by (@katespencer)

Katie Holmes Cuddles With Suri

We’ve been a little hard on Katie Holmes these days, what with the rolled husband jeans and and all. But these pics of her and Suri spending a Sunday in Manhattan together are too cute for words. We take back everything bad we’ve ever said (for a few minutes)! [Photos: WireImage]

by (@katespencer)

Ellen And Portia Make It Official

Ellen DeGeneres and Porta de Rossi were married this Saturday at their home in California. Both women wore Zac Posen and exchanged Neil Lane rings in front of just 19 people, including their mommies. The paparazzi crashed the big event with their giant lenses, which is thankfully how we can bring you the above photo.

[Photo: INF]


Roseanne: Angelina Is Evil, Brad Is Vacuous

Looks like it’s time to breakout those Team Jolie t-shirts again! No, it’s not another battle over Brad Pitt‘s love, but a straight out attack from the always-entertaining lunatic Roseanne Barr. Roseanne had her nails out when she took to her blog to rip Angelina Jolie a new one for not endorsing Barack Obama.

In a post from Friday, Roseanne addresses Jon Voight (the actress’ father): “Your evil spawn Angelina Jolie and her vacuous hubby Brad Pitt make about $40 million a year in violent, psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more.”

Read more…

by (@katespencer)

Lindsay’s Secret Lesbian Life Led Her To Snort Coke

Courtenay Semel is clearly not satisfied with all the press she’s getting these days from tapping Tila Tequila, so she’s now speaking to the respectable British tabloid News of the World about the good ol’ days when she and Lindsay Lohan were an item. Semel said of their torrid affair, “At the time she was terrified her career would be over if she revealed her sexual tendencies. But then Samantha came on to the scene and I was dropped.”

Courtenay then goes into great detail about the lesbian life of Lindsay. Her accusations?

  • Lindsay nailed a bunch of dudes to suppress her urges with women and give off the impression that she was straight (and also slutty).
  • Got hooked on drugs as a way of escaping her “double life.”
  • The starlet was doing it with Courtenay and Sam at the same time.
  • A friend of Court’s said the two would “do lines of cocaine in the toilets then head home and fall into bed together,” and that the actress found Samantha to be a stable influence in her life, supposedly calling her “the father I never had.”

Which means that now, Lindsay is boning her “dad.” [News of the World]

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@katespencer)

John Mayer Opens Up About Pitying Jennifer Aniston

Dear John Mayer and other men with tattoo sleeves,

Here’s a tip from your female friends at Scandalist – after dumping us, please just go quietly into the night. Speaking out in our favor only makes us look kinda pathetic. We know you think it’s all noble to speak kindly of us ladies post-break up, but we all know it’s just to make you feel better about dumping us (most likely because you realized it’s more fun banging carefree 21-year olds than cuddling with us older ladies and discussing kids). Frankly, we do not need your pity, thank you very much. In case you forgot, chicks like Jennifer Aniston are richer than you and can buy all the pity they need, plus a Birkin bag or two to replace you.

Here’s the dumb crap Mayer had to say about his ex Aniston this weekend – to the paparazzi of all people:

“If you guys are going to run stuff and run every lie under the sun, have somebody stand up for somebody. Have me as a man who ended a relationship stand here and write some truth. Have me stand up for somebody and write that Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I’ve ever met. She’s one of the most lovely people I’ve ever met in my life and I’m going through something that’s a very personal thing and you have to give that up. You have to give everything up because you can’t have it all and it sucks. I’m sorry that the story’s not interesting. But it’s about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she’s great.”

[Photo: FilmMagic]

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: Suri Cruise Is Not In The Mood

  • Jennifer Aniston is not dating Selma Blair‘s hot ex-boyfriend. Sucks for her. [DListed]
  • The Jonas Brothers look a lot hotter with pornstaches. [Seriously? OMG!]
  • Celebrate summer Fridays with these pictures of Diddy on a jet ski. []
  • John Mayer cheated on Jennifer Aniston twice(!!!) before giving him the boot. Um – whatever happened to first strike and you’re out? [CelebSlam]
  • Suri Cruise is lookin’ a little bratty these days, dontcha think? Eh, maybe all the cameras make her cranky. [JustJared]
  • Jay-Z and Beyonce are a boring married couple. [Bossip]
  • Earth’s Facebook news feed is effing amazing. Her friend John Edward‘s just switched his relationship status to “It’s Complicated.” OMG! [CollegeHumor]

[Photo: WireImage]

by (@katespencer)

LisaRaye And Ex-Hubby Land In Hospital After Bite Fight

American actress LisaRaye and her husband, Turks and Caicos prime minister Michael Misick have been having some problems as of late. Misick was accused of raping a woman in April of this year and soon after their two year marriage was rumored to be on the rocks, after Misick was spotted with BET veejay Rosci, who supposedly entertained girlfriends at his (and LisaRaye’s) house. On Wednesday, the prime minister officially announced that he and LisaRaye were separated and he is pursuing a divorce. Fairly standard scandal fare, but it gets better! Last night LisaRaye allegedly went to their house and a major confrontation ensued. By the end of the night, they were each at separate hospitals on the island, both being treated for bite wounds. They bit each other. Adults. With their teeth. And then of course, they released statements:

  • Michael says: “LisaRaye, her cousin Phillip Travis, and her publicist, Lynn Jetter, assaulted the guard at the premier’s home, proceeded to ransack the house, and then assaulted the premier and his sister. The premier at no time had any physical contact with LisaRaye.”
  • LisaRaye says, “An attempt was made by and on behalf of my husband to first prevent my entry into our home and then, later, to make me leave our home by force. I shall continue to assist the police force with its inquiries.” [NYDN]

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

Battle Of The Hot Hollywood Lesbian Couples

Hollywood’s skankiest came out last night for the opening of the new Apple Lounge, and the lady-on-lady couplings were in full effect. Scandalist fave Lindsay Lohan cropped topped her way on the red carpet to join Samantha Ronson, while camera-hog Tila Tequila showed up with her current gal pal and LiLo ex, Courtenay Semel. We’ve got both of the penis-free pairs below – feel free to pick a favorite to obsess over. (Are crop tops going to be a trend? Someone let us know so we can order an ab buster to hide in our closet.)

[Photos: Getty, WireImage]

by (@katespencer)

You May Now Kiss The Brides

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi are walking down the aisle this weekend to become wife and wife, so run out and overnight those toaster-ovens to LA! The super-couple have been dating since 2004, and announced their plans to wed soon after marriage became legal for gay couples in California this years. Hurray for laws! Ellen said of her future wife, “She’s taught me lessons about myself, and I feel like I’ve taught her.”

Awwwww-dorable. There’s no word on if one of the brides will take the other’s last name; our preference would be some sort of hybrid, like Ellen and Portia DeDe Generossi. We’re totally cool with them stealing that one from us. [Us]

[Photo: FilmMagic]

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: Katie Kicks It LiLo Style

  • Katie Holmes was caught dressing like Lindsay Lohan. What would Tommy say? [DListed]
  • 10 Videos of Cats Swimming – better than the Olympics, cuter than Michael Phelps! []
  • The Awkward Rap will make you feel better about that one time you did that thing. [CollegeHumor]
  • Marilyn Manson is dressed like Michael Jackson, and no, it ain’t pretty. [Seriously? OMG!]
  • Harlow Madden is the cutest baby in the world. Suck it, Shiloh. [PopSugar]
  • Good ol’ Audrina Patridge spotted out and about with a new cute boy. [ICYDK]