“You were made to be ruled,” Thor villain Loki hisses at the beginning of the new Avengers trailer. Were we ever! Cleveland-posing-as-New York has never look better, or filled with more enormous green rage monsters, than it does when Scarlett Johansson, Chris Evans, Samuel L. Jackson and Jeremy Renner slip into their respective pair of skin-tight pants to fight evil.
Though, if we’re going to be honest here, the real star of the trailer would have to be Chris Hemsworth’s arms. Dang. Remember when Hemsworth got too ripped for his Thor costume? Well, apparently filmmakers came up with a solution that we all can enjoy come May 4, 2012: sleevelessness. In the meantime, you can enjoy the trailer’s five hottest shots of Chris’s insane arms. Consider your ticket to the gun show…comped.
The trailer for John Cusack’s The Raven is so Raven, the only way the film could be more Raven is if Raven-Symoné was cast as Poe. And why wasn’t she? The Disney star probably would have been a better pick to play the famous mystery author, considering Cusack seems to be on Bearded Autopilot for most of the trailer.
Set to be released March 9 of next year, the film revolves around Edgar Allen as he works with Baltimore authorities to solve a string of serial killings that seem to be based around his gruesome fictional stories, in addition to romancing a beautiful blond played by Alice Eve. Granted we’ve only seen a few minutes of the film, but part of us thinks they might as well as have cast Nic Cage in the lead role. Oh, now that would have been Raven.
This is pretty much what we imagine happened to all the mean girls after high school. And we’re loving it! The trailer for Charlize’s Theron’s Young Adult debuted today, and we are pretty psyched for its release on Decemeber 9. Theron reportedly plays Mavis Gary, a down-and-out young adult writer who returns to her home town to seduce her (now married)(and child-having) high school ex.
Hijinks and terribly unflattering lipstick ensue! We love her co-stars, the adorable Patrick Wilson and the excellent comedian Patton Oswalt, but based on the trailer, don’t you find Charlize’s character slightly less sympathetic than she was in Monster, even though technically speaking she was playing a serial killer in that one? Just us then? But she almost won an Oscar for it! Okay, we’ll stop.
The trailer for Michelle William’s My Week With Marilyn has arrived, and the Blue Valentine actress winks, dances and femme fatales it up with the best of them as America’s most iconic blonde. At least we can all agree, they got the wig right. They got the wig perfect. The film, due out November 4, follows the late great actress as she films The Prince and the Showgirl in England, feuds with co-star Sir Laurence Olivier and asks a production assistant to get her more than just coffee, if you get our drift. You … get our drift, right?
In case you weren’t feeling like watching Michelle Williams most likely kill it as Marilyn, the studio covered their bases by throwing in some skinny dipping, Emma Watson and of course Dame Judi Dench, the human equivalent of a skinny-dipping scene, talent-wise. Based solely on the trailer, do you think Michelle is looking at an Oscar nom, or is the only good part of the movie going to be those (admittedly excellent) wigs? The line “Excuse my horrible face” makes us think Michelle stands a good chance of getting a statuette.
Ugh, as soon as you see an adorable little boy in a knit cap, you know things are not going to pan out well in the Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close trailer. By the time you realize it’s happening on 9/11? Forget. About. It. We’re going to go ahead and just construct a shirt made out of Kleenex now, just to be ready when we see it in theaters. Based on the Jonathan Safran Foer book of the same name, Sandra Bullock and Tom Hanks star as mother and father to newcomer Thomas Horn. Once Hanks’ character passes away during the September 11 attacks, Horn has to scour New York for the lock that matches a mysterious key left him by his father. So…second Oscar for Sandra Bullock, then? All the Oscars for Sandra Bullock, then?
Like we’re going to pretend we didn’t enjoy seeing Katherine Heigl slap Jon Bon Jovi in the full New Year’s Eve trailer. You know we’re not made of stone. While the movie is still overstuffed with celebrities from Ashton Kutcher to Zac Efron, and Michelle Pfeiffer‘s wig still looks like it crawled out of a drainage ditch behind the mop factory, it’s hard not to like a film that’s basically 90 minutes of witty banter leading up to a bunch of A-lister smooching and falling in love. Count us in! Oh, except for the part when Abigail Breslin shows off her brasserie to her horrified mother Sarah Jessica Parker for no apparent reason. What was that about? Girl child is 15!
Shut it down. Shut the Academy Awards down now. Based on the Joyful Noise trailer, we know we don’t want to see Rooney Mara or Kirsten Dunst or whomever crying into their couture when Queen Latifah wins Best Actress in 2012. We also don’t want to see Brad Pitt sobbing into his beard when they turn the Best Actor category into another Best Actress category and give that one to Dolly Parton, because that is the only conceivable outcome we can foresee.
In addition to giving us Parton and Latifah mid-diva-off as competing candidates for director of a church choir, the film, due out on January 13, is seemingly jam-packed full of Oscar bait: Keke Palmer! Spot-on plastic surgery jokes! The fact Dolly Parton’s robe is inexplicably tailored to hug her ridiculous curves! Of course, we’re acting as if we ran the Academy Awards…and if that’s what we have to do to see this movie win Best Picture, well, then that is just what we’ll have to do.
Wow, is the dye job, Jersey accent and handgun worn by Katherine Heigl in the One For The Money trailer all it takes for us to forgive her of her movie sins (a.k.a. The Ugly Truth)? The film, due out in January 27, 2012, features the New Year’s Eve star as a Jersey bounty hunter and we find her way more appealing here than in her usual high-strung blond roles. We feel like we’re back in that honeymoon period right after we saw Knocked Up and before we saw, well, any of the rest of her movies.
Now, sure, we’ve all seen Katherine Heigl misfire a gun and/or fall down in front of her crush before (Killers, Life as We Know It, um, the rest of them) but for some reason a Jersey accent just makes it all less grating rather than more. Did we just uncover the secret behind why everyone (i.e. us) loves Jersey Shore? Let’s not forget Heigl’s dinner-shooting grandma, though. It’s hard to not to win us over if you’re sitting next to an elderly woman who accidentally puts a bullet into a roast chicken. If only Abduction had included a wacky gun-tottin’ grandma scene, Taylor Lautner might be singing a different tune right now.
The biopic, set mid-century, explores the life of the former head of the FBI and also addresses his allegedly being gay. Anything with Leonardo DiCaprio in the titular role, Dame Judi Dench as his mom, and Clint Eastwood directing screams Oscar contender to us. Do you agree?
Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Premium Rush trailer sure makes your ex-boyfriend’s career path seem way cooler than it actually was. It makes being a bike messanger seems more like being an international spy, except with no health insurance and no protection against the rain. Also…isn’t having no breaks in a city filled with opening cab doors just seem, well, foolish? Though what do we know; we aren’t accidental daredevil biker spies, now are we?
Costarring The Hangover Part II‘s Jamie Chung, the movie has the Dark Knight Rises actor charged with a very important, extremely mysterious package…that Gordon-Levitt must guard with his life. Seriously, was this film made by the Bike Messenger Association of America? That’s the only explanation for how awesome they make delivering packages look. UPS needs to look into film making, state.