Porn Stars

by (@katespencer)

The Complete Guide To Porn Parodies of Movies,TV, Celebrities and Politicians

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There’s porn (and sex tapes) to suit every kink and curiosity out there, especially if you happen to be a fan of erotic actors parodying your favorite TV show or movie (with a whole lot of boning thrown into the mix). From Duck Dynasty and Parks & Recreation, to classic faves like Stars Wars and The Brady Bunch – if it exists on television or film, there’s a porn version. But the best part is comparing the spoofs — and their stars — to their real-life counterparts. Some are straight-up ridiculous (just try to get through the very bizarre and NSFW clip from Edward Penishands without laughing) while others are actually humorous send-ups with some decent acting done by well-endowed lookalikes. Check out our definitive gallery of porn actors and the people they parody and see if you can you tell the original apart from their XXX counterpart.

by (@hallekiefer)

Porn Star James Deen Goes Out Of His Way To Deny Sleeping With Lindsay Lohan

James Deen Denies Lindsay Lohan Romance Rumors

“Stop! We don’t want to hear any more of these filthy Lindsay Lohan/James Deen sex rumors” is what no one is saying this week about the two biggest names in Bret Easton Ellis‘ upcoming erotic thriller The Canyons. But just in case we were already sick of gossip that didn’t exist, Deen took it upon himself to clear the air. “I can definitely, honestly say Lindsay Lohan and I are not having sex!,” Deen told Animal New York. “[If I was] I think I would tell everybody.” Why would you tell ever….you know what? This isn’t real, so we don’t have to get worked up about it. We’ll save our inappropriate rage for a real celeb rumor.

On the other hand…remember that time Lindsay allegedly, uh, spent some quality time with another porn actor by the name of Alex Torres earlier this year? At least we heard that rumor before we mentally dismissed it. “I don’t know anything about her except for that she’s a really nice, down-to-earth, normal twenty-five-year-old girl,” James went on. “We went to a business dinner and she was very professional. She drank coffee and water. Then she had to call for a car because she couldn’t walk ten feet from the door because of the paparazzi.” Okay, that sounds more like it. Aw, now we kind of wish we had heard this rumor…luckily they’re not done shooting yet! There’s still time! There’s plenty of time for them to start some sex rumors!

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Amanda Seyfried Gives Us A First Peek At Her Linda Lovelace Look

Amanda Seyfried showed us how to dress like a porn star yesterday, as she made her way to the set of Lovelace. Or at least a porn star from 1971. The 26-year-old actress is portraying the legendary adult-film star Linda Lovelace, and she definitely went full hilt with the retro ’70s vibe, including a pretty killer set of vintage wheels!

Lindsay Lohan was originally tapped to fill the role, until her epic legal drama caused the producers to back away in June 2010. Olivia Wilde, Kate Hudson, and Malin Akerman were considered to take the edgy part, but Seyfried got the final nod this November. Not to be deterred, Lindsay took another job as a porn star, so it all worked out in the end.

Get your first look at Amanda Seyfried as Linda Lovelace in the gallery below!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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by (@missmuttoo)

Porn Company Makes Cash Offer On Charlie Sheen’s Mansion

Does this qualify as a win? Charlie Sheen put his mansion for sale recently. The Beverly Hills pad is on the market for $ 7.2 million and is “an entertainer’s dream with spacious public rooms, most of which open to a beautifully landscaped yard featuring a professional outdoor kitchen with dining area, pool and spa.” Gotta love realtors for their prose because there’s obviously no mention of all the insanity that comes with Charlie’s life! But very soon, if all goes according to plan, nude people are going to be scattered all over the place too. And we aren’t talking about sculptures!

TMZ is reporting that YouPorn.com has made a cash offer on Charlie’s casbah. Unfortunately it’s not exactly the $ 7.2 mill that was asked for. The porn impresarios are offering $4.5 million, which seems paltry in comparison. But if Charlie accepts the offer then the porn stars will come rolling in to live there! And it’ll be a party for the out-of-work actor, because he will be allowed to visit as much as his heart (or other parts of his anatomy) desires. So will Mr. Sheen accept? That remains to be seen!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Is Charlie Sheen Living With His Ex-Wife, Porn Star And Pot-Loving Girlfriend?

If Brooke Mueller is indeed living with Charlie Sheen again, then it’s going to be a bit of a full house. Charlie seems to be creating his ideal harem around him, and if this story is true, then looks like he’s been successful in his utopian free lovin’ vision. RadarOnline reports that Charlie Sheen is taking Brooke on vacation WITH porn star companion Bree Olson, and other girlfriend Natalie Kenly. Natalie having posed for Cali Chronic X.  Our brains just exploded.

Not only is Charlie taking his posse on vacay, it’s been reported that he’s been shacking up with all three women under one roof in L.A. A source revealed, “Charlie is back to his old sel —and that’s not a good thing. So much for rehab at home. He took off with the girls on Wednesday.” Of Charlie’s big plans for his harem, the source added, “Charlie talked about building a porn family and now he’s got these three women all living with him and taking off on vacation with him.”

Some may call him the luckiest man in the world (we’re wondering how he pulled if off too), but raise your hands if you think his chips are this close to cashing out. This isn’t going to be a PG-13 vacation. Not even close. And Bree Olson’s loving every second already. She just tweeted, “Going to a tropical wonder for a little while to relax with friends : ) minimal tweets so hold tight! Be home soon babies!”  We can see the smile on Charlie’s gold grill already.

[Photos: Getty/Cali Chronic X]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Charlie Sheen Thanks Firefighters Who Responded To Porn Party 911 Call

The brave, diligent men and women of the Los Angeles Fire Department took more time off from fighting actual fires when Charlie Sheen visited the firefighters who responded to the 911 call from his mansion. “It was the hernia heard ’round the world!,” the actor joked about Sheen’s hospitalization for a hiatal hernia on January 27, which apparently we are all still pretending was completely unrelated to the drug-filled marathon porn party he was hosting at the time. Sheen gave the entire crew Leathermans, or multi-tools that include a knife, which will presumably come in handy if they have to cut Charlie down from a sex swing or saw through a pair of faux-fur handcuffs. “These guys are like George C. Scott, with a capital C! Hardcore,” Sheen crowed. And if there’s anything Charlie knows well, it’s anything hardcore.

During his trip, Charlie also got to try on a pair of fire-resistant pants, which we’re assuming were left covered in a fine white powder. “Compared to me, these guys are true heroes,” Charlie told TMZ. Compared to you, the mailman is a true hero, Charlie. Actually, the mailman has to get close enough to Sheen’s house to hear the insane debauchery coming from inside, so maybe he deserves one of those fancy knives too. And a hug.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Charlie Sheen Tells Porn Stars The Party’s Over

Charlie Sheen is totally serious about rehab, guys. TMZ has an alleged photo of Charlie watching the Super Bowl alone—alone!—in the same home theater he previously critiqued porn in during his last wild party. If the fact that he’s chilling in his own mansion wasn’t proof enough of his commitment to overcoming decades of drug abuse and sex addiction, Sheen’s porn star pals are getting farewell texts from the Two And A Half Men actor, including “Please lose the number, we are closed…please drive through…thank you” and “Right now we are on lockdown.” And by “right now,” he obviously means forever! Right?

While this could be proof of a new leaf, it could also be a sign that he needs to choose his friends (with benefits) more wisely. Hardly missing a beat after revaling Charlie’s “briefcase of cocaine” last week, porn star Kacey Jordan is reportedly in talks to star in a XXX re-enactment of the party that ended with Sheen rushed to the hospital with abdominal pains. Sure, Charlie talked about starting his own porn franchise, Charlie’s Devils, but he can’t have people stealing great ideas like that from under him. Do you think he’ll be able to say goodbye to these ladies for good—or even really wants to?

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Rumors We Love: Charlie Sheen Has Gold Teeth

An integral member of Charlie Sheen‘s porn star posse, Kacey Jordan, can’t seem to stop talking about him. Although some of her spilling leads into TMI territory, like Kacey’s critique of Sheen’s sexual performance, we’re happy to hear some of the others—like that Sheen has mostly gold teeth. You heard this correctly. She told Howard Stern that he wears an “apparatus” out in the public, essentially so that no one would point and laugh. Let us repeat this: Charlie Sheen has gold teeth and wears some sort of weird-ass disguise so no one catches on. We love this town.

But we’d also like more details. Are they gold grills because Sheen in one of his party-hazes, imaged he was a rapper. Did he knock out his teeth and replace them with gold impressions? Was Kacey seeing gold while looking at Charlie’s face? Did someone else knock out his teeth, because he was behaving like a jackass? So many questions! Although the last one makes the most sense. We’d also like to add that, while searching for photographs of Charlie, we noticed that he always has this weird close-lipped smile that shows off no teeth. Is he hiding what we think he’s hiding? You GUYS.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Charlie Sheen’s Would-Be Porn Star Babysitter Critiques His Performance

The real problem with partying with Charlie Sheen‘s porn star friends isn’t that eventually you’ll be hauled away on a hospital gurney covered in cocaine and good times (though you definitely will). It’s that, as professionals, they know immediately when your drug-fueld performance is below sub-par…and they’re not too embarrassed to talk about it. In an interview with E!, porn star Kacey Jordan talks about Charlie Sheen’s performance in bed, as brief as it might have been. “I used protection, but I didn’t think I was going to have sex with him, he was so f—ed up,” Jordan blabs. “Didn’t last very long. It was okay. When you’re that high, a girl like me had to help him out.” We were going to joke about Sheen’s adult film friends holding up score cards ala the Olympics, but give it a day. Tomorrow we’ll probably find out that actually happened.

Even if Jordan hadn’t come forward and spilled the beans, the fantasy she revealed about Sheen using porn star babysitters at his porn star mansion would never have come true. After Kacey explained Charlie’s tawdry request on Good Morning America, Sheen’s ex Denise Richards tweeted about Jordan, retorting “If you caught ‘GMA’ today..FYI.. No ‘adult film star’ will be babysitting our kids!” Maybe Denise jumped the gun a little, given that Kacey used babysit Britney Spears‘ kids after her divorce from Kevin Federline. Hmm, a professional babysitter AND an adult film star? Is there anything this girl isn’t good at? Besides keeping famous people’s secrets, that is?

by (@unclegrambo)

Charlie Sheen Is Still Crazy (For Porn Stars) After All These Years

Well well well, after what can only be described as an out of control week, Carlos Irwin Estevez — aka Charlie Sheen“voluntarily” checked himself into a rehab clinic late Friday evening. The production of Sheen’s hit CBS show, Two And A Half Men, has been shut down for the foreseeable future while Sheen cleans himself up. During that time, Charlie will surely be reflecting back on the series of events that led him to this place, a spot where he finds himself addicted to porn stars and cocaine.

While we here at TheFABLife can’t exactly trace the exact spot where Chuck Sheen got hooked on Bolivian Marching Powder, we can go back through his history and examine the relationships he’s had with women who make their money by dropping trou. So, won’t you join along with us as we walk through seventeen (!) relationships that Sheen has had with Women of the Night over the last twenty-five odd years? Enjoy…

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