by (@katespencer)

#17: Kurt Cobain Commits Suicide

Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain charmed the world with his mopey outlook and striped t-shirts. It was a brief romance. Fans barely had time to memorize the lyrics on Nirvana’s third album before Cobain checked out, killing himself with a 20-gauge shotgun blast.

Conspiracy theories abounded. Was he moved to suicide by some bad heroin? Was he murdered? Skeptics pointed to facts such as the massive amount of heroin in Cobain’s system, which would have sapped him of the strength to pull a trigger. Handwriting experts also scrutinized the suicide note to see if Cobain really had written it.

Only the angels Cobain now sleeps with know the answer, and we have it on good authority that they’re Neil Sedaka fans. So while Cobain tunes his harp to “Laughter in the Rain,” we’re left with pondering the continuing spectacle of Eddie Vedder and the continuing decline of Courtney “Time for another box set” Love. (She’s said to have sold 25% of her interest in the back catalog for “an undisclosed sum”). Oh, what Nevermind hath wrought. — Charles Bottomley


#13: Kanye West: ‘George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black People’

Kanye West usually engages his mouth before his brain. Case in point: A recent negative review of his live show prompted a blog rant the likes of which hadn’t been seen since Courtney Love bought an iMac. But the “Stronger” rapper spoke truth to power when he publicly dissed George Bush during a 2005 benefit for Hurricane Katrina victims.

“I hate the way they portray us in the media,” he blurted to the camera, referring to the media at large. “You see a black family, it says, ‘They’re looting.’ You see a white family, it says, ‘They’re looking for food.’ … America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off, as slow as possible.”

As addled co-presenter Mike Myers did his impression of Bambi in the headlights, West brought it home: “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” Cue dead air. — Charles Bottomley


#11: John Lennon Murdered

Even in the unsettling world of rock star deaths, few were as shocking as the murder of Beatle John Lennon, shot outside his Manhattan apartment in 1980 by a fan who had asked for the singer’s autograph hours earlier.

Thanks to both the worldwide success of the Beatles and Lennon’s strident political activism (which almost got him extradited from his adopted country in the early ’70s), many presumed that his death was politically motivated, coming so soon after the release of his first album since 1975. But killer Mark David Chapman was driven only by psychological delusions and a hunger for fame. Despite protests from his lawyer, Chapman refused to plead insanity, and was found guilty of second-degree murder.

Lennon’s tragically shortened life has since been the subject of countless documentaries and books, and Chapman eventually got his own biopic, the flop Chapter 27, starring Jared Leto. Chapman, who was sentenced to 20 years to life, has been denied parole three times despite an “exemplary disciplinary record.” Because of the high profile of his crime, it’s unlikely he’ll ever be released from prison.

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: The Attack Of The Hot Hollywood Clones

Zac Efron and Chace Crawford are basically the same exact dude with two different, douchey names. []

Katie Holmes was allowed out of her robot cage to steal Lindsay’s leggings and rehearse her new Broadway show. [DListed]

Whoever believes that babies don’t come from storks hasn’t seen Nicole Kidman‘s post-pregnancy bod. Did she botox her bump away? [Seriously? OMG!]

Justin Timberlake might host the Oscars. We have a feeling Britney Spears will be watching Seinfeld reruns that night. [ICYDK]

Kate Hudson still likes hanging out with her long-haired kid. [PopSugar]

Lil Kim got drunk for her birthday. The Queen B loves booze. [Bossip]

by (@katespencer)

Kids Dress Like Adults At Teen Choice Awards

The teen clones were out in full force last night at the Teen Choice Awards, contorting their legs into weird poses and grabbing at their hips to see just how damn bony they really are. Also, peace is in this year!

Unfortunately, our celebrity kiddie pool wasted this opportunity to dress like the reckless, rebellious, fad-loving followers that they are and instead went for a look way beyond their years. Cute mini-dresses were in, Paris Hilton skank suits of yesteryear were sadly out. Also, Gossip Girls star Ed Westwick wore a man scarf. Nothing says Teen Choice like choosing to dress like a newly divorced 35-year old mom desperate to meet some hot arse at her local ladies night. We’re talking about you, Ed.

by (@katespencer)

Britney + Bodyguard = Love or Lies?

We’re a little wary of anything that might derail Britney Spears‘ progress as a human being – she’s come such a long way since she was locking herself in the bathroom naked with her baby. But just as crazy as Brit is, she is also horny, and girlfriend’s gotta get her bone on. So Brit’s allegedly banging her bodyguard, an Israeli soldier (!!!) named Lee who’s been protecting the star for six months.

In the past, Sam Lutfi would have uttered some weird comment about dating the dude, or worse, say nothing at all. But luckily, Britney 2.0 has a manager again! And good ol’ Larry Rudolph told Access Hollywood that “There is no truth to this at all. Britney is 100% single.” Even if she is bangin’ the bodyguard, we’ll never know otherwise. Which is really how it should be. [Photo: Splash News]


Gretchen Wilson Rips Off The Black Crowes?

It’s surprising that ’70s rock revivalists The Black Crowes would be suing anyone for copyright infringement (Rod Stewart might get ideas), but the verse of Gretchen Wilson’s “Work Hard, Play Harder” — prominently featured in ads for Holly Hunter’s Saving Grace — sure sounds a lot like the verse from the band’s 1990 hit “Jealous Again”. The band —  they’re still around! — has filed suit, but their manager hopes they will be able to reach an agreement without going to a judge (either way, ch-ching!). We just hope this drama won’t delay the release of Wilson’s awesomely titled I Got Your Country Right Here, due in October.

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: Seezinz’ Skinz

Flavor of Love 3‘s Seezinz follows the lead of other FOL greats and shows us some skin. Thanks. [Bossip]

Amy Winehouse‘s dad is in denial, and thinks a “friend” spiked his daughter’s drink with the drug ecstasy. And the friend’s name rhymes with Mamy Minemouse. [DListed]

Yes, we are made of stone, but even we cracked at the cuteness of Matthew McConaughey and his baby. [Seriously? OMG!]

These Gossip Girl guys might be getting all LoRonSon on each other. Or maybe we all just wish they were. [WWTDD]

Hef‘s girlfriends look really…plastic. Still. [ONTD]

by (@katespencer)

K-Fed Loves Living Off Of Britney’s Bank

We have to hand it to Kevin Federline. He didn’t seem that smart back in the day when he was giving Britney piggyback rides on the beach while chain smoking Salems, but his master plan of knocking Brit up with some cute kids, makin’ her crazy, and then dumping her ass and stealing her millions really worked! Bravo, young man.

K-Fed was busy getting his golf on this weekend – where he smoked cigs on the course like the class ex Mr. Spears that he is – and told People, “Been having a good summer, I can’t complain.”

He declined to comment on his recent “raise” in child support from $15,000 a month to $20,000, of course, but we’d guess it’s pretty damn awesome. He did say his kids are “good,” which is obvious to anyone with a brain. They don’t have to live with crazy mommy anymore, which sounds pretty good to us!

by (@katespencer)

All Obama Needs Is A Vag Flash

As the old saying goes, politics are dirty. But taking it down to Paris and Britney’s level? That’s just straight up crotch flashin’ nasty. And yet that’s just what presidential nominee Senator John McCain has done in his new ad (watch it above), comparing Barack Obama mania to the paparazzi-fueled hype that surrounds Hollywood’s hottest tramps (who really aren’t all that hot anymore).

John McCain has got to be kidding himself if he thinks anyone is going to believe that Obama is just like Hollywood’s tramp army. Our country digests as many tabloids as they do Big Macs, and we know our celebs! Aside from the fact that Obama’s missing $3000 worth of hair extensions, the only thing this guy has flashed in his life are his fist-bumping skills.

We’ll change our tune when Michelle Obama is replaced by Adnan Ghalib. [via Huffington Post]