Let’s pour one out for the latest random Hollywood couple to call it quits. Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong have ended their magical love affair. It’s shocking, considering all the things they had in common, like their bank accounts and…their money. They were practically the same person! Still, we are relieved to know that there is now animosity or anger between the two, says a pal, “just sadness.”
We know who’s not sad right now – the single celebs standing in line waiting to date these two. Drew Barrymore and Justin Long just broke up, wouldn’t it be fun if they each rebounded with Lance and Kate? They’re all running out of famous people to bone and they gotta get their drama fix from somewhere! [Us]
Where’s LaBeouf? Why, he’s busy ruining that perfect little Hollywood career by getting piss drunk, hopping in your car and crashing into another driver while attempting a left hand turn at 3AM. Shia LaBeouf rolled his car early Sunday morning and seriously busted up his hand, resulting in a hospital visit, surgery and a one-month hiatus from filming Transformers 2. Oh – and of course, a felony DUI. The Beef was arrested last November after he wandered into a Chicago Walgreens all drunk and refused to leave. Obviously, he’s one classy dude.
The Beefster is trying to tell us something: he doesn’t want to be rich and famous, he wants to end up working at a Dunkin Donuts by the time he’s thirty so he can reattempt a career one day on some sh*tballs reality TV show. F*ck Michael Bay and Transformers! Shia wants to be just like the entire cast of Diff’rent Strokes – so far, he’s on his way!
That’s video of Shia’s overturned car above. It’s a regular PSA on why not to be a drunk douchebag, don’t ya think? After the jump, Shia’s mug shot …
Sorry, regular peeps. There is absolutely no chance you’ll be considered for the role of god-father to the new golden gods, Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt. Super famous kids need super famous godparents, and Bono‘s getting the job, soley for the reason that it’s pretty f*cking cool to get money on your birthday every year from the dude who sings “With Or Without You.” Also, Brad and Angie are star f*ckers. Need examples?
1. A source says: “They have been friends for years. Brad is a massive U2 fan and told Bono how much he admired him when they were introduced at a party a few years back.”
2. The same source reveals: “Angelina is inspired by Bono’s humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson. Ali’s given Angelina some clothes from her ethical clothing range Edun.”