Money

by (@hallekiefer)

Forbes Ranks Diddy The #1 Wealthiest Hip-Hop Artist. Can You Guess The Rest?

It’s probably no surprise that a man who drapes himself in fur and hosts an annual White Party would come in at number one on Forbes‘ Top 5 Wealthiest Hip-Hop Artists list for the second year in a row. How do they all avoid getting ketchup all over themselves? It just doesn’t add up.

With a net worth of $550 million dollars, Diddy is currently living large off Bad Boy, Ciroc, Sean John and a host of other ventures. Forbes projects that Diddy’s Comcast cable channel Revolt might make the rapper a billionaire in 2013, and make us want to weep into our hands after paying our student loan bill. Who are the other rappers at the top of the (financial) game, you ask? Click through to find out. We’ll give you a hint: it’s probably exactly who you’d think it would be.

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by (@hallekiefer)

Russell Simmons Offered To Pay For Occupy Wall Street Clean Up

If only every group of protesters had their own incredibly wealthy rap mogul behind them, we could probably sort out societal problems a lot quicker. As you might have seen on the TV or the Interwebs, Russell Simmons has become something of a fixture at New York’s Occupy Wall Street protest, so much so that he offered to clean an entire park out of  his own (bulging) pocket rather than see protesters get kicked out for a cleaning. “Dear @MikeBloomberg — I will pay for clean-up of Zuccotti Park to avoid confrontation. I don’t wanna go to jail but I will be there ready!,” Russell tweeted. Luckily we all know that millionaires don’t go to jail, so…your move, city officials!

While New York’s Mayor Bloomberg probably could have really used the money (couldn’t we all?), in the end the owners of the park called off the cleaning, leaving Russell free to continue his frequent, Kanye West-filled visits down town. Maybe now Russell and Kanye can pool all their money to hose down the entire banking system? Or even just some other, filthier park?

[Photo: Russell Simmons' Twitter]

by (@hallekiefer)

Ashton Kutcher Raking In The Big Bucks For Charlie Sheen’s Old Job

Now that Charlie Sheen‘s character Charlie Harper is officially going out in a meat explosion to end all meat explosions, we guess Chuck Lorre and the gang can feel free to reveal how Ashton Kutcher’s Two And A Half Men‘s salary compares to that of the Warlock King. According to TV Guide, Ashton Kutcher is now the “highest-paid sitcom actor,” raking in $700,000 an episode. Ah yes, but what kind of deal did Ashton get on his goddesses’ salaries? We’re assuming Warner Bros. had to add them to all future Men contracts, just to save everybody a lot of paper work.

Of course, Kutcher is still only making a fraction of Sheen’s $1.2 million per episode in take-home pay. So take $700,000, multiple that by anywhere from 13 to 22 episodes a season, carry the one… oh sorry, that loud popping sound you heard were our heads detonating in a smaller, more manageable meat explosion.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Johnny Depp In Talks For More Money…We Mean, For Pirates 5

The world wants Johnny Depp to have more money than the GDP of Norway, and they will not stop seeing pirate movies until he does! Johnny Depp’s fifth Pirates sequel is in the works, and the star is allegedly already in talks over how many millions of dollars he needs to maintain his greasy fedora collection…oh no, sorry, that is to say, how a fifth film will fit into the greater artistic vision of the series. It’s no wonder Disney is antsy to churn out another nautical hit;  Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides has made $1 billion world-wide since it’s release on May 20. That’s society’s one universal truth: everyone on the planet loves men in eyeliner. It’s just an amazing look!

Insiders say producer Jerry Bruckheimer is currently working with screenwriters to finalize the screenplay to Depp’s liking, an important step considering Depp didn’t understand Pirates 2 and 3. Johnny is already signed on to play Tonto in the upcoming Lone Ranger film, but afterward we’re sure he’ll be wrestling with a giant squid again soon. At least, that’s what will happen if they would just a minute and read our Pirates screenplay.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Flavor Flav Spent $2,600 On Drugs…Every Day…For Six Years

If you’re holding your breath that the landlady will wait until the end of the week to cash your rent check, you might want to look away now. In an interview with Popeater, it’s revealed that Flavor Flav’s drug problem soaked up tens of thousands of dollars a day at the bleak of his cocaine addition. “Yeah I was spending $2,600 a day, for six years, every single day. I don’t know how much that is but if you did the math, wow, I went through a lot of money,” the rapper admits when discussing his new memoir Flavor Flav: Icon. “If I did the math I’d probably be shocked on how much money I spent, I’d probably punch myself in the face.” And you know he just spilled half of it all over that damn clock!

Popeater did do the math, and approximates that Flav put an astounding $5,696,6000 up his nose, give or take a sick day. We can’t even conceive of what his gold tooth budget looks like. While he has kicked the habit, Flav has had some lingering issues on the wrong side of the law, including Flavor Flav’s arrest last month for an outstanding traffic warrant. “I knew that in order for me to do that and be successful, I had to leave all of that behind me. I had to because me being a major celebrity, everything that I do, word will travel,” Flav said about his decision to get clean. Well, that and he didn’t want to end up spending a billion dollars on drugs. That amount would just be insane.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Ashton Kutcher’s Two And A Half Men Contract Only For One Year

Don’t rip up your Bi-Winng t-shirt for dishrags just yet! According to the Wall Street Journal, Ashton Kutcher’s Two And A Half Men contract is only a year long, despite a desire from CBS and Warner Bros. to drag…we mean, continue the series for at least two or three years more. After a year, Warner Bros. can ask Ashton to re-up, find another actor entirely to fill his shoes or, our secret hope of hopes, welcome Uncle Charlie Sheen back to Two And A Half Men by explaining away his year-long absence with a spectacular 12-month bender. Or would that be getting a little too meta? Either way, Kutcher will be raking in approximately $20 million for the 22 to 26 episode season, joined by returning stars John Cryer and Angus T. Jones, who are probably praying at an altar fashioned of Dude Where’s My Car? DVDs that Kutcher plans to return for a second season.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@missmuttoo)

Jaden Smith, Multi-Millionaire, And Only 12 Years Old

Baller genes must run in the family. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith‘s daughter Willow Smith, as we know, is one of the fiercest pre-teens ever. But how about their son, Jaden Smith, who is a millionaire at just 12 years of age Yeah…how about that. He hit mega paydirt on Karate Kid and TMZ has his contract—which includes his salary—from the film. Get a load of this: Jaden was paid in two installments of  $900,000 and $100,000 respectively. Bananas, right?

But it gets even better. Considering the film made over $150 million at the domestic B.O alone, Jaden raked in a $2 million bonus! There have got to have been perks over and above that, even though making $3 million at 12 is just crazy. We say this being more than twice his age and all we have in our pockets right now is a stick of gum. The Smiths are going to rule the planet one day, mark our words.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Prince’s Estate Removed From Auction, Little Red Corvette Safe For Now

In case you’re wondering what it sounds like when doves cry, it’s pretty similar to the sound of heaving sobs on top of a ringing phone as the Bank of New York Mellon Trust Co. calls about your home loan. Earlier today RadarOnline reported that Prince‘s estate was in foreclosure after the singer fell $368,000 behind on his mortgage. You don’t have to be rich to be his girl, but you have to get used to taking the bus.

Despite claims from Prince’s management that the Chanhassen, Minnesota property has been paid off, the Carver County Sheriff’s Department says the property was still set to be auctioned off May 13. Luckily the singer’s representative Kiran Sharma announced today that Prince’s house was removed from auction after the outstanding mortgage was paid. These last-minute financial rescues might explain why The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Know As Prince is currently performing a grueling run of 21 consecutive shows in Los Angeles….

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Jersey Shore Shore Cast To Make Six Figures…An Episode

Take a moment to make a soft nest out of your student loan late notices, because you are going to hit the floor like a ton of financial insolvent bricks when you read about the new Jersey Shore cast salaries. For their fourth round of GTL, the gang will be pulling in “at least” $100,000 per episode each, even newbie Deena Nicole Cortese. EVEN DEENA. Take 100 grand, multiple it by the 13 episodes or so in a season, and you come up with a cool milli. Oh, sorry, we should have waited until everyone was done with their taxes before posting this. You aren’t going to be able to finish filing with TurboTax with your fist jammed through the middle of the computer screen like that.

Snooki, J-Woww, The Situation and Pauly D allegedly held out until MTV agreed to pay the big bucks, undoubtedly because they are the only cast members who the audience actually cares about. As a result, the amount everyone will earn per episode in Season 4 is ten times what they earned the first season. Of course, their salary doesn’t include the other hundreds of thousands they make per year through book deals, Jersey Shore spin-offs and Wrestlemania gigs. Before you rip your Masters in Social Work certificate in half, just remember: at the end of the day, they still have to be the cast of Jersey Shore. The fact that you don’t is worth more than your weight in gold (which is ironically exactly how much Snooki will be making).

by (@missmuttoo)

Brooke Mueller Needs To Pay Up For Her P.R.

The trouble just does not stop for this embattled duo. Although Charlie Sheen doesn’t think he’s in trouble, because his team’s “winning” (probably because of their diet of tigers blood). Charlie, who has tested clean on his drug tests, now has to take a psych evaluation to see his kids. Brooke’s probably singing a different tune because her troubles are more of the financial kind. And they’re big!

She needs to cough up over $20,000 to Capital Asset Protection on behalf of their client. The deal is that a P.R Firm, Rogers & Cowan, is pissed with Brooke because she hasn’t apparently paid them for the work they did while they were repping her. So to make sure they get their money — all $21,167.91 of it — they’ve got the CAP guys on the job! She was officially ordered to pay up on the 1st of March. Guess she just forgot, right? Right. On a completely different note, Brooke, the next time you step out to an event in a black dress… don’t wear a white bra, ok? As seen in the picture above, the result isn’t pretty.