Uh-oh, it looks like Michael Phelps beat Ryan Lochte at something else this week. While Lochte is reportedly fielding offers for a reality TV show as he makes his move to Los Angeles, his retired pal Phelps is already set to begin filming his episodes of Golf Channel’s The Haney Project, in which he’ll get tips on improving his game from Tiger Woods’ former coach Hank Haney.
Don’t worry, Ryan. We can give you an extra edge in this (made up) race. We know you’re considering Dancing With the Stars, which has made ballroom dancers out of many an Olympian before, but how about some less predictable choices? Here are our own outlandish ideas:
1. Lochte is a huge Lil’ Wayne fan and tried to wear a diamond American-flag grill on the podium while receiving a gold medal. This makes us hope MTV will up and revive Celebrity Rap Superstar just for him (and maybe Tom Hardy). We’re sure his tooth jewels will make up for any talent shortages he has as a rapper, and we have no doubt it would be wildly entertaining to watch this legend try to drop some beats. We wonder how many times he would throw “Jeah!” into his raps.
As we mentioned this morning, after seeing Usain Bolt‘s gold-medal celebration, we have certain high expectations for how we’d celebrate Olympic victory … in our heads. But there are all sorts of ways to express your joy over emerging as the greatest person IN THE WORLD at whatever it is you do. We figured we could group them into categories, for convenience sake, as we relive some triumphant — and totally gleeful — moments from the past week and look forward to more in the days to come.
1. By yourself:
Serena Williams caught some flak for doing her little victory dance after clenching her first ever singles gold on Saturday morning — the cute, joyful move has its origins in gang culture and is called the Crip Walk. But we’re pretty sure it’s been removed from that context by now, no?
Olympic super babe and gold medalist Ryan Lochte continued his string of exceedingly terrible interviews this morning (Not that we care.) (See also: super babe), telling Ryan Seacrest that not only does he pee in the pool, so does every other Olympic swimmer as well. “Of course. We always do,” Lochte laughed. “Not during the races, but I sure did before in warm-up.” Claimed Ryan, “There’s something about getting into chlorine water that you just automatically go.” Yeah, it’s the water’s fault. The whole thing got us thinking: if every Olympic swimmer actually does pee in the pool, how much urine are we talking about? As it turns out, so much urine:
Let’s begin the equation by supposing, as Livestong claims, the average adult bladder holds approximately 2 cups of pee, often more. Clearly there will a lot of a variation in volume between athletes, but seeing as how virtually all Olympians are peak physical condition, 2 cups seems like a fair guesstimate. Also? We’re calculating the volume of Olympian wee wee in a pool here, so let’s not lose our minds over accuracy.
We’re used to seeing the most absolutely delicious photos of Ryan Lochte. Those chiseled abs, that million-dollar smile, those eyes that look right through to our souls…that happens for you guys too, right? We thought so. Well our boy Ry is turning 28 today! And what’s he doing to celebrate? Well, his run in the 2012 Olympics is over after receiving silver in the 200m individual medley and bronze in the 200m backstroke on Thursday, so he’ll be cheering on his fellow team USA competitors. Even though he calls his results in London just “a little above average,” he really does make us so proud. He is coming home with two golds, two silvers and one bronze, not to mention a “Call Me Maybe” parody and a tweet of support from his all time fave, Lil Wayne (maybe Weezy heard our plea.)
We have learned that Lochte may not be the best rep from men’s swimming to interview, but he is one of the most successful! On top of his collection of medals, Lochte also fancies himself a designer with the limited edition line of footwear that he put together with Speedo (be sure to check out the green, rhinestone-encrusted high-tops). But what’s one thing we love the most about Lochte? It’s how he can pull off the most ridiculous facial expressions and still be totally charming! Whether it’s in the pool, on deck, in an interview or at a shoot, Lochte has shown us just how hot he really is even when caught on camera in the silliest of ways.
[Photos: Getty Images]
To those of us who aren’t big sports fans during normal times, the Olympics provide an introduction to all those sportscasters the rest of you know and love (or don’t) the whole year through. This week I feel like I got to know veteran sports reporter Andrea Kremer. She’s a veteran and a pioneer with all sorts of accolades — but none of that is what impresses me. It’s how she’s able to hold a mic up to these beautiful specimens of the male body, still panting from the races they’ve won or lost, their swimsuits hanging impossibly low on their hips (do they yank them down for the camera?), their hair mussed and free from caps, their skin glistening just so with pool water, and she looks at their EYES. The Atlantic Wire says her questions are sometimes biting and hard, but we think they’re rather straightforward — “What happened?” “How does it feel to win?” And then she smiles and nods in response without once reaching out to test Michael Phelps‘ abs, to stroke a Ryan Lochte pec, to point out that Conor Dwyer’s trunks are showing a little too much. That, my friends, is a skill that comes only with practice and hard work. Here’s a little gallery of Andrea Kremer NOT staring at male swimmers’ chests at the 2012 London Games.
First of all, we don’t want to take away from this moment for you, Conor Dwyer. During your second of two finals at your Olympic debut, you helped make history. As the second U.S. swimmer in the Men’s 4X200m Freestyle, you built off of Ryan Lochte’s initial lead and helped win gold — bringing teammate Michael Phelps‘ medal tally up to a record 19. That is truly awesome. But now we want to pull you aside for a little chat…
As we watched you and the other boys catch your breath as NBC’s Andrea Kremer interviewed you, we could NOT pay attention to anything anyone was saying because of your distractingly see-through trunks. What is up with those? And OK, they feature more opaque briefs beneath the transparent layer, but that actually didn’t help much. Let’s take a closer look, just to see whether my eyes were deceiving me. The race did air rather late at night.
There’s nothing more aw-worthy than seeing celebrities from different industries become fans of each other. Justin Bieber tweeted at U.S. Olympic swimmer, Missy Franklin today that he heard that she’s a fan of his. “Now im a fan of hers too. CONGRATS on winning GOLD!” and added the very adorable “#muchlove” tag. We wish we saw more of this celeb interaction! Athletes are glued to their headphones before competition to get pumped up in London and some Olympians have confessed their love for certain artists. What we’d like to see is these artists responding with support for the folks who are seriously earning their celebrity status this summer.
- Ryan Lochte loves Lil Wayne. How much so, you ask? Well, Wayne’s song “Sky’s the Limit” is on Lochte’s pump-up playlist. Not only that but Lochte’s dog’s name is Carter, named after a certain Dwayne Michael Carter, aka rapper Lil Wayne. Oh, yeah, and there are those grills.
- The Dream Team’s LeBron James loves Big K.R.I.T. James said that Big K.R.I.T’s song, “I Got This” “was one of [the Miami Heat's] theme songs this year.”
For those of you watching the Olympics for more than just the heat of the competition but also for the incredibly “fit” teams (we’ve been brushing up on our British slang), this post is for you! We love ourselves some hot athletes, and when they’re all on the same team, we’ll definitely be glued to our screens. Cue entrance for the gorgeous girls on the Netherlands’ field hockey team. The team plays on Tuesday against Japan, and we suggest you pencil them in! Yahoo! Sports has taken quite a liking to these girls as well.
Of course, you already know we can’t get enough of the impeccable (sorry) bods on the U.S. men’s swimming team. We have been loving all of the attention Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte have been getting on all of the top hottest athletes lists, but make your own decision while watching the team compete again this afternoon.
Then have a look at the beautiful men’s water polo team from Australia. If you didn’t see them today, make sure too watch them compete tomorrow morning — we can’t even comprehend the amount of strength and endurance it takes to bob and weave and throw and block around the pool like that, but we can understand the very nice results. Last but not least, are the gorgeous ladies of the U.S. women’s track and field team, who will start competing August 3. Check out their fan page for tons of photos and videos of these Olympians, and then take a minute or two to vote. May the most gush-worthy team win!
[Photos: Getty Images]
As much as we love the Olympics, don’t worry, VH1 Celebrity is not going to go into the sports-writing business. So if you’re looking for a place to find out whether Ryan Lochte or Michael Phelps is going to win more races today, this is not it. We know they are swimming a lot today. Here’s the schedule. And now onto the things we know how to write about: How delicious these 27-year-old friends and rivals are, and what is interesting about their lives outside of the pool.
Are they single?
Rumor has it that Ryan’s got his eye on Australian swimmer Blair Evans. Last year, Michael broke up with former Miss California Nicole Johnson.
How hot are they?
Sorry that was a gratuitous question so we could share this Vogue cover and Details spread.
The 2012 Summer Olympic athletes aren’t the only ones who are going to need to hit the showers after competition, we’re going to need a cool down too! Olympians are bringing the heat to this summer’s games in London with scorching hot bods and impeccable bone structure to boot. And let us just say, we are damn proud to be Americans. So many of our top sexiest athletes hail from these United States. We clearly have an obsession with Ryan Lochte and don’t worry, he’s in there, but Michael Phelps, Andy Roddick, Hope Solo, Lolo Jones also make an appearance along with plenty of their fellow Team USA competitors that we can’t get enough of. And of course, what would the Olympic games be without sportsmanship? We also mixed in plenty of foreign flavor from Spain, Brazil, Norway and Switzerland amongst so many others. It’s taking everything we’ve got not to book our flights to London while simultaneously writing this post. All hail the hotties sprinting, jumping, dunking, swimming, kicking, rowing, serving, and working their spectacular butts off. Viewers, you are going to need a towel and a glass of water for this one…
Related: The Top 10 Most Inspirational Olympic Moments Of All Time
Olympics Opening Ceremonies: The 25 Best/Worst/Nuttiest Costumes Since 1908
[Photos: Getty Images]