There is no badder badass in the world than The Rock. The fact that he can revert back to his significantly less badass birth name of Dwayne Johnson and not lose an ounce of his badassitude speaks to his impossibly high level of bassassery.
Pain and Gain
Michael Bay, you had better not be jerking us around. You do not put Rebel Wilson uttering the phrase “penis magic” in a doctor’s office in the new Pain and Gain trailer unless the film gives Rebel the attention she deserves. There is nothing we hate worse than a trailer that shows all the good parts of a film. If those “good parts” is one measly scene featuring Rebel Wilson, we don’t know what we’ll do. Okay, we’ll probably rage impotently in a blog post. But still! If you have a Google alert for your name, Michael Bay (and we know you do), you are going to get a pretty unpleasant email relatively soon if you let us down!
Other than Rebel, the rest of the trailer looks…somehow amazing? John Turturro and Rob Corddry are in the movie, for pete’s sake! We love all the sweat-drenched tank tops, we adore the weird skinny dog and the pairing of Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson‘s quips with such serious music is downright hilarious. Never go back to the Transformers franchise again, Michael Bay. Unless Pain and Gain somehow ends up being terrible other than these few scenes. In which case, go crazy!
Your work day is over: time to kick back, relax and enjoy a piping hot bowls of hunks. Hunks like Tom Cruise, Mark Wahlberg and Christopher Meloni, to be exact. Now, clearly all these hunks deserve their own post, but to achieve critical hunk mass we fused them together into one super hunk post. It’s sort of like the end of David Cronenberg‘s The Fly, but not gross and with more hunks! Man, now we wish Jeff Goldblum was in this hunk round-up. Maybe next time!
Tom Cruise posed for this month’s W Magazine while channeling his Rock of Ages character, hair metal singer Stacee Jaxx. Now, we know some of those abs have to be Photoshopped (please compare to Tom’s other shirtless Staceee Jaxx photo immediately. Immediately.) and of course those tattoos aren’t real and, yes, maybe something weird is going on in his brow area, but still…the man is turning 50 this year and looks like he was carved out of well-moisturized granite. Even if it might make you uncomfortable to admit it, Tom Cruise is still a bona fide hunk. Accept him. Embrace him as you would any other hunk.
Remember in the early ’90s when Mark Wahlberg used to model underwear for a living? Now he’s hanging out in Miami filming Michael Bay‘s Pain and Gain and, well, basically modeling underwear for a living. If we knew what brand those were, we’d buy some and keep them on us at all times in case we met a worthy hunk. We would tell you to say hello to your mother for him, but she’s already seen these photos and she knows. She knows he says hello.