Rachel: I need you here so we can be together.
David: This is not a good time.
Rachel: I canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t do this anymoreÃ¢â‚¬Â¦Just go. Just [redacted] go and be with her.
David: Why do u act like such a [redacted] child!!! She is my wife
Rachel: Oh, please!! YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re such a liar. YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re never leaving. YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve wasted my time and IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m once again alone. I canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t [redacted] be alone anymore. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been alone my entire life.
David: What the HELL are you talking about. We spend more than enough time together.
Wow, hope you were able to keep your hand out of your pants for that one! These things may start with three-day sex bouts (“Rachel said they made love the entire time, she said David is amazing,” says their source) and photos of genitalia, but celebs need to realize that ladies on the side a) are more desperate than the stars and b) have less to lose than the stars. Thankfully for us gossipmongers, these guys never learn.
Looks like the guy from Bones is no Angel. The cause for that horrible, obvious joke is the recentannouncement that David Boreanaz cheated on his wife of eight years, Playboy playmate Jaime Bergman. “Our marriage has been tainted with my infidelities,” he told People. “I just want to be open and honest. I was irresponsible.” Looks like his situation might be more David Letterman than Tiger Woods, though—he’s coming forward after an ex hit him up for hush money. “I was associated with a woman who I was involved with and had a relationship with,” he says. “She asked for money. I felt as though I was being blackmailed or there was some sort of extortion.” The TV hunk says he and his wife are “working on repairing what’s been damaged so badly.”
With Boreanaz mentioned in a recent New York profile of Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel, it’s no surprise Radar says the party promoter—and her infamous legal counsel Gloria Allred—are behind his troubles. Allred, who’s representing both Uchitel and another woman who slept with the former Buffy star, says she wasn’t extorting, just suggesting “mediation” for her client’s “legal claim” that he lied about their “exclusive” relationship (yes, she’s suggesting you can be sued for cheating on your mistress). If David continues to imply something indecent about Allred’s way of scoring cash, he may regret it. “My client has not told her story to the press, but now that Mr. Boreanaz is attacking her she has decided to tell the story of their relationship, so that the truth will come out.” Wonder how much money she’ll get for that…and if Allred’s “legal advice” will ever get her arrested.
Tiger Woods‘ Mistress #1,Rachel Uchitel, seen above, arching her back at Perez Hilton‘s birthday party, and the one whose texts prompted Elin Nordegren to fly off the golf club handle, is pitching a reality show. The VIP club promoter/spray tanned non-hooker – who we’ve always considered Tiger’s least trashy conquest, if you can rank these things – has been pitching a reality show to various networks called Romancing Rachel.
The premise of the pitch is to find Rachel a nice boy who presumably doesn’t have a wife, two kids and a career to ruin. While E! and Lifetime have passed on the show, VH1 and Oxygen are still considering adding it to their roster. Of course if VH1 opts in, they might need to add a vehicle to the title (Golf Cart Of Love?) and if Oxygen wants it, they might force the entire show to take place at Tori Spelling‘s bed and breakfast — Hang Inn There, With Rachel?) Hey, just as long as Nazi Bombshell McGee isn’t getting her own show, we’re not going to object.
Cheating in Hollywood is as common place as nose jobs – everyone does it, and everyone denies it. Since the start of the new year alone, both Jesse James and Tiger Woods have f*cked their way to infamy, leaving behind trails of tattooed mistresses and dirty text messages. But the secret sex game is old school, and Sunset Boulevard is littered with tales of two-timing guys who have cheated on their wives with their co-star, nanny, assistant, intern, escort, or whoever else they could get their hands on. Sometimes the mistress is even more famous than the married man she’s bedding, if not before their affair than certainly after.
Some of these ladies went on to land their man, while others posed for Playboy and started failed handbag lines. But long after the sex ends and the scandals die, their legends live on – on Wikipedia at least. Check out the FABlife’s picks for the Most Scandalous Alleged Celebrity Mistresses below.
Tiger Woods‘ return to rehab may not be sex-related after all—according to a new report, the golfer has checked in at The Meadows in Arizona to battle drug dependency, namely to sleeping aides Ambien and Vicodin. Though Woods denied using performance enhancing drugs in his public apology last week, he notably ignored rumors involving recreational or prescription drug abuse.”In [sex] therapy, Tiger blamed a lot of his cheating behavior on his drug addiction, saying that the drugs were responsible for impairing his judgment,” a source told the Enquirer.
Several of Tiger’s mistresses have commented on his alleged drug use, with Rachel Uchitel reportedly telling friends the pair indulged in “crazy Ambien sex.” “He wasn’t a healthy guy. He couldn’t sleep and would stay up all night,” said call girl Lordeana Jolielast month. Woods has yet to comment publicly on any matters since his TV appearance last week.
Rachel Uchitel is finally seeing some payoff come through from her torrid affair with Tiger Woods. Who ever said banging the most famous athlete in the world was a waste of time? Apparently, producers from the show “Extra” were so blown away by an interview she did with Mario Lopez, they’re set to offer her a hosting gig on the show. Says a source, she “so impressed producers that she’s been offered a job as a special correspondent.”
Look guys, roadkill could make Mario Lopez look impressive, so we’re a bit skeptical that her chat skills are that stupendous. But she’s hot, and it’s Hollywood, and fake hair extensions and a good spray tan go a long way in La La Land. Check out Rachel’s bizarrely edited interview with A.C. Slater below and see for yourself – if she someone you’d want feeding you bland celebrity news on your TV?
Elin Nordegren has been without a wedding ring since confronting husband Tiger Woods about his infidelity last Thanksgiving, but new reports suggest she may have changed her mind about divorcing the golf star. Following their claim that Nordegren visited Woods at the Mississippi sex rehab clinic where he’s supposedly been hiding out, Radar now says the pair are planning to give their marriage another go. “She was happy when she came home,” says their source. “Things went well. He’s told her he’s serious about making it work and doing whatever he can.”
If Nordegren and Woods truly are patching things up, new details about the Thanksgiving fight that left him in the hospital couldn’t have come at a worse time. According to The Daily Beast, the battle started when Woods told his wife the National Enquirer was planning a (false) story about his cheating and put her on the phone with “pal” Rachel Uchitel to assuage her fears. Less than convinced, Nordegren began texting Uchitel from Woods’ phone, eventually learning their true relationship. Nordegren then woke her Ambien-addled husband—who contacted Uchitel to announce is impeding divorce—leading to the golf-club-swinging/car-crashing brouhaha we heard so much about. But that’s all in the past now, right? Right?
Discussing the situation with People, Vh1’s Dr. Drew Pinsky was less than certain sex rehab would solve the problem.”The feature here that has caught everyone’s attention is that he seems to be maintaining relationships with all these people – not just have sex with them…We’re speculating sex and love are the primary issues. They may not be.” It sure doesn’t look like Woods’ recovery process involves wife Elin Nordegren, who’s still in suburban Orlando with the kids. According to X17‘s source, the golfer’s clinic stay may have more to do with rehabilitating his career, anyway. “His handlers forced him to enter the program. They feel that if he blames his cheating on addiction, the public will forgive him.” How soon before the tearful Barbara Walters interview?
Woods has been spotted by the paparazzi at the Trump Hotel on Central Park West in Manhattan, apparently only leaving his room to booze at the hotel bar and not venturing outside. Word is, he rented out an entire floor of the hotel to maintain his privacy. We’d like to gently suggest to Tiger that he pinch his pennies and maybe downgrade to a suite, seeing as wife Elin is going to take him for everything he has. It also seems odd to us that he came to New York to keep a low profile, but then again, the guy’s judgment isn’t the best now is it? [Photo: GettyImages]
Rachel Uchitel isn’t the only alleged mistress of Tiger Woods you shouldn’t say “hooker” around. Though Jamie Jungersadmitted an affair with the philandering golfer on Today this morning (“it just became more of an actual relationship, a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship”), the lingerie model/waitress denied ever working for Michelle Braun, the escort-service manager who says Jungers was once on her payroll. “I never even heard of the woman’s name,” said Jungers. “Never in my life. I’ve never been an escort and I never will be an escort. This is all news to me.”
Braun isn’t backing down, however. “That’s just a lie,” she told E! News. “Of course she’s going to deny it. What girl is going to go on national TV and admit she was an escort?” Braun has even released tax forms connecting her to Jungers and fellow Tiger lady/porn star Holly Sampson. The madam’s allegations—which include Tiger paying $15,000 in NY to sleep with a “a petite, pillow-lipped looker named Loredana” (to quote the New York Post)—could get the sports star up to a year in jail for patronizing, if authorities decide to press charges. And the Tiger trap keeps getting deeper…