Michael Lohan staged a “press conference” yesterday afternoon, repeating his regular refrain that 1) daughter Lindsay Lohan is abusing drugs, 2) she’s being coddled by “enablers” and 3) if she won’t willingly go to rehab, he’ll do whatever it takes to make her go. “Extraordinary circumstances call for extraordinary measures,” he said. “I’ve tried every way possible to reach out to my daughter…If Lindsay won’t sit down privately, my attorneys and I will take other measures. I just hope Lindsay is accommodating. Lindsay needs a private setting where she can detox and get individual and family therapy. That’s the program I have in place. It’s here on Long Island. I’m sick and tired of all the nonsense.”
Unsurprisingly, Dina Lohan wasn’t moved by her abusive ex-husband’s pleas. “”I have a criminal protective order against him ’til 2011. He’s 1 year behind in child support and he’s using [Lindsay] as a diversion,” she told TMZ. Lindsay is in good hands. Everything is fine. He’s trashing a child he doesn’t even see.” “Anyone else have a father that sells fake stories on them for money & dates a girl that works for tabloids? And has never paid child support?” tweeted Lindsay earlier this week. “Don’t even go there,” threatened Michael in response. “The way u and ur friends think is like a civil war compared to a nuclear one.” This conference may only be the first of many bombings to come.
[Photos: Getty Images]
Aren’t near-death experiences supposed to affect those who have them? Erin Muller reportedly e-mailed Radar to report she’s considering dropping all charges against life-threatening ex-fiancee Michael Lohan now that he’s suffered a heart attack. “With all of his health problems, I am concerned that if I don’t drop the charges he is going to continue obsessing over me, and this case to the point that he may have another heart attack and die…I don’t want that on my hands.” Her concern seems ironic, considering the graphic history of abuse she reported in court documents late last year. “I just need to move on, get away from him and have peace.” Muller has had Lohan arrested multiple times for breaking her restraining order against him.
Despite his equal fondness for litigation, Lohan suggests he’s ready move on as well. “We have all been through enough; Erin, her family, my family and all the people who will be dragged into court if this continues or goes forward.” That said, if Michael proves unable to stop talking about her alleged “drug use, cheating, being committed to a psych ward and sex with family members,” as he tweeted last December, Muller says she will take a page from his playbook and release recordings of Lindsay Lohan‘s estranged father. And what a disaster for his reputation that would be.
[Photo: Getty Images]
We’d be more sympathetic to the news that Michael Lohan had a heart attack yesterday if he didn’t immediately turn around and email the paparazzi photo website X17 to update them on his health.
After suffering what his girlfriend Kate Major called a minor heart attack and being taken to a hospital in Manhasset, NY, Lohan send an email to the site confirming the news. He wrote: “Going up for the angio in a few. Ugh. They do it through your inner thigh. YUCK!”
Yuck indeed. And we don’t just mean the surgery. It’s official, Michael Lohan is an even grosser human being than we thought. [Photo: Getty Images]
Just a month after apologizing for airing daughter Lindsay Lohan‘s private phone messages, Michael Lohan is once again planning a major embarrassment. Seems LiLo’s has a progress report due today in her DUI case, and while she doesn’t have to attend, dad hopes to tell the judge (and Lindsay’s lawyer, presumably while cameras roll) what he’d force her to do. “My daughter needs rehab for at least 3 months,” he tells Radar. “Come on… let’s face it, there are pictures of her out there…of her drinking and taking pills in public. If you’re on probation, is that what the system approves of?” Hey, Mike, a recidivist like yourself might not want to point out the weaknesses of the probation system. God forbid they actually listen to you.
Michael, who hopes to make a reality show out of a cross-country trip to LA with girlfriend and Gosselin ex Kate Major (good luck with that), eventually turned to statements to Lindsay—God forbid she’s listening. “It really pisses me off that when you have trouble or when you’re in St. Barth’s and you have nowhere to turn to and you tell me everything is going awry and your sister is missing…I’m up 6 hours in the night trying to hire a jet to pick you up and take you home…and then you flip the script on me.” But this isn’t about Michael wanting everyone to know the hell his estranged children put him through. “This is about you getting well, you getting healthy, me loving you and wanting you to do the right thing.” Or maybe it’s about Michael Lohan feeling insanely jealous of Jamie Spears these days.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Michael Lohan may have put his secret recordings of loved ones and violent freakouts on ice so far this year, but he still hasn’t learned how to leave others alone. LiLo’s proud papa was arrested Thursday for once again breaking ex-fiancee Erin Muller‘s restraining order against him. Lohan, charged with criminal contempt, was last arrested for the contacting Mulller (whom he was previously charged with threatening to kill) in December.
Lohan and Muller allegations of abuse after his last arrest, but so far Michael has yet to unleash his trademark fury. His only Twitter post since the arrest, “If you cant go to Florida, bring Florida to New York” is a far cry from “Now people will see and hear HER ADMISSIONS of her drug use, cheating, being committed to a psych ward and sex with family members.” Now if only he would remove her number from his cell.
Jon Gosselin may want nothing to do with ex-girlfriend Kate Major and former buddy Michael Lohan, but the business partners/skating buddies sure want a piece of him. “Listen Mr. Jon Gosselin, it’s about time you man up and accept the offer and get in the ring,” Major told Radar, demanding JoGo face MiLo for one of those Celebrity Boxing matches Lindsay’s dad is always putting on. “For once in your life, face up to somebody you’ve hurt and take it down, Jon. Take it down.” She’s also got harsh words for JoGo’s latest ladyfriend, Morgan Christie. “I don’t know if she missed out on the last year, but I’d really like to warn her and her family to really look at the type of person that Jon is and look at what he did to his other ex’s.” But with TLC’s muzzle, could JoGo make an appearance even if he wanted to?
In case this wasn’t enough less-than-classy Lohan news for you, TMZ reports that Lohan got Major a shelter puppy for Christmas—a dog they then abandoned at a veternarian’s office after it wrecked her apartment and needed heartworm treatment. Major, unsurprisingly, is less than penitent. “We rescued the dog and the dog had a lot more problems and they did not make us aware of the issues. The dog destroyed the house…the shelter told us they had someone else to adopt. It’s pathetic that someone needs to use press to get their rescue shelter in the news.” Tough talk from a woman famous for f—ing a reality show star, and now using a tabloid to challenge him to a boxing match.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Michael Lohan and former Gosselin girl Kate Major may or may not be dating, but the pair sure want to be seen together. Lindsay Lohan‘s dad took the ex-Star reporter ice skating at Rockefeller Center last night, where he took a spill while trying to underline his new positive image. “Enjoy the day, seize the moment and try to ‘turn it all around.’ Be turning bad to good,” said Lohan on his Twitter (typos removed). “Surround ourselves with people who are good and TRULY care.” Hard to believe he was threatening to reveal the details of estranged ex-fiancee Erin Muller‘s “drugs, sex, lies, incest [and] rapes” on the same message service two weeks ago.
[Photos: Splash News Online]
Two months after releasing embarrassing audiotapes of his ex-wife Dina and daughter Lindsay Lohan, Michael Lohan says he’s seen the error of his ways. “I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life, whether it be with Lindsay, with Dina, with Erin, with people I love and care about, trusted or whatever or did the wrong thing,” he told Access Hollywood. “But…one of the biggest mistakes I ever made was releasing the tape of Lindsay and Dina.” Michael? Is that you?
Seems everyone’s favorite deadbeat dad, once determined to humiliate Lindsay, now wants everyone to leave her alone. “I sympathize with Brittany Murphy’s family, with Heath Ledger, with Michael Jackson, with Adam Goldstein and as of late, with Casey Johnson, and there is an issue here with prescription drugs, but why beat up my daughter again, why push this kid to the edge?” Why indeed? “I love my kid and I made a big mistake, and I regret it, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life,” he continued. “But it’s a new year, it’s a new beginning for all of us and we want to put things on the right track and the right page.” If it wasn’t for the tape of ex-fiancee Erin Mueller he released last week, we’d almost believe he’d spent the holidays with three Christmas ghosts instead of fellow fame-whore Kate Major.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Doesn’t it seem like Michael Lohan, Hailey Glassman, Kate Major and anyone else that has associated with Jon Gosselin in the past year (including Jon Gosselin) should just disappear? We’re sort of feeling like they’ve worn out their welcome a thousand times over. That doesn’t seem to stop them from talking to the press though. Glassman, the woman Jon claimed to love and be soulmates with, except not anymore, is actually trying to compliment Kate Gosselin‘s new long-haired look. High praise from someone who dons only her finest Old Navy stretch pants to gear up for Celebrity Boxing.
Glassman seems like she wants to win some points with Kate, because she spoke to Entertainment Tonight about Kate’s People magazine cover, saying “She’s like fine wine, she gets better over time! She looks so much better now than she did three or four years ago… I like it – a new her and all the power to her, I think she looks amazing.” We get that Hailey might want to reach out to Kate since they both had terrible taste in the same man and might want to form a club, but something tells us Kate might be busy with her kids to care about what the college pot-smoker who was screwing her husband has to say. [Photo: GettyImages]
Whether you believe Michael Lohan beat ex-fiancee Erin Muller or is merely threatening to tell us all her dirty secrets, you may wonder what woman (if any) would next spend time with Lindsay Lohan‘s profoundly estranged father. According to Page Six, that lucky lady is former Star magazine reporter Kate Major, whom you might remember from her brief but torrid dalliance with Jon Gosselin. Seems she was spotted clubhopping with Mr. Lohan in Chicago Sunday, and enjoying dinner on Tuesday. “Kate kept talking about a ring that Michael bought her,” said their source. “She was wearing it on her middle finger.”
Don’t expect it to move to her ring finger anytime soon, though. “Kate and I are friends. She went to Chicago to visit her family after Christmas, and I had business in Chicago.” Yes, they’re probably just pals who stuck together after JoGo went on his less-than-merry way. Besides, judging by his foaming over his ex on Twitter (“I am not the one who has been on Psychotropics, an alcoholic, drug and sex addict.Wait till her next victim sees for him/herself (that’s right)”), it’s not like he seems to be in a romantic mood anyway.
[Photo: Splash News Online/Getty Images]