Dear John Mayer and other men with tattoo sleeves,
Here’s a tip from your female friends at Scandalist – after dumping us, please just go quietly into the night. Speaking out in our favor only makes us look kinda pathetic. We know you think it’s all noble to speak kindly of us ladies post-break up, but we all know it’s just to make you feel better about dumping us (most likely because you realized it’s more fun banging carefree 21-year olds than cuddling with us older ladies and discussing kids). Frankly, we do not need your pity, thank you very much. In case you forgot, chicks like Jennifer Aniston are richer than you and can buy all the pity they need, plus a Birkin bag or two to replace you.
Here’s the dumb crap Mayer had to say about his ex Aniston this weekend – to the paparazzi of all people:
“If you guys are going to run stuff and run every lie under the sun, have somebody stand up for somebody. Have me as a man who ended a relationship stand here and write some truth. Have me stand up for somebody and write that Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I’ve ever met. She’s one of the most lovely people I’ve ever met in my life and I’m going through something that’s a very personal thing and you have to give that up. You have to give everything up because you can’t have it all and it sucks. I’m sorry that the story’s not interesting. But it’s about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she’s great.”
Tomorrow, August 16th, is Madonna‘s birthday, and the queen of pop and pointy bras is turning the big 5-0 in people years. But don’t let that fool you! Madge and her BFFs the high priests of Kaballah have supposedly determined that her spiritual age is just 36! Of course this means all gifts of t-shirts that read: “50 and over the hill” will absolutely not be accepted. Hope you kept those gift receipts. [Mirror]
[Photo: Getty Images]
Hollywood’s skankiest came out last night for the opening of the new Apple Lounge, and the lady-on-lady couplings were in full effect. Scandalist fave Lindsay Lohan cropped topped her way on the red carpet to join Samantha Ronson, while camera-hog Tila Tequila showed up with her current gal pal and LiLo ex, Courtenay Semel. We’ve got both of the penis-free pairs below – feel free to pick a favorite to obsess over. (Are crop tops going to be a trend? Someone let us know so we can order an ab buster to hide in our closet.)
[Photos: Getty, WireImage]
Contrary to rumors that have been staining the pure lil’ world wide web, Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are not broken up. Look – here they are at Nobu 57 in New York City on Tuesday night! See they are totally together – just really f*cking sick of each other.
A bunch of tabloids are sick of talking about the Brangelina twins and have focused their attention on another pair – Ali Lohan‘s breasts. Nevermind that the kid is fourteen awkward years old, rags such as Us Weekly are encouraging us all to ponder if her tweenage titties are real or fake. Let’s take a minute to all shudder together. We may be nosy gossip hounds, but we are not pervs, nor are we interested in ruining this kid’s life any further – her mom has already done enough of that. No one escapes puberty unscathed, but Ali is basically f*cked from her life in the (horny) public eye. But you don’t need us to tell you, just listen to her big sister Lindsay! Check out what she wrote on her Myspace Celebrity blog – who knew LiLo knew big words like “disconcerting?!”
i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
so, here’s the visual…me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me…one of them being, “Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?”
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!my response simply was, “Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!”i was caught out of nowhere so i didn’t really come up with the proper response at the time.. there’s many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money!All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet!It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye… i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.
in a more positive light…
i got some great clothes from alexander wang and i miss samantha cuz she’s out of town
have a wonderful day everyone~
til next time..
[Photo: Getty Images]
Jamie-Lynn Spears‘ baby daddy is cheating on her with some 28-year old chick who kinda looks like her big sis. Hot. [DListed]
Ian Ziering is too good for 90210, but not too good for unemployment! [Seriously? OMG!]
The 10 Best “To Catch a Predator” Moments – hilarious and creepy, all at once. But seriously, stay off the internet kids. [BWE.tv]
Why is Mary-Kate Olsen getting all snuggly with Nicole Richie‘s boo? [PopSugar]
Diddy claims he’d win a gold medal in a competition to see who can have sex the longest. Any volunteers for partners? [Bossip]
[Photo: Getty Images]
Pete loves John. John loves Kanye. Pete loves Kanye. John loves Pete. Here at Scandalist, we’re crowning a new group of hyper-obnoxious oversharers. The mutual appreciation society that is John Mayer, Pete Wentz and Kanye West will henceforth be known as the Blog Hogs — like the Rat Pack with less talent. Or the Frat Pack without Will Ferrell.
For the past several months, Pete, John and ‘Ye have been compulsively posting to their blogs, and more than once the topic has turned to one another…
In an amazing feat of self-control, Britney Spears recently sat down with OK! magazine for a photoshoot and interview and did not wipe chicken wing grease on anything! She even spoke – without a British accent – to the rag, and revealed that she might just have an ounce of sanity under that weave after all! When asked about if she’d support her two sons pursuing a career in showbiz, Mama Brit said:
“I’d rather not. But but I’d love them unconditionally if they wanted to. I’d just as soon they have a more normal childhood.”
It’s a nice gesture and all, but Britney has already given them two years of f*cking crazy, so it might be kinda hard to give them that “normal childhood” she’s craving. She probably should have thought of this new mothering plan back when she was locking herself naked in the bathroom as the police were circling her mansion. But, you know. They’re probably to young to remember that crazy sh*t. [MSNBC]
[Photo: Getty Images]