Movie Trailers

by (@hallekiefer)

The Dark Knight Rises Teaser Trailer Makes You Wish It Was 2012 Already

The only problem with the new The Dark Knight Rises teaser trailer is a distinct and glaring lack of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman. How can we decided whether or not we should be excited for the next 11 months if we don’t even get a peek? The rest of the trailer will, of course, make you want to build a time machine and travel to July 2012, maybe a few days before it comes out so you can get tickets, and find parking for your extremely conspicuous time-traveling orb.

There are the crumbling skyscrapers a la the Dark Knight Rises poster, a clear shot of a creepy Tom Hardy as the villain Bane and a wheezing Gary Oldman, though no Joseph Gordon-Levitt or Marion Cotillard just yet either. Considering that the trailer declared the film the “epic conclusion” to the three-film series, we guess that means rumors of a Batman reboot are probably accurate. So….since you’re already in that time machine, would you mind stopping by 2013 and do whatever you can to prevent Arnold Schwarzenegger from getting re-cast as Mr. Freeze? Thanks a ton.

by (@hallekiefer)

Contagion Trailer Confirms Fear That Gwyneth Paltrow Will Cause Your Death

You always had a lurking suspicion that Gwyneth Paltrow would somehow be the death of you, though before today you assumed it would be the result of terminal eye rolling induced by a DVD of Country Strong, rather an unstoppable outbreak of the bird flu. Either way, now you can see your fear play out in real time in the new Contagion trailer, which has Paltrow turning up the sweaty jaundice as the first victim of a global pandemic that the CDC must race to contain. So basically it looks like Outbreak, but with an Academy Award-winning actress instead of a little escaped monkey.

Costarring Matt Damon, Laurence Fishburne, Kate Winslet and Jude Law, the thriller is currently scheduled for release September 9 of this year. Of course, it’s not fair to place all the blame on a diseased Paltrow. As Jude puts it in the trailer, “No one has to weaponize the bird flu. The birds are doing that.” So really the film seems more like The Happening, but with pigeons instead of tress. We warned you: whatever you do, do not let your eyes start rolling. There’s not telling if they can ever be stopped!

by (@hallekiefer)

Sean Penn’s This Must Be The Place Trailer Is 100 Different Movies Combined

What if someone cooked you all of your favorite foods, but instead of serving them individually, they mashed them up in a blender and threw it on Academy-Award winner Sean Penn? We hope that analogy accurately conveys how completely insane Penn’s This Must Be The Place trailer looks. Sure, there’s the aging rock star seeking out the Nazi who tortured his father. Of course. But who could have expected that folksy waitress, adorably fat and musically knowledgeable kid, and the ’70s-style knee socks Penn wears for his morning stretches? It’s like someone threw scripts from all of the Best Picture nominees of the last ten years into the shredder, and just filmed whatever came out.

That being said, we’ve been looking forward to this film, coming out later this year, more than Harry Potter or Breaking Dawn. We at least know enough to expect those films to be good. But neither the This Must Be The Place teaser trailer, full trailer nor musical sneak peek gives u s enough to know what to expect in the actual theater. Did we mention the Talking Heads appear in this movie? That’s it. We’re reserving our tickets now.

by (@hallekiefer)

Kermie Meets The Wolf Pack In The Muppets Teaser Trailer

In case you weren’t into Jason Segal and Amy Adams‘ sweet rom-com stylings in The Muppets trailer, maybe you’ll like the implied debauchery of the new Muppets teaser trailer, which features The Fuzzy Pack getting the same kind of dazed wake-up call Alan and the gang experience in The Hangover Part II trailer. We’re not going to blame Animal; we’re just saying, if anyone would case the same kind of mayhem, it’s him.

Also released is the official movie synopsis, which fleshes out the film’s plot. After the Muppet Theater is threatened by an oil baron played by Chris Cooper (love it already), Segel and Adams must rush to bring together a Muppets reunion benefit to save the building. Since the last film, the puppet players have all found new careers: “Fozzie now performs with a Reno casino house band called the Moopets, Miss Piggy is a plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris, Animal is in a Santa Barbara clinic for anger management, and Gonzo is a high-powered plumbing magnate.” We know this teaser is just a parody, but the slow-motion action and gritty surroundings are pretty spot-on for a Hangover spoof. Now, which movie has a greater number of hands up the main characters’ butts? That’s something we’ll have to compare side-by-side after we see them.

by (@JordanRuntagh)

The Five Funniest Females Of The Summer

With summer just around the corner, so many articles are trying to convince us to get in shape and show off our beach bodies. Why go through all that torture? Treat yourself right and go to a movie instead! You can’t get sunburned in a theater and Milk Duds are an excellent source of Vitamin…something. Not enough proof for ya? Fine. You know how they say that laughter is the best medicine? Well these five ladies are gonna give you a double dose of  pure hilarity on the big screen this summer. So really you owe it to yourself to check ‘em out. Which one is going to give you the biggest chuckle for your movie dollar? Well let’s take a look and see!

Funny Femme: Mila Kunis
Movie: Friends With Benefits
Opening: July 22nd
Mila Kunis needs no introduction to comedy connoisseurs. She probably has the most impressive resume of anyone on this list; staring not only as Jackie in That 70s Show, but also as the voice of Meg Griffin in the legendary Family Guy. She brought her comedy chops to the big screen in 2008’s Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and just recently blew all of our minds with her stint in Black Swan. The performance may not have earned her an Oscar, but maybe we can make up for it by giving her the coveted “Funniest Female Of The Summer 2011″ award for Friends With Benefits!

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