Paul Reubens

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Pee Wee Gets The TMI of the Year Award

Paul Reubens is back in the limelight after far too long, performing his trademark character on Broadway this fall. That’s the good news. The bad news is that Pee Wee is sharing far more than we cared to know about his pee wee. The former children’s host/nightmare has spoken candidly about the arrest in an adult movie theater which threatened to ruin his career in 1991. Fittingly, the interview appeared in Playboy. At least he’s sure to find a sympathetic audience.

He pled no contest at the time to avoid the humiliation of a long drawn out trial, though we can’t imagine how it could be any more embarrassing than that bow tie. Yet even after all these years, Reubens still insists he was behaving innocently in his new playhouse. While we find it unlikely that he was simply admiring the powerful performances on the magic screen, he claims to have proof he wasn’t jiggling his Jambi!

“Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the Masters and Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her nondominant hand. I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn’t have been me.”

The revelation of this fun Pee Wee fact left us thinking three things simultaneously:

1. What the hell is the Masters and Johnson Institute?
2. *Ahhh AHHHHH ahhhhh AHHHHH* ‘Masturbation’ is today’s secret word!
3. Did someone try to frame Pee Wee!?

The King of Cartoons was unavailable for comment.

[Photo: Images]