We’ve all been dying to see how Beyonce‘s maternity wardrobe is going to pan out. So far it’s mostly been sparkly or poufy — both couture, though, obvs. Not that we have a problem with either. She’s carrying the Messiah of Music so she can put on any damn thing she wants! Her latest public appearance went the sparkly route again. Beyonce launched her fragrance Pulse in New York last night and covered the baby bump with a blingy blue minidress and matching glittery blazer. Do we like? We’re so biased when it comes to Bey! We’re wondering if her mommy wardrobe needs to shake things up a little, though?
As soon as we heard that Alyssa Milano is pregnant, we knew it was just the next step in her grand plan for 2011: The Year of Alyssa Milano. Well, maybe not consciously, but we can definitely see that triumphant gleam in her eye. “They’re just over the moon. They are so excited,” a friend told People about Alyssa and her husband Dave Bugliari, who married in 2009 after dating for three years. “Yes, it’s true. And we couldn’t be happier. Thank you for your warm wishes and love!” Milano confirmed on Twitter this afternoon, before making a check on her giant chalkboard of life achievements. Well, we’re assuming.
In addition to bringing forth new life from her womb, Milano was cast in New Year’s Eve alongside Halle Berry, Sarah Jessica Parker, and many of 4,967 A-list stars that appeared in Gary Marshall‘s Valentine’s Day last year. The couple expect their bundle to arrive this fall, which means little Alyssa will probably be able to hold his or her head up when Milano accepts her Golden Globe and/or Oscar. We’re calling it now!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Teen Mom star Amber Portwood is reportedly pregnant again, according to Star Magazine. The magazine also claims that Portwood, who only recently regained custody of her two-year-old daughter Leah, has no idea who the father of her new baby is, and boyfriend Clinton Yunker and ex-boyfriend Gary Shirley don’t even know she’s preggers! So Star knows all the dirty details, like how Amber took a pregnancy test on December 4, but the potential father(s) of the child have no clue? Awesome. Way to go, America.
If the report is true, then the tragedy here is neither that a young woman can’t learn from her own mistakes, nor is it that 20-year-old Amber has gone from teen mom to irresponsible adult. The real tragedy is that Portwood is making Bristol Palin, whose pro-abstinence stance seemed laughable because it was so ironic, actually sound like she knows what she’s talking about. Sigh.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Let’s hope they make teeny, tiny, infant-sized acrobatic harnesses, because according to Pink, pregnancy is a beautiful thing…if you’re looking to add a new bassist. Says the madre-to-be, “As soon as the baby can say ‘mama,’ I’m going on the road. We are going to be a traveling family gypsy band with garlands in our hair.” It’ll be like the Partridge Family, but with more swearing and bottle-smashing! Or less. We don’t know; we weren’t there.
Though the singer and her man-mate Carey Hart don’t know for sure if they’re carrying a little soprano or a little baritone, Pink’s doctor may have already put in the deciding vote. Exclaims Pink, “I’m terrified because she thinks it’s a girl! My mom has always wished me a daughter just like me. I’m terrified one of us will go to jail.” Anyone else think a little Pink baby would basically look like a smaller, less filthy Ke$ha? It’s a seriously terrifying thought. [Photo: Getty Images]
After she confirmed yesterday that she does in fact have a bun in the oven, we immediately started fantasizing about the plunging necklines and clinging fabrics of Mariah Carey’s inevitably fabulous maternity wear. Husband Nick Cannon, however, dreams only of getting Mariah out of heels and into flats. At first, we didn’t approve of the idea. Would you paint a rainbow a sensible beige? Would you have a peacock put on a conservative blazer? Then why make Mariah Carey walk on the ground with the rest of us mortals when she should be 4-to-6 inches higher than everyone else? But then we realized…if Nick doesn’t intervene early, Mariah will be nine months pregnant and still teetering precariously on 5-inch Jimmy Choos. So we’re willing to consider it.
Explained Cannon on his radio show with Mariah as a call-in guest, “I go into the closet searching for some flats for my wife … She got a lot of damn shoes — it’s like a frickin’ Macy’s. [And] Mariah Carey does not own one pair of flat shoes.” Mariah sensibly pointed out, “To be fair, I had some boots from Aspen, some Dior boots.” But Nick wasn’t going to let Carey get away with seeming like less of a diva than she really is: “Ski boots!”, he exclaimed. This story is confirming every fabulous, insane thing we always suspected about Mariah…and we could not be happier.
Admitted Carey, “And then we did find some flats and then they were a regular ballet slipper, like a beige, and I was like, ‘I don’t think so.’” Why not just put a garbage bag on your foot at that point, we’d argue. Nick was pretty pleased with himself for helping with the wardrobe transformation: “Basically, I got Mariah Carey, the high-heel queen, to put on some flats. And this is amazing. I’m going shoe shopping today, needless to say, to buy you some flat shoes.” We wouldn’t get too cocky, Nick. God only help you if Mariah finds out they make heels for babies now. [Photo: Splash News Online]
Matt Damon‘s pregnant wife, Luciana Barroso, is our new hero. At the Hereafter premiere red carpet she rejected the various muumuus and empire-waisted dresses so often thrown at pregnant women and instead embraced every curve on her body and then some. Who knew that third trimester+animal print+skin-tight would equal such a winning combination?
As a fellow pregnant lady (32 weeks and counting) we are declaring Luciana my new heroine. We can speak from experience when we say pregnancy makes everything (everything) bigger, and it can be easy and comfy and nice and simple just to slip into some flowy cotton number and call it a night. But Luciana’s dress is both sexy (legs!) and smart (notice that boob coverage?). And to top it all off, she’s bringin’ it in heels, swollen ankles be damned.
How do we like them apples, you ask? Uh, like a lot.