Ojani Noa

by (@missmuttoo)

Which Jennifer Lopez Ex Plans To Take It All Off For Playgirl?

It ain’t Diddy, or that dancer dude, or Jennifer Lopez‘s most recent — Marc Anthony. This gold-digging ex Ojani Noa! Remember the J.Lo “honeymoon tape”? Considering that little tidy stash o’ cash was denied after Jennifer blocked the sale of the video, you know he’s been looking for another avenue. And he’s found one. Or, it found him?

Ojani and Playgirl are inking a deal for him to make an appearance in the magazine. Let’s be clear — it’s going to be all of him! TMZ reports that deal will only go through if he agrees to do full-frontal shots. Which he doesn’t mind at all considering he told the site, “If the money is right, especially for full nude, then I would be flattered to pose for Playgirl.” Of course he would. There’s a price for everything, right?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Porn Companies Bidding Over Racy Jennifer Lopez Footage

A judge decided last week that racy footage of Jennifer Lopez, shot by ex-husband Ojani Noa during their honeymoon, can be released to the public despite her legal injunctions—as long as Ojani isn’t the one releasing it. Naturally, porn companies are crawling over each other for the opportunity. Looks like Noa and his girlfriend Claudia Vasquez are finally getting the payday they’ve been fighting J. Lo in court over, right?

Not quite. Currently the bids for J. Lo honeymoon footage, which allegedly contains “spanking” but little nudity and no sex, are hovering around $40,000—a less than impressive number considering how much has likely been spent on their legal battles. As it’s unlikely Vasquez will get the $10 million in damages she wants from Lopez——their legal “victory” might do more for J. Lo’s public profile than their bank account. In other words, they might still have to get jobs.

[Photos: Getty Images/]

by (@hallekiefer)

Ex’s Girlfriend Wants To Slap JLo With A Restraining Order

If this isn’t the ultimate “Don’t Date Him, Girl” story, we don’t know what is. Apparently the girlfriend of JLo’s ex-husband Ojani Noa Claudia Vasquez is seeking a restraining order against Jennifer Lopez. Vasquez is reportedly filing for the order today to facilitate a planned television project about the America Idol judge. If granted the restraining order, Vasquez can lobby to have it made permanent, a move that could potentially hinder JLo’s ability to stop production from continuing. Given that Vasquez and Ojani have attempted to make public video of Lopez flashing strangers on a scooter, something tells us that JLo would sooner destroy television as we know it than let these two use her image in anything. So enjoy those episode of Modern Family while you can!

In the meantime Vasquez is also suing Lopez for $10 million for stopping production of a movie which, surprise!, also has Jennifer Lopez (and possibly her lady business) as it’s subject matter. “If Jennifer Lopez loses, it will be catastrophic for her, and will also completely disprove J.Lo’s case against Ojani and I,” said Ojani’s manager Ed Meyer, also at the receiving end of Lopez’s attempts to stop production of the film. Um, we’ve never been to law school, but we’re pretty sure there’s a case to be made against your ex’s girlfriend releasing video of your hoo-ha. Right? If not, we have to meet with our attorney immediately.

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Girlfriend Of J. Lo’s Ex: “It Isn’t Fair That She Has All The Money In The World”

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Jennifer Lopez is such a scrooge. All Jennifer Vasquez wants to do is release a movie about Ojani Noa—featuring his then-wife J. Lo flashing her crotch in Cuba—and Lopez won’t let her! “I’m just me and I’m defending my career, my life,” says Vasquez about her $10 million lawsuit against the new American Idol judge. “It isn’t fair that Jennifer Lopez has all the money in the world. Why would she stop somebody that is so small for her?” Because you have footage of her vagina, lady! Just because J. Lo wanted to share it with people of Cuba on her honeymoon doesn’t mean you get to hawk videos of it later. Honestly.

“She [Lopez] is affecting my life, she is affecting my company, she’s affecting my work and mostly, my kids,” cries Vasquez to Radar Online, who’d undoubtedly let J. Lo hawk pics of her cooch if it was the only way to feed Marc Anthony‘s kids. “Just let [Noa] go and let us make a movie,” the poor sex tape peddler pleads. “Talk to your advisors, talk to your heart, and let’s just stop this nonsense…please.” Aren’t ghosts from the past supposed to wait until Christmas Eve to bug you?

[Photo: WireImage]

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J. Lo Sued By Ex-Husband’s Girlfriend For $10 Million

If celebrity feuds were sequels, Ojani Noa‘s attacks on ex-wife Jennifer Lopez would longer have numbers, instead getting names like Ojani Vs. J. Lo: Requiem. The novelty of his franchise’s latest entry? This time the unstoppable destroyer is…a woman! Claudia Vasquez, Ojani’s girlfriend of over a decade, is suing J. Lo for $10 million accusing the new American Idol judge of standing in the way of the movie she and Ojani are producing—a movie that just happens to include footage of J. Lo flashing her crotch in Cuba. What a spoilsport!

“We believe that this entire lawsuit against Ojani and I over the Movie and the ‘Sex Tapes’ Home Videos centers around Jennifer Lopez’s hatred for Ojani Noa dating Claudia Vazquez,” said one of the film’s producers, accusing Lopez of calling her a “whore” on Unvision and basically being unpleasant ever since she walked in on Vasquez and Noa having sex about a decade ago (Lopez was dating Ben Affleck at the time, so she couldn’t have been too aggrieved). We’re guessing the superstar won’t have any trouble swatting this suit down, but we can’t wait to hear what’s in store for Ojani Vs. J. Lo: Generations.

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J. Lo’s Ex-Husband Would Like You To See Her Genitals

A year after Jennifer Lopez sued ex-husband Ojani Noa to keep him from releasing sexy video footage of herself, we now know just what Ojani’s got in his memory chest. While the pair never made a sex tape, he does have clips of J. Lo flashing Cubans on holiday! “JLo is riding a scooter in public in Cuba, while talking to the camera and numerous by-standers, with her privates in as plain view as Paris Hilton, “Britany Spears and Lindsay Lohan have in the past,” explains agent Edward Meyer to Radar, with legal papers saying the singer showed “deviant behavior by consensually exposing her genital area in public,” which she gave “full consent” to Noa to tape. Personally, we’d argue exposing her Gigli to the public was far more deviant.

Meyer’s argument that he shouldn’t be bound by any deal Lopez made with Noa seems a little specious, and we wouldn’t be surprised if this footage fails to see the light of day. But if Noa tried to audition for American Idol, odds are this guy will continue to be a thorn in J. Lo’s side for…well, ever. Check out photos of the fully-dressed star with Denzel Washington and Mario Lopez at a Boys and Girls Club event yesterday in the gallery below.

[Photos: Getty/.com/FayesVision]

by (@missmuttoo)

Jennifer Lopez Schools Her American Idol Ex-Husband Yet Again

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American Idol is like a functioning democracy. Just about anybody can audition (online, too!) Well, everybody… except Ojani Noa, aka newbie judge, Jennifer Lopez‘s first ex-husband!

Here’s the background. Noa wanted to audition this year. Because all he really really wants to do is sing! It has nothing to do with the fact that his famous ex-wife is a judge now. And shame on you for eve thinking that! And the fact that he wanted to sing one of J.Lo’s songs at the audition… pure coincidence, that’s all.

But the triple threat star isn’t taking any chance with Noa, considering he just wanted to distribute an, apparently, raunchy tape of both of them. Curses… foiled again! Because Jennifer has banned Noa from auditioning. Hell, she’s  banned him from even showing up, as a source revealed, “Jennifer got Fox to make sure that the screeners at the auditions would not let Ojani anywhere near the auditions. Fox made it clear that he was not welcome and that he could be arrested if he showed up so  he backed-out at the last minute.”

Maybe Noa should look at some Justin Timberlake material instead. We have just the song for him…it’s called Cry me a River. [Photo: Getty Images]

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J. Lo’s Ex Just Keeps Finding New Ways To Not Get A Real Job

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As far as we’re concerned, we would be thrilled if we never reported anything about Jennifer Lopez‘s ex-husbands, ever. Hell, we’d be thrilled never to mention her current husband either. (Although we hear he plans to capture and renovate Greyskull soon.) But Ojani Noa, the one she’s suing for trying to sell private home videos and who has no others kills besides being an ex-husband, keeps trying to cash in on her name, and we keep feeling the urge to call him out on it because, dude, it’s past creepy, now it’s just gross.

Today it was reported that Noa is shopping around a new reality show called I Owe J. Lo in order to avoid bankruptcy. Bankruptcy that he got himself into after violating a confidentiality clause when he wrote a book about his life with the singer. The show would follow him around as he tries to land “menial jobs” in order to pay off his debt. Sounds thrilling! After every minor network passes on the project, we look forward to seeing what Noa does next in the name of Lopez.

Who knew that J. Lo’s second ex,  Cris Judd, who was on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here for the love of God, would end up being the classy one?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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J. Lo’s Ex-Husband Is Broke & Depressed After Legal Battles

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Jennifer Lopez must have seen something in ex-husband Ojani Noa when she married him, but after his constant wahmbulance rides, we’re not seeing it. Last year, we reported that Noa felt victimized after J. Lo put a stop to the release of personal home movies recorded on their honeymoon, which Noa intended to use for a mockumentary titled How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The JLo and Ojani Noa Story. Yeaaah, maybe don’t try to capitalize on your much-more-famous ex-wife with something so skeevy, Ojani. Noa was previously sued by Lopez after writing a tell-all book about their marriage which violated a confidentiality clause in their divorce settlement.

Today, we learned that Noa is still whining about the situation, saying “The lawsuit put me through so much pain and frustration.” He is declaring bankruptcy as a result, and hilariously, to make money, he had hoped to sell the tapes he was prevented from showing. Seriously, who’s advising this guy? Not someone who thinks things through.  And lest you think the only thing on his resume is “Jennifer Lopez’ Ex,” Noa has tried to get jobs the legit way. He’s a model-actor (of course he is), but he explains “I can’t go to work because anytime I go to a casting, people are afraid to hire me because of the judgment on my head. [They are] skeptical [because] of what I’m going through.” Or maybe they just don’t want you to secretly film them and be turned into a mockumentary.

[Photo: Getty Images]