Sorry if you haven’t watched this week’s New Girl yet, but Fox has been promoting this thing all week long, so get out of your cave already! Just halfway into season two of the Fox comedy, Zooey Deschanel’s Jess and Jake Johnson’s Nick shared a super-steamy lip lock at the end of the episode, deceptively called “Cooler.” At first, I screamed, “Noooooo!” — worried that it meant an early resolution to the will-they-or-won’t they tension between the roommates, which can sometimes be the kiss of death for a show. But after reading executive producer Liz Meriweather’s interview with the Hollywood Reporter, my fears are mostly allayed. She felt like a drawn-out tease wouldn’t work in this situation. “I just think it doesn’t correspond to real-life relationships, especially for people the ages of the characters on New Girl, because they are so complicated these days,” she explained. “And I don’t think a kiss means a relationship is going to happen. I don’t think bringing two characters together takes away story possibility; I think it adds a lot of story possibility. Keeping them apart, at this point, felt more fake then bringing them together for me.”
So Jess and Sam invited Nick and Angie to a cabin for a couples’ weekend on New Girl tonight, even though no one in their right mind would ever do such a thing, especially without Winston and Schmidt. For shame. While we were obsessed with Jess’s woodland beauty, we have to pay homage to Winston’s faux crack memory before we get into the fashionings:
“Winston: I remember when I was a kid, me, my mom, and her mom, and, well, her mom and then her mom and of course her mom and then my little cousin Peanut. It all went back to that flaming trash can where we would sit around and harmonize, just “Shoo-oop!” One of those nights I remember, we ran out of crack. I would grab my scarf and run down the the liquor store where thugs hung out and try to get a good deal on some crack. They would give me a good price, but I’ll tell you what. There’s not thing like the feel of a fire, a fresh-baked cookie and the sweet, sweet taste of crack in your lungs.”
After watching Spider-Man: The Animated Series in 1997, we decided Venom and Mary Jane Watson were actually a better couple than Mary Jane and Spider-Man, and we haven’t looked back since. In case you’re new to the Internet, pretty much every TV show, movie or otherwise fictional couple has a huge fan base swooning over their relationship. It might be a well-established couple or the characters might have met once to sign for a UPS package, it doesn’t matter. Someone is obsessed with them declaring their eternal love. This is a phenomenon known as shipping, and it is 75% of the reason anyone even knows about Twilight.
Maybe we just spent too much time on Tumblr over the last twelve months (we really, really did!), but 2012 seemed like a year where shipping was front and center. From New Girl to Sherlock, everywhere we looked shippers were building onto the fictional universes they loved, mostly with smooching. So we decided to pay homage to the most passionately shipped relationships of this year as part of our Best of 2012. Don’t see your favorite couple? We probably just didn’t know about them yet, so inform us in the comments! 2013 is almost upon us and we want to feel that Venom/Mary Jane feeling again!
With Jessica Alba, Ed Helms and Megan Fox announcing the nominees for the 2013 Golden Globe Awards, we thought maybe there would be a few more unconventional choices this year. But alas, there was not a single Magic Mike nomination in sight. Instead, historical fare like Lincoln, Argo and Django Unchained led the pack on the movie side, while Game Change and Homeland took over on TV. With Les Miserables and Silver Linings Playbook dominating the comedy/musical categories, we’re kind of leaving it up to the older ladies of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel — and Jack Black — to make this a less serious occasion. Also, apparently we need to check out Salmon Fishing in Yemen, since that little-seen Ewan McGregor/Emily Blunt flick nabbed a few nods (and we’re trying not to hold Beasts of the Southern Wild’s snub against it). But we are happy that New Girl, Girls, Downton Abbey and Nashville are bringing some awesome girl power to the event, which will be appropriately hosted by Amy Poehler and Tina Fey on January 15. Check out the full list of nominees below.
Best Picture, Drama
Life of Pi
Zero Dark Thirty
Best Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical
Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Salmon Fishing In The Yemen
Silver Linings Playbook
Ben Affleck, Argo
Kathryn Bigelow, Zero Dark Thirty
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained
Best Actor, Musical or Comedy
Jack Black, Bernie
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Ewan MCGregor, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Bill Murray, Hyde Park on Hudson
Best Actress, Musical or Comedy
Emily Blunt, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Judi Dench, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Maggie Smith, Quartet
Meryl Streep, Hope Springs
Between the amazing sequined belt on that excellent white party dress, Schmidt’s lap dance skills and Zooey D breaking it down carol-style, tonight’s ep of New Girl was the best White Anglo-Saxon Winter Privilege Night gift a person could ask for! While we’re sort of peeved they never made it to the Gorilla Twin’s annual thump-thump (is that like a kiki for bros, maybe?), we’re glad we got to spent the night riding along with the gang, like a little cranberry trapped inside Winston’s ear canal:
We love that this week’s New Girl episode was basically a love letter to Schmidt’s beautiful suits, what with their slim lines and emaciated ties. It goes without saying that said suits are destroyed in a bathtub accident, but we’re sure Schmidt will be back in his former sartorial glory soon. He spent all that time on his Suit Folder, after all! This way he just has to replace every…single…item…
Haha, thank goodness for all the cute outfits on New Girl tonight. It was a great distraction from this week’s existential rumination on the end of fertility, and the panic it inspired! Our single favorite moment had to be Jess psyching herself up to find out how many eggs she had left. It was both perfectly acted, and made our ovaries ache with jealousy that we don’t own the sick red printed dress she was wearing. A lot of this week’s episode made our ovaries ache, now that we think about it…
How did no one mention Winston’s pink and purple combo on last night’s New Girl? The man was wearing a lavender sweater over a pink Oxford and Nick didn’t zing him? There must be a zinger on the cutting room floor somewhere, because we were waiting for it the entire time. Luckily Jamie Lee Curtis and Rob Reiner stopped by as Jess’s adorable divorced parents so we were able to distract ourselves, but still. This is not Easter! Earth tones, people. Everything else in this holiday episode was adorable but where was Schmidt on that one?
Last night’s New Girl was a Very Special Episode dedicated to a very important, very magical time in every woman’s life: unemployment. Oh, and getting your period. Jess might have reached her breaking point trying to wrangle PMS and job interviews simultaneously, but at least we got to see her full wardrobe of robes and pajama sets! Honestly though, we’re ready for Jess to wear human clothes again. We’ll wear the sweatpants while Zooey Deschanel wears the Peter Pan collar that gets stuck in the hand dryer, got it?
After seeing last night’s New Girl, we can all agree on one thing: Zooey Deschanel dressed as a zombie is probably the cutest thing of all time. (Other than Schmidt dressed as Matthew McConaughey in Magic Mike, of course.) Jess should have just eaten Sam’s brain after *spoiler alert* he turns her down for an actual date (we were genuinely bummed out!), but at least we got an awesome episode filled with amazing costumes first. Not that any could hold a blood-covered candle to Jess’s, of course…