Dad Throw-Down on our hands. Demi Lovato’s estranged father Patrick has not been shy with his opinions that the break-neck Hollywood lifestyle is to blame for his daughter’s emotional collapse. In fact, he’s been talking about it so much that he has received numerous death threats.

And you know what? All of Patrick’s talk about his daughter’s problems has rubbed Michael Lohan the wrong way. You remember Michael Lohan, right? He’s the guy who became famous for talking about his daughter’s problems in the press. Having regained his parental cred by being permitted to spend time with his institutionalized daughter Lindsay, Mike decided to offer some pearls of wisdom to another dad in a tough spot.

“There are two reasons why I have no respect for people who talk or comment about others,” Michael told Popeater. “First, it’s because, in most cases, those individuals are looking from the outside in, and they are passing judgment or commenting on people they know nothing about. The second reason is because they are too cowardly to say it to the person themselves.”

We’ll let that sink in for a moment. Michael Lohan went to the press and criticized Demi’s dad for talking to the press, despite the fact that Michael himself said he would stop talking to the press in an interview with the press OH MY GOD STOP THIS CRAZY THING!

Michael also issued a warning to Patrick, should he dare to compare Demi with Lindsay. “I ask Demi Lavato’s father to refrain from making asinine statements about my daughter, or say it to my face himself,” he said. “And if so, I will pay for the transportation and his hospital bills.”

We think that would be an incredible fight. There would be no winners, but two losers.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Lindsay Lohan Has a Busy Weekend, Reunites With Her Dad

What a curveball this turned out to be. This weekend, low-key re-habbed Lindsay Lohan went to the movies. Unfortunately, Lindsay at the movies isn’t going to go unnoticed, and had to leave when the crowds spotted her. What a non-story, right? Well, what happened the following day made up for it.

Lindsay met her father, Michael Lohan, the very next day. And no, he didn’t break into Betty Ford, where Lindsay’s recuperating. This wasn’t forced at all because the two apparently spent hours together! Excuse us while we say, WTF? Lindsay’s been blaming her Dad for all her problems for years now. Michael on the other hand, has been chasing her down, siccing the media on Lindsay and her mom Dina Lohan. Lindsay even once said, “I think my biggest focus for myself is learning how to continue to get through the trauma that my father has caused in my life.”

This didn’t seem like a love-hate relationship; just hate. And now it’s reunion time? Color us surprised. Sources told Radar Online, “It was an emotional reunion… there were hugs, kisses and even a few tears when Michael and Lindsay first saw each other.” They added, “Lindsay met Michael at Betty Ford and the pair spent hours together… it was not a fleeting encounter, this appeared well-planned in advance. They also went shopping at a local Palm Desert mall, where they were seen walking around together and at one point, were in a jewelry store.”

What’s even more shocking is that Michael Lohan didn’t blab about the occasion considering he always shoots his mouth off. His only response about the meeting was, “I have pledged not to comment about anything relating to my daughter. However, what I will say is that I am an incredibly proud father tonight. My daughter is progressing extraordinarily well.” That sounded… normal. Pigs have officially grown wings.

But here’s the deal? The Lohan family has always been in the news for the wrong reasons. Lindsay clearly is in trouble, and is whether she likes it or not, getting help. And Michael Lohan has always been…Michael. But maybe, just maybe, a blue moon’s peeking out from somewhere, and Lindsay finally got tired of blaming everyone else for her problems. And Michael has finally started giving his daughter what she really needs… a dad. Hey…we’re feeling charitable today! Just go with it!