Rolling Stone

by (@shalapitcher)

Rihanna’s Most Reassuring Quote About Chris Brown So Far

Rihanna speaks candidly about her reunion with Chris Brown

We really, really want to believe this one, for Rihanna’s sake. Not that it’s not something you hear from women who go back to the men who abused them all the time, but at least this quote is better than the brush-off “none of your business” statements she’s made in the past. After appearing all over the place with Chris Brown and writing cryptic tweets about their time together for the past few months, RiRi spelled things out for her Rolling Stone cover story.

“He doesn’t have the luxury of f—ing up again,” she said, by way of assuring the world that she won’t stand for any hint of abuse again. “That’s just not an option. I can’t say that nothing else will ever go wrong. But I’m pretty solid in the knowing that he’s disgusted by that. And I wouldn’t have gone this far if I ever thought that was a possibility.”

She also reiterates what she’s been saying all along about this: that she doesn’t care what we think about her reunion with the man who assaulted her in 2009. “I decided it was more important for me to be happy,” she said. “I wasn’t going to let anybody’s opinion get in the way of that. Even if it’s a mistake, it’s my mistake. After being tormented for so many years, being angry and dark, I’d rather just live my truth and take the backlash. I can handle it.”

We hope so, Rihanna. We really do.

[Photos: Getty Images, Rolling Stone]

by (@hallekiefer)

Taylor Swift Talks Kennedys In Rolling Stone Before Most Couples Would Be “In A Relationship” On Facebook

Taylor Swift Talks Kennedys In Rolling Stone

Let’s hope this Conor Kennedy thing works out! If not, Taylor Swift is now recorded forever in the annals of Rolling Stone history, talking about buying a house near her one-time crush. Awk-ward! “That would be so amazing,” the “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” singer gushed to the magazine about purchasing a home in Hyannis Port near the Kennedys. Llast time we checked, girl was doing just that, but…haven’t Taylor and Conor only been dating for , ike, two months? And that Page Six claimed Taylor chartered a private jet to ferry Conor from Massachusetts to Nashville? Well, uh, most millionaire-high school senior relationships work out, don’t they? Don’t they? Hoo boy…

Romantical aspects of her songwriting aside, Swift’s interview also offers an interesting insight into her psyche: if Taylor spends half as much time thinking about her relationships as she does her stage show, the woman deserves a M.S. in Couples Counseling. “After I write a song, I always end up laying awake at night thinking, ‘What are the lighting cues going to be on this? How big is the pit going to be?’ I have been thinking of some big moments that are going to happen,” Taylor explains. Haha, you’re right. What do we mean “if she spends half as much time thinking about her relationships as she does her stage show?” “I know general things about love,” Swift reveals. “How to treat people well, what you deserve and when to walk away. Other than that, love is a complete mystery – and that’s why I like to write about it.” No wonder she’s buying real estate when everyone one else is deliberating whither to leave a toothbrush at their boyfriend’s place. Heart on her sleeve, 18-year-old boyfriend hurtling toward Nashville on a chartered jet: that’s the way we like our Taylor.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

PETA Puts Jennifer Lawrence On Blast Over Squirrel Skinning Joke

If you’ve been wondering why all the kids in your neighborhood have been skinning tiny woodland animals for fun, you have no one to blame but Ms. Jennifer Lawrence herself, who cracked wise about her squirrel disemboweling scene in Winter’s Bone in her recent Rolling Stone interview. “I should say it wasn’t real, for PETA,” Lawrence joked. “But screw PETA.” Mwuh oh! Sounds like someone is looking to start an animal rights fight! Alternately, someone at Rolling Stone forgot the second “e” in Jennifer’s Hunger Games fan fiction fantasy. Can’t we pretend she was referring to Peeta? Kill two birds with one stone? Except not literally because that would just tick off PETA even more?

After peeping Jennifer’s comments, Gothamist couldn’t help but see what PETA had to say about it. “She’s young and the plight of animals somehow hasn’t yet touched her heart,” PETA’s president Ingrid Newkirk fumed. “As Henry David Thoreau said, ‘The squirrel you kill in jest, dies in earnest.’ We are told that this squirrel was hit by a car, but when people kill animals, it is the animals who are ‘screwed,’ not PETA, and one day I hope she will try to make up for any pain she might cause any animal who did nothing but try to eke out a humble existence in nature.” Boyt, PETA is not going to go over so well when we’re all living Panem. Or maybe it will, since none of us will have food anyway? Only time will tell!

[Photo: Lionsgate]

by (@hallekiefer)

5 Reasons You’re In Love With Jennifer Lawrence, Including Her Rolling Stone Cover

Look, everyone knows you’re in love with Jennifer Lawrence. It’s not a big deal! You love Jennifer Lawrence so much, when your friends mention how in love you are with the Hunger Games star, you yell, “No, I’m not!” a little too loudly and then things get really awkward for a while as you stare moodily out the window. We get it. We’ve been there. We also found five more reasons for you to love JLaw today, as if you needed them. Consider this list our gift to you and to that secret Jennifer Lawrence scrapbook you have. You know the one:

1) Jennifer’s eyeball-catching Rolling Stone cover: No one else seems to be saying it, so we will: that t-shirt is straight-up see-through, right? We won’t even going into how perfect girl’s hair looks, as you have already discussed it at length in your first and third volume of Jennifer Lawrence sonnets.

2) Jennifer’s positive attitude about casual nudity: “I’d met her a few times, and she was like, ‘You should come over and we’ll hang out.’ So I go over to her apartment, and she opens the door in a towel,” Zoe Kravitz tells RS. “She’s like, ‘Come in, sorry, you’re early, I was about to shower. And she drops her towel and gets in the shower, and starts shaving her legs, totally naked. She was like, ‘Are we here yet? Is this OK?’ And I was like, ‘I guess we’re there!’” You’re there, that’s for sure. Well, you weren’t actually there, of course. Which is for the best, as you definitely would have fainted.

3) Jennifer’s inquisitive nature: “I was on my bus,” her HG costar Woody Harrelson says of his first meeting with the girl on fire (with your passionate love). “And on my bus I have a yoga swing. Jennifer comes on, and she goes, ‘Hi, Woody, I’m J— is that a sex swing?’ Her first sentence to me.” Man, she is like a perverted reporter!  Your favorite kind!

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by (@hallekiefer)

George Clooney Contemplated Suicide Following Syriana Set Injury

Did you think finding out the deets about George Clooney’s first orgasm was a little personal? The Ides of March star is just getting started. Joining other candid celebrities like Nicki Minaj, Clooney took a moment in his recent Rolling Stone interview to discuss how he considered suicide after injuring his spine on the set of Syriana. “I was lying in a hospital bed with an IV in my arm, unable to move, having these headaches where it feels like you’re having a stroke, and for a short three-week period, I started to think, ‘I may have to do something drastic about this,’” Clooney revealed. Oh, George! We do you a great disservice when we assume you’re made solely out of martinis and witty banter. We truly do.

Luckily The Descendants star recovered from his injuries, though the lingering effects of the stunt gone wrong contributed to his dropping out of the upcoming The Man From U.N.C.L.E. “You start to think in terms of, you don’t want to leave a mess, so go in the garage, go in the car, start the engine,” Clooney admitted. “It seems like the nicest way to do it, but I never thought I’d get there. See, I was in a place where I was trying to figure out how to survive.” Celebrities: They’re just like us! Even when being “us” involves having some supremely depressing thoughts.

by (@hallekiefer)

Katy Perry Tells Rolling Stone She’s “Part Of The Problem” With America

We support any celebrity willing to publicly question the norm, but it might be easier to shake up the establishment if Katy Perry’s Rolling Stone cover didn’t happen to have her sporting brand-name milk chocolate boobs.  “When I was a kid, I asked questions about my faith. Now I’m asking questions about the world,” Perry explains her cover article. “I think we are largely in desperate need of revolutionary change in the way our mindset is. Our priority is fame, and people’s wellness is way low. I saw this knowing full well that I’m a part of the problem.” Perry’s new consciousness seemingly does not prevent her from getting hosed down in a leopard bikini for her photos by Terry Richardson, but we’ve clearly come a long way since the whip cream bazooka bra. Philosophically-speaking, that is. Wardrobe-wise, we’re pretty much in the same novelty bra store.

[Photo: Rolling Stone/]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Zach Galifianakis Reveals Hangover Part III Plot, Rips On Ke$ha In Rolling Stone

The beautiful thing about Zach Galifiankis’ Rolling Stone interview is how clear it is that the comedian could give a tiny monkey-in-a-denim-vest’s bottom about fame or what everyone in American thinks of him. Take Zach Galifianakis’ Ke$ha run-in, for example. “I saw that Ke$ha woman the other day,” the actor reveals about running into the singer at a bar. “She was sitting by herself, and I walked up to her and said, ‘Listen, I got your e-mail. Your music is really bad! I don’t know who listens to it, but I imagine it’s, like, six-year-olds – and it’s a bad message.’” First January Jones, now Ke-Dollar Sign-Ha. That man’s just saying what we’re all thinking!

The Hangover Part II star also seems pretty unconcerned with causally revealing The Hangover Part III plot, which the magazine says “ditches the format of the first two and focuses on his character escaping from a mental institution with help from the wolf pack.” Sighs Galifianakis as if he was talking about visiting his great-aunt, “They want to do a Hangover III. I’m getting fricking phone calls already.” Slowly, the distance between Galifianakis and his character Alan gets smaller which each passing day… As it should be.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Lady Gaga Brings Out Her Old, Bizarre Beauty Tricks On Rolling Stone Cover

Hmmm, is it us or is the new Lady Gaga Rolling Stone cover starting to recycle some of Baby Born This Way‘s biggest fashion hits/atrocities? Hair bow? Check. No eyebrows? Double check. Bra exposed? Definitely a check, but to be fair, that’s basically a fashion staple for Gaga, like how most people wear pants or shoes with heels. The bleeding red-to-blond hair effect is nice though; very Carrie-at-a-medieval-prom. Gaga’s new interview drops this Friday in the June issue of the magazine, and we’re sure she will continue to bring the freshness. It’s only when she busts out the hideous zebra-striped shirt-dress from “Just Dance” that we have to worry.

[Photo: Rolling Stone]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Adele Talks Lady Gaga, Projectile Vomiting In New Rolling Stone Article

As Adele’s Rolling Stone cover can attest, girl is blowing up here and at home in the U.K. Unfortunately, having Adele’s album 21 hit #1 on the Billboard charts hasn’t given her the bravado of a Kanye or the braggadocio of a Nicki Minaj. It just makes her want to blow chunks. “I’m scared of audiences,” the singer reveals in the interview. “One show in Amsterdam I was so nervous I escaped out the fire exit. I’ve thrown up a couple of times. Once in Brussels I projectile vomited on someone. I just gotta bear it. But I don’t like touring. I have anxiety attacks a lot.” You know that fan immediately called her friends to tell them it was the Adele who wrecked her new top. We know we would!

Even if Adele didn’t have to spend every half hour hiding in her tour bus bathroom, she probably wouldn’t pull a 180 and let it all hang out for the audience to see. “Even if I had a really good figure, I don’t think I’d get my tits and ass out for no one,” the singer explains. “I love seeing Lady Gaga‘s boobs and bum. I love seeing Katy Perry‘s boobs and bum. Love it. But that’s not what my music is about. I don’t make music for eyes. I make music for ears.” Yeah, projectile vomiting in a skimpy bikini doesn’t really sound like it would fit Adele’s soulful style. Though now that we wrote that, it’ll probably be the premise of Gaga’s next-next music video.

[Photo: /Rolling Stone]

by (@hallekiefer)

Rihanna Talks Chris Brown, Getting Tied Up In Rolling Stone Interview

The Rude Boy singer is letting it all hang out, and, no, we aren’t referring to the 97% butt cheek visibility on Rihanna’s Rolling Stone cover. It turns out, Rihanna’s S&M fetish extends  way beyond the confines of her songs. “I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous,” the singer admits. “Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned — you’ve got to stop and get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I’d rather have him use his hands.” The interview also explains why so many of Rihanna’s sexting photos have turned up on the web: “A picture lasts a long time. When you’re alone, and those horny moments come up, pictures can be very handy.” She admits, “I haven’t gotten a d— picture in a long time. I think people are a little afraid.” Now that’s TMI you can use. Get your camera phones on that, America!

Equally as scandalous as talk of boner shots, however, is hearing about Rihanna talk about the Chris Brown saga two years after the fact. Brown’s GMA meltdown aside, Rihanna doesn’t think his domestic abuse of her should be reason for people to boycott his music. “What he did to me was a personal thing. It had nothing to do with his career. Saying [he can't perform at awards show] definitely made it difficult for him,” Rihanna says, explaining why she agreed to relax her restraining order against him. “That’s my decision…it doesn’t mean we’re getting married tomorrow. It doesn’t mean we’re gonna be in a relationship, or make up, or even talk ever again. It just means I didn’t want to object to the judge.” Given how insanely hot Rihanna is right now, and how leery some people were about Chris Brown’s DWTS appearance, it seems like girl should keep following those instincts. Oh, and keep storing all those penis pics on an unsecured wireless network!