Rihanna, where did you find that frosted lipstick, baseball cap, and button-down shirt tied around your waist? Were they buried in a time capsule behind your middle school? That’s the only explanation we could think of for why the outfit you wore in London today looks like it just arrived from 1997, the last year it was acceptable to wear this many shades of pale denim in one ensemble. We found love in a hopeless place, Rihanna? More like we found clothes in an old suitcase…that, again, had been buried behind your middle school.
Of course, this outfit is only marginally worse than the one you wore yesterday. We know you don’t give a bleach-spattered sweatshirt what people think about your style, but a visor, purposefully torn tee and bright white sneaks scream “junior high trip to Busch Gardens” no matter who’s wearing them. Throw in a fanny pack, a Big Gulp and an upside-down map of Orlando and you could be trailing your English class around Disney World circa 1998. Ugh, and yet you still manage to look kind of fierce. You defy the space-time continuum, RiRi.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Rihanna is known to suffer from a severe pants allergy (affecting one out of every one pop stars around the world), and while her new vacation pics don’t feature any trousers, Riri is shown to be rocking shorts, long-sleeved shirts and, we can’t believe we’re typing this, multiple floor-length dresses. We know; we didn’t believe it either. Posted on Facebook in the appropriately-titled “Ball So Hard VACA” album, it looks like Rihanna is taking a much-needed break from her wedgie-inducing concert outfits for a few days of…normal human clothing!
[Photo: Rihanna’s Facebook]
If Rihanna’s Vogue cover make the singer look like a beautiful merperson, Rihanna’s Vogue photos taken all together make her look like Ariel’s bad-ass older sister. Arista, maybe? Possibly Attina? That fish woman does not mess around. Shot by Annie Leibovitz, Rihanna alternates between frolicking on the beach and glowering at the camera. We don’t know if you can smoke or drink if you live underwater and have the internal organs of a fish, but if so, Rihanna would be doing it. Either way, you can tell she’d sooner slap a sea witch across the face than give up her voice for a dude.
As the cover girl for Vogue‘s Shape issue, Rihanna discusses her workout routine in the April issue. “I hate going to the gym and doing it the old-fashioned way,” the singer admits. Well, ellipticals aren’t built for aquatic animals; it’s an issue of skeletal structure. Oh, you know what…we’re going put down this issue for a little bit and walk away. We’ve been looking thinking about this analogy for way too long.
Sometimes we cringe at Rihanna‘s fashion picks, but her upcoming Vogue cover is nothing but high glamour. RiRi stepped away from her frequent odd outfit choices (cropped knitted tank tops, huh?) and slithered into a sexy sheer dress. We also can’t help but feel a little nostalgic gawking at the cover. Set in front of an ocean backdrop, Rihanna rocks bright red wavy hair and fire red lips reminiscent of The Little Mermaid. Sound off and tell us if you are you feeling Rihanna’s fierce mermaid inspired cover too!
[Photo: B. Scott]
Rihanna‘s touring Australia at the moment, and not just the concert halls. The singer was spotted leaving a sex shop named The Tool Shed, with a male assistant bringing two bags of goodies out in front of her. Sadly, no one will know just what she bought—the store manager says the visit was planned so that no one would be inside the store while she perused their wares.
One fellow we sure hope didn’t look inside the bags is Beppi Polese, an 85-year-old restaurant owner who posed with Ri-Ri outside his place Beppi’s. Though he almost got a show anyway—Rihanna was clearly having some trouble with her pants on the way to the restaurant. Bet he loved that knitted turtleneck halter top, though.
See photos of Rihanna’s Australian adventure, including a trip to the mall to buy underwear, in the gallery below. What a fun, sexy time for her!
[Photos: Splash News Online]
With Lady Gaga home trying to get the deposit back on her egg, Rihanna had yesterday’s BRIT Awards all to herself, taking home Best International Female Star and grinding her way through a medley of recent hits—losing a little more clothing with each one. Grammy upstarts The Arcade Fire took Best International Album (“check us out on Google,” leader Win Butler cracked), while Grammy New Artist loser Justin Bieber took International Breakthrough Act. Watch Rihanna’s performance after the jump, and check out the gallery to see pics of Rihanna, Bieber, Avril Lavigne, Best International Male winner Cee Lo Green.
When Rihanna tweeted a photo of her wearing a giant red wig on the set of her “S&M” video, we didn’t realize this was going to be a regular look for her! But the singer still had the mountain of crimped hair atop her head when she arrived at Las Palmas nightclub in Hollywood last night. Is this her tribute to Kelis‘ Kaleidoscope album or is she giving a shoutout to Sideshow Bob? “Oh, this tattoo? It’s German…The, Paparazzi, The.”
[Photo: Splash News Online]
The hottest stars in music hopped the pond last night for MTV Europe Music Awards. If you thought Ke$ha, Katy Perry, and Rihanna took fashion risks stateside, wait until you see what they did in Madrid! Interpret their eye-catching choices as crazy hot or just plain crazy; either way, they’re worth a closer look. Here are the 12 most mind-boggling get-ups worn across the Atlantic last night.
12. Johnny Rogers: Johnny Knoxville
11. Colonial Chic: Miley Cyrus
10. Fancy Feather Duster: Snooki
9. Wedding Bells: Rihanna
8. One Hot Ticket: Katy Perry
7. Violet Clash: Ke$ha
6. Algae Alert: Katy Perry
5. Apocalyptic Pink: Hayley Williams
4. 80s Prom Gone Wrong: Eva Longoria Parker
3. Train O’ Tissue: Rihanna
2. Walk of Shame: Taylor Momsen
1. Neon Warrior Princess: Ke$ha
Bonus: Lollipop Guild 2010: Snooki and Wee Man
The 2010 MTV EMAs air on MTV this Friday, November 12th at 9PM EST.
Rihanna was busy filming the video for “What’s My Name” in New York this weekend, and her outfit can only be described as some sort of Alice in Wonderland meets Kids Incorporated nightmare. Maybe Katy Perry and Ke$ha got wasted and then had a style-off using Rihanna as their mannequin, but even that would be no excuse. It’s the worstest of the worstestest.
We love RiRi, but this look is just all sorts of wrong. Check out our favorite Rihanna outfits to revel in her better fashion picks. At least you can feel a little bit better about the toothpaste-stained shirt you – okay fine, we – wore to work today after checking out her weird booty shorts/Spanx n’ Stripes debacle. Isn’t that really what celebrities are for – boosting our wee egos a bit?
[Photos: Splash News Online]