If you look back through the mists of time, you might recall that it was Charlie Sheen’s hotel meltdown that kicked off the actor’s epic tour de insanity, which ended with his exit fromTwo And A Half Men. Denise Richards sure can remember it. In fact, her memory is so clear, she’s finally telling her side of the bizarre story to USWeekly. The tale starts like most Charlie Sheen stories: with porn stars gathered around the supper table. “Charlie invited me to this dinner with ‘friends,’ and once I realized what these women did for a living, I thought, ‘It’s one meal; you can suck it up and get through it,”says Richards of the incident last fall. “It’s not my place to judge how they make a paycheck.” Maybe it isn’t your place to judge, Denise, but can’t we agree it’s your place to immediately tell everyone and their grandma about it? If it was our ex-husband, we would have been on the phone with the press before they hosed the cocaine off of him.
Later that night after putting daughters Sam and Lola to bed, Denise says, “About an hour later, I was awakened by sounds outside my door, including walkie-talkies, which is never a good sign. A few minutes later, the cops showed up. Several officers went into Charlie’s room, and a sergeant came into mine.” And the rest…is history. Really depressing history. Richards reveals even more true Sheen-ius in her new memoir Real Girl Next Door, describing interesting Charlie facts such as the actor’s unyielding paranoia. “His bedroom doorÃ¢â‚¬Â¦was bulletproof,” Richards writes. “A fire pole was in the closet (which one of our cats fell through, but he was okay) in case a quick escape to the ground floor was necessary. And the house had a panic room.” Scratch that: we would have had a reporter on the phone the second our cat fell down the poll. Lord only knows how the porn stars were managing it.
Apparently when Charlie Sheen scoffed “A guy has one bad night and everyone goes insane, panics,” he meant everyone but the NYPD. Earlier today, Charlie Sheen was cleared of criminal charges stemming from that October 25 hotel room trashing, when we all learned more than we wanted to about how Charlie conducts his personal life. Following the incident Sheen’s companion for the evening, porn star Capri Anderson, pressed charges against the actor, alleging that Sheen held her against her will on their room at the Plaza Hotel while on a drug-fueled rant. Or as Charlie might put it, “literally every Monday night.”
Sheen was also not charged at any point with cocaine use or ransacking his hotel room, despite the fact that he did so much of both. Sheen then went back to his role on Two And A Half Men, where he is allowed to interact with a child and be broadcast into millions of decent people’s homes. [Photo: Getty Images]
We would have questioned the sanity of any woman who touched – let alone dated – skeezeball supreme Jesse James after his very-public and very-appalling break-up with Sandra Bullock. What self-respecting woman would sign up for 99% guaranteed cheating and a maybe/maybe-not resolved Nazi fetish?! Ladies and gentlemen, Kat Von D.
Since 2007, LA Ink‘s tattooed vixen has had more than her fair share of men who are “rough” (i.e. heavily-inked, drunk, and maybe drugged) around the edges. We can tack banging bad boys onto Von D’s list of habits she can’t break, right along side surgically narrowing her nose and lifting her eyebrows. (Take a closer look at Kat Von D’s plastic surgery blunder earlier this year.)
To help us all make sense of her latest romance with the most hated man in Hollywood, take a look at our photographic timeline of rumored, confirmed, and in-our-dreams hook-ups with everyone from Steve-O to Nikki Sixx to Kevin Jonas. [Photos: Getty Images]
According to gay porn actor Cal Culver, not only wasSuperman actor Christopher Reevethe Man of Steel, he might also steal yo’ man. (TheFABLife would like to apologize for that amazing pun.) Anyhoo, in an interview Culver gave before he passed away in 1987, he claimed that he dated Reeve for two months in the ‘70s, saying “Christopher was a great lover and I think I liberated him sexually.”
Oh my gosh, that is so scanda…waaaaaait a minute. Did you say the ’70s? Well, that’s not that tawdry at all! Maybe today their relationship would have been deemed a torrid gay love affair between a gay porn star and a devastatingly handsome All-American actor. But back then it was just called “Tuesday.” Continued Culver, “I didn’t think he was gay but he seemed willing to try anything once. He was curious.”
Right, because it was Tuesday. Unfortunately for Culver, Reeve allegedly dumped him when he found out Culver was working in porn. Man, if we had a dime for every time a super-hunky movie star broke up with us because they found out we were acting in pornos. Well, let’s just say we would have an exceedingly large number of dimes. It’s probably more likely Reeve left because he knew Culver would start giving interviews to people on the bus if they would let him talk about sleeping with Superman. BECAUSE WHO WOULDN’T?!?! Do you remember what Reeve looked like in the movie The Rose and the Jackal? No? Just us? Well, he looked like a real dreamboat. Besides, what’s the point of sleeping with a famous person if you can’t tell everyone? By the way, on a totally unrelated note, does anyone want to publish a tell-all about Jon Lovitz we’ve been shopping around?
Michelle Bombshell McGeeis really sorry about this whole “I screwedSandra Bullock‘s husband and then told the world about it” mess. The tattooed goddess spilled all in an interview with an Australian media outlet (not sure if Bombshell is too good for American TV or American TV is too good for Bombshell) and revealed all the juicy deets about what it was like to have sex with Jesse James on the couch at West Coast Chopper – 2 or 3 times during their first in-person meeting! (They really met on Myspace, natch.)
Mich feels like Jesse played both her and Sandra, and claims he told her he and Sandy were separated. “She lives in Austin, I live here,” he apparently said. But with $30,000 in her pocket for telling her story, Michelle now feels guilty for ruining what was destined to be Sandra’s best year ever. “I’m sorry for your embarrassment,” blabs Bombshell. “I’m sorry all this is public. I’m sorry for everything.”
Rightttttt. But our favorite part of the whole piece is Michelle’s description of what she liked about Jesse (besides the dollar signs she saw): “He’s got tattoos, you know? He’s like my perfect, ideal guy. He’s funny, he’s a business owner, he’s got tattoos…”
The Jesse James-Sandra Bullock situation is bizarre to say the least. The actress and her estranged husband have full custody of at least one of this three children, daughter Sunny with porn star Janine Lindemuler. However Jesse’s entire gaggle of offspring is currently holed up alongside Sandra while he deals with his mistress-f*cking issues in an Arizona sex rehab center.
The professional celebrity stalkers at TMZ report that Sandy and the kids are not staying at her Hollywood Hills home, but are somewhere together. Says their source, “It’s a positive sign about Sandra’s relationship with Jesse.” Or it’s just a sign that Sandra is a caring stepmother who doesn’t want to screw over the kids they way their dad screwed her over. And who better to comfort her as her marriage crumbles than the cheater’s sweet kids. Bizarre indeed.
Nike really wants us to forgive Tiger Woods (and obviously, so does Tiger) and they’re making the empathy push with this new 30 second ad. In it, Tiger gives the camera creepy eyes as a recording plays of his deceased father questioning his son’s decisions. It’s…weird, and it reeks of major manipulation on behalf of Tiger and the people for whom he makes money (and of course, vice versa).
It’s gonna take a lot more than a black and white commercial and Tiger’s “forgive me” eyes to make us like the dude again. Honestly, the more he tries to push ahead and get his career back on track, the more horrified we are by his actions. Just yesterday, Tiger’s neighbor claimed that she had sex with the star as well, bringing his affair tally up to 17 (a rough estimate). So by our count, he needs to make 16 more apologetic commercials, plus a short film making amends with his wife.
Everyone have their barf buckets ready? The following is by far the worst tale yet to emerge in theJesse James sex scandal. Sandra Bullock‘s beloved (heh) husband allegedly had a foursome with good ol’ Michelle Bombshell McGee, tattoo artist Eric McDougall, and his receptionist Skittles. Let’s repeat that: Jesse James banged two women at the same time, named Bombshell and Skittles, with another dude. Oh Sandy, we hope you have an infinite amount of shoulders to cry on.
Eric, who owns Ocean Beach Tattoo and Piercing in San Diego, tells Life & Style that the group met at the Ink-N-Iron tattoo festival in June 2009. While Sandra was off promoting The Proposal, Jesse, who Michelle introduced as her boyfriend, went to town nailing both ladies. Says Skittles, “Eric and I were having sex, so we switched off, and Jesse and I had sex. I had an awesome time. I think Jesse is so cute.”
Because this story can only get better, it’s also revealed that Jesse did not use a condom. [Cue vomit]
Cheating in Hollywood is as common place as nose jobs – everyone does it, and everyone denies it. Since the start of the new year alone, both Jesse James and Tiger Woods have f*cked their way to infamy, leaving behind trails of tattooed mistresses and dirty text messages. But the secret sex game is old school, and Sunset Boulevard is littered with tales of two-timing guys who have cheated on their wives with their co-star, nanny, assistant, intern, escort, or whoever else they could get their hands on. Sometimes the mistress is even more famous than the married man she’s bedding, if not before their affair than certainly after.
Some of these ladies went on to land their man, while others posed for Playboy and started failed handbag lines. But long after the sex ends and the scandals die, their legends live on – on Wikipedia at least. Check out the FABlife’s picks for the Most Scandalous Alleged Celebrity Mistresses below.
The only thing that makes Devon stand out against his other booty calls is her depressing website DevonJamesxxx.com, which looks like it was made in 1996 and never updated again. (What can we say, we like our porn stars with HTML skills.) On it she reveals her that she’s 29, from Sarasota, Florida, and she offers a check list of the different kinds of porno she’s into. ‘Anal with toys’ – yes, ‘creampies’ – no. [NYDN. Photos: GettyImages, DevonJamesxxx.com]