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#20: Anna Nicole Smith’s Death

Playboy model. Senior citizen sex toy. The unholy love child of Marilyn Monroe and the Michelin Man. Anna Nicole Smith was created so the world could marvel at just how messed up one person could get and still not be Britney Spears. Just ask anybody who owns The Anna Nicole Show: The Complete Series on DVD.

The dust seemed to have cleared after the death of Smith’s 20-year-old son Daniel, from an overdose of prescription pills and methodone, and her commitment ceremony to lawyer and long-time pal Howard K. Stern. Then Smith’s lifeless body was found in a Florida hotel room in February 2007. The autopsy showed she had suffered an accidental overdose of prescription medication — none of which had actually been prescribed to her. Then things got really weird.

Stern took custody of Smith’s infant daughter Dannielynn, whose paternity was contested by ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead. After a court battle and DNA test proving Birkhead was the father, Stern surrendered custody. Then a book alleged that Birkhead and Stern were really lovers. And then our heads exploded. — Charles Bottomley

by (@katespencer)

Kids Dress Like Adults At Teen Choice Awards

The teen clones were out in full force last night at the Teen Choice Awards, contorting their legs into weird poses and grabbing at their hips to see just how damn bony they really are. Also, peace is in this year!

Unfortunately, our celebrity kiddie pool wasted this opportunity to dress like the reckless, rebellious, fad-loving followers that they are and instead went for a look way beyond their years. Cute mini-dresses were in, Paris Hilton skank suits of yesteryear were sadly out. Also, Gossip Girls star Ed Westwick wore a man scarf. Nothing says Teen Choice like choosing to dress like a newly divorced 35-year old mom desperate to meet some hot arse at her local ladies night. We’re talking about you, Ed.

by (@katespencer)

Tila Snags Lohan’s Ex-Gal, Yahoo! Heir Courtenay Semel

Courtney Semel isn’t a household name (not even after appearing on Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive on E!), but she should be. She’s rumored to have gotten it on with Lindsay Lohan, and up until recently was dating Johnson & Johnson heir Casey Johnson. Semel’s an heir of sorts herself – her dad Terry was the CEO of Yahoo! But it looks like her most recent relationship has ended after a fling this week with Tila Tequila – and we’ve got the pics to prove it! Check ‘em out below – seems like they pair were caught getting a little flirty, huh!?

A source tells Scandalist exclusively that Semel is a notorious playgirl – she even supposedly stole an LA guy’s girlfriend away from him a few years ago. Yahoo! [NYPost]

[Images: Getty]

by (@katespencer)

A Look Worse Than Leggings

Dear Katie Holmes and Rachel Bilson,

It is not 1984. It is also not 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1992, or 1993. Therefore it is not appropriate to french cuff your jeans, no matter how avant garde you may consider this new old look to be. In addition, it is unfair to the average-paid women of America to go and introduce this trend just when we all got on board with skinny jeans and gladiator sandals. For though we loathe your look, we will follow you blindly, but will only be able to afford the $40 H&M baggie-roll jeans that will come out next year and will consequently fail at mimicking your new style.

Please, do us a favor: Bring sweatpants back instead.

Kisses,

Scandalist

[Images: Splash News Online]

by (@katespencer)

Wino Hospitalized For Mixing Prescription Drugs

Amy Winehouse headed back to her home away from home last night – the hospital. The singer was packed up in an ambulance and whisked off as her dad looked on and friend Remi Nicole freaked out. The doctors released Amy this morning, and her dad summed up the drama, saying, “She’s fine, she just mixed up her medication.’

Translation: she’s high on crack. [DailyMail]

[Photos: Splash News]

by (@katespencer)

The Summer Of ‘O8 In Bikinis

The summer of 2008 is almost over (yes, it’s time to buy school clothes again), so let’s celebrate the few blissful weeks we have left with an homage to the best celebrity bikini bods to grace the beach since June. The days are long and the thongs are short – just the way summer life should be.

Put down that Dark Knight ticket down and get clicking instead. You’ll be able to enjoy Aaron Eckhart‘s f*cked up face on DVD in just a few months, but summer – and those summer booties – only come around once a year.

In the pics below Naomi Campbell steals a kiss, Claire Danes snaps a pic, and Brooke Hogan poses – all while practically naked!

by (@katespencer)

Britney’s Ass Looks Better in Cabo

Britney Spears is on vacation this week in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, with hotelier George Maloof. Because, you know, being a little bit less insane is seriously hard work.

But for reals – Brit looks pretty good! We don’t see any daiquiri stains on her white bikini yet, surely that is a good sign. We like that her friend is filming the pool party with a giant video camera from 1984. All Brit needs is a couple more tequila shots, and that sex tape is finally gonna happen.

[Photos: Splash News]