Maria Menounos probably won’t be making our list of Top Ten Most Shy Celebs. Last we checked in with her, the DWTS hottie was stripping down to a bikini in the middle of Times Square! And on Friday she hosted Extra clad in her skimpy dance attire. So it’s not a huge surprise to learn that she’s now posing nude within the pages of Allure. The sizzling yet tasteful snap features Maria sprawled across a fancy bed wearing nothing but a blingy bracelet.
Debra Messing also dressed (wayyy) down for an “au natural” photo in the style mag, giving Maria some sexy competition. The 43-year-old Smash star looked stunning in a similar pose, lounging on a bed, bedazzled in jewels and not much else. So our question is: Who didn’t wear it better?
Color us shocked that none of the ladies of Jersey Shore have ever posed for Playboy. Sure, JWoww did an issue of Maxim, but even then she still managed to keep her one-piece on. If any of the roommates is going to show off her meatballs, however, it’s not Sammi. “My boobs are real, they will sag to the floor,” she told HDNet, shooting down recent Playboy rumors. “I just feel weird about my boobs. … But I don’t know. I don’t know if that’s the right direction you want to go in.” Girl, no. You’ve just been around JWoww’s epic beach ball-sized implants for too long. Monster truck tires would feel saggy next to such magnificence.
Not that Sammi doesn’t keep abreast (see what we did there?) of which celebs are posing in their birthday suit. “She looked fabulous. She looked amazing,” she gushed about Lindsay Lohan Playboy shoot, before admitting, “You never know what tomorrow will bring.” Girl, again, no. If even Snooki isn’t doing it, neither should you. So…Deena will be first then, right?
Call us old fashioned, but if we were tweeting topless photos of ourselves to fans (and we’re not saying we haven’t), we would at least try to keep things PG-13. We might, for example, actually look at our pictures with our eyes before posting them. If only 90210‘s AnnaLynne McCord had thought to put on her nipple vision goggles while posting a Twitpic last Friday, she might have noticed she was sending more than just a shout-out to stunned fan @Meganrae. “This is for you @meganraee You rock! Xxx,” the actress tweeted, along with a full-on nipslip. We don’t even like to take our underwear off in the shower, so we don’t really understand how this happened. Then again, we’ve ruined so many bras that way. There has to be some middle ground, people!
McCord has since swapped out the picture of the girls (well, girl, rather) for a cropped version of the photo. “<333 ahh thanks! you are so sweet! and thats definitely a great picture!,” @Meganrae graciously tweeted back. We guess it was a nice gesture. Let no one say AnnaLynne doesn’t have really amazing manners!
[Photo: Getty Images/AnnaLynne McCord's Twitter]
You know when your dog proudly deposits a chewed-up vole in your sneaker thinking he’s giving you a gift, when in reality the sight of it makes you scream, flap your hands around and suppress your gag reflex? On a related note, Hugh Hefner is now bragging about how he pushed for, and got, full nudity in Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy photos. “I think it was essentially mama and the folks around her that kept pushing for less nudity,” Hef told E! News. “And I said, ‘We’re doing a nude pictorial here. We’re going to do it in a very classy way and we’re going to do it in a way in which it will not be forgotten.’” Um, a situation in which Dina Lohan gives her daughter excellent life advice? You better believe we’ll never forget it.
While the Playboy founder acknowledges that he was the brains behind the Marilyn Monroe-inspired shoot (“The pictorial and the conceptâ€¦came from me,” he says), Hef also reveals that he had second thoughts about the photos given Lohan’s tumultuous personal life. “It really came as a surprise to me,” He admits. “I kind of had mixed emotions about it initially. . . I wasn’t quite sure where she was at in her life, obviously. It depends on whether it’s Tuesday or Thursday.” Looks like it was a Tuesday! Or a Thursday? Whichever day makes it less less awful for Hugh Hefner to suggest you take your pants off.
Bruce Willis is strapping on his chest holster as we speak. And Demi? She’s still got that lean muscle mass from G.I. Jane. We assume they’re both currently running Terminator 2 style to the headquarters of fashion site StyleLikeU, now that Scout Willis has posed pantsless for a new artsy-fartsy video. Emphasis on the fartsy.
In case baring her butt wasn’t enough scandal to besmirch the Moore-Willis family name, Scout also penned the text accompanying the black-and-white film. “As I slammed the door to the way of life I had become conditioned to after twenty years of inundation and repression in the form of my childhood home I let out the most primal of screams,” she writes on the StyleLikeU site. “And with this scream the most sudden release of the maddening mantras of an upbringing I had yet to face the horrors of.” Ah, but could those horrors possibly be worse than spending Christmas with your family after the entire world has seen your naked bottom? Could it?
[Photo: Splash News Online/StyleCaster.com]
Ellen DeGeneres, no! Seeing Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy photos on your show is not the kind of fun we want to have a little of today. “Lindsay has agreed to do one media interview during the on-sale period of her issue, and has chosen Ellen. Lindsay will not be doing any additional interviews to promote her pictorial,” a Playboy rep informed the New York Post. Ugh, we just want to see Ellen dancing around all goofy in her Vans, no aiding and abetting what seems like the next stop on the downward spiral of Lohan’s career!
We guess now that Oprah has moved on to bigger and infinitely better things, Ellen would be our first pick to show off our new “project,” too. That being said, what is DeGeneres getting out of this?Â The moms that tune into her show don’t want to hear about Lilo’s nudie photos; they want to buy her a sandwich before slapping Dina Lohan across the face. On top of all that, this is a real missed opportunity for Maury! That being said, be sure to set your Tivos now for December 15. You know none of us would dare miss it.
Things are probablyâ€¦not great around the McDermott-Spelling household right now. We’re assuming life must hard enough for Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling, what with new-born Hattie Margaret joining the family last month. All the crying, the constant breast feeding, and the non-stop diaper explosions must be exhausting, but hey, at least there aren’t any accidental topless photos of Tori floating around Twitter. Oh wait.
Last night Spelling’s husband tweeted a pic of their adorable son Liam going sticker-crazy, but somehow failed to notice that Tori is particularly nude in the background. Even more inexplicably, as of this afternoons the photo is still up! Are Tori and Dean both so sleep deprived that they haven’t realized the entire planet is currently checking out Tori’s goodies? If they’re sleepy, we hope they sleep. Sleep as long as they can before they realize what happened and lose their exhausted minds.
Lindsay Lohan, we sincerely love you. Every time someone screams at us that they want their pink shirt back (which is a lot), we are immediately taken back to your film heyday. That being said, the whole Lindsay Lohan/Marilyn Monroe comparison has got to end. Sources report that Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy spread, due out around Christmas for the magazine’s January/February issue, is an homage to Marilyn Monroe’s photos in the magazine’s debut issue. “The pictorial is absolutely fantastic and very tasteful,” Lohan’s rep confirms. Considering the photos reportedly include full-frontal nudity, we’d like to refer Lilo’s rep to the Merriam-Webster definition of “tasteful” for future use.
This wouldn’t be the first time Lilo has posed nude in a Monroe-inspired spread; as you undoubtedly recall, she recreated “The Last Sitting,” Monroe’s 1962 nude shoot, for New York magazine in 2008. This is in addition to Lindsay’s Marilyn tattoo, the Monroe-inspired name of her fashion line (6126 translating into Marilyn’s birthday of 6/01/1926) and her introduction for the book Marilyn: Intimate Exposures, in which Lindsay all but claims to be Marilyn Monroe reincarnated in a slightly smaller, infinitely more freckly body. Other than their struggles with illegal substances and rocky professional reputations, however, do these two have much in common? Let’s compare:
Marilyn Monroe: Appeared in 32 completed films, the last one being The Misfits.
Lindsay Lohan: Appeared in 17 films, including 2012′s Underground Comedy, in which Lindsay playsâ€¦Marilyn.
Marilyn Monroe: Nominated for a BAFTA award for The Prince and The Showgirl; won a Golden Globe for Some Like It Hot.
Lindsay Lohan: Nominated for a SAG award for Bobby; won multiple Razzies for I Know Who Killed Me.
Marilyn Monroe: Is generally heralded as an excellent comedic actress limited by typecasting.
Lindsay Lohan: Is currently embroiled in a lawsuit with Pitbull over his rap lyric referring her stint in jail.
So we have to ask…
Scarlett Johansson seems to be taking the advice we got for celebs from CNET Internet security expert Declan McCullagh, “If you take nude photos of yourself or allow nude photos of yourself to be taken … either you embrace this (like Marilyn Monroe did) — this is part of you, part of your mystique — or you keep them encrypted on a hard drive that you, and not your boyfriend, hold the key to.”
So in her cover story interview for the December issue of Vanity Fair, she saucily declares of the nude pics that leaked in September: “I know my best angles. … They were sent to my husband [Ryan Reynolds]. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not like I was shooting a porno. Although there’s nothing wrong with that either.”
Well, it looks like this Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy shoot is really happening, at least according to her mom. And who doesn’t want their mother talking to the press about their nude magazine pictorial? Anyone? Anyone? “The photo shoot went well,” Dina Lohan reported to X17online after photographers snapped photos of Lilo entering the Playboy Mansion on Tuesday. Dina didn’t go into details as to how a nude photo shoot would go badly, but we’re assuming it would involve a bunch of marbles spilled on the floor and Hugh Hefner getting accidentally kicked in the face.
Ali Lohan allegedly tagged along to the shoot as well, and unless they were all just having their picture taken for the family Christmas card, we’re going to recommend that you take a steaming hot shower, and vigorously scrub the skeeve off your brain. Oh wait, think about how Lindsay is being offered $1 million to have a sex toy modeled after her lady business, then go take a mind shower. The only this missing from this picture (besides Lindsay’s pants) is of course Michael Lohan, though all of a sudden, his third-story leap to freedom makes a whole lot more sense. Who would want to miss something America has been quietly predicting since I Know Who Killed Me was released?