by (@shalapitcher)

Katie Holmes Vs. Tom Cruise: All The Scientology Rumors, Explanations And More

Suri Cruise and Katie Holmes go out for ice cream

So many of the rumors about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise‘s divorce center on Scientology, we’re starting to suspect this is all part of Anonymous’ plot to take down the religion, or was that Paul Haggis’ plot? Whatever. We can’t pretend to understand L. Ron Hubbard’s teachings or the many mysteries surrounding the Church of Scientology (most of what we know, we learned from that South Park episode, really), but we can round up all of what we’ve heard and read in one convenient place. Enjoy!

  • Some say Katie’s main reason for filing was to protect Suri from the Scientology practice of auditing — which is a method of questioning that helps the subject clear themselves of negative influences. We’re probably explaining this wrong, so find out all about it here. Katie herself didn’t seem all that comfortable with auditing, as she supposedly held back during questioning. Also, an ex-Scientologist says her parents were getting inside reports about what she said during the process. That’s extra, extra creepy.
  • By the way, the Church is not opposed to divorce in and of itself, according to ABC News. They just prefer couples try therapy first. Fair enough.
  • Speculation that Tom Cruise’s marriages are all a Scientology scheme to hide his sexuality are nothing new, so is that really the religion’s M.O.? outlines Scientology’s stance on homosexuality. Basically Hubbard originally called being gay an illness (but that’s what all of psychology thought in the 1950s, too). But in the past two decades, some gay Scientologists have said that they are fully accepted by the religion. Hmmm, that’s not to say they wouldn’t want to help one of their most prominent members stay in the closet.

Read more…

by (@missmuttoo)

It’s John Travolta …. From The 1860’s!

In one of the more eerie stories we’ve heard in awhile, a man from Canada has posted a photograph of who he believes to be John Travolta from around 1860, on Ebay. We’re not talking about a movie, or any gimmick here. The dealer really does think that the “Original 1860’s Ambrotype” is John! Because the actor is a Scientologist, see? The dealer explains, “For those of you who don’t know, John Travolta is a Scientologist and many Scientologists can Time travel. The belief is that time travel is possible and may have even happened before to them in the past. Some events may not be remembered by the person….” He’s also asking for $250,000 for it! Time travel means big money.

All we know is that really is the spitting image of John. It’s totally bizarre that it was taken a 151 years ago because that could be a young Travolta. Considering Scientology also believe in reincarnation — let’s not throw that out of the window either! What do you guys think? The similarities are astounding, right?

[Photo via Ebay]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Katie Holmes Is A Slutty Pumpkin

Put down the lawsuit, Tom Cruise, we’re not insulting your lovely wife Katie Holmes. We’re just talking about her latest acting role! Katie is celebrating Halloween this year with a guest spot on How I Met Your Mother, where she will play the mysterious “Slutty Pumpkin.” The woman clad in a scandalous jack-o-lantern outfit stole Ted’s heart at a Halloween party years ago, and he’s been trying to track her down ever since. But lucky for him, it looks like this is the year that he gets reunited with his beloved Slutty Pumpkin. It’s a Halloween miracle! “Katie is a lovely and talented actress,” show creator Craig Thomas told NY Magazine, “which is why we’ve saved for her perhaps the most classily named character in our show’s history.” We can’t wait til the episode airs when Halloween gets nearer.

And speaking of scary things, Katie’s daughter Suri Cruise reported to her first day of programming school last week. The five-year-old will be attending the New Village Leadership Academy, a Scientology-based school which uses L. Ron Hubbard’s “study technology” educational model. It’s apparently a free form kind of place, where students work at their own pace to complete tasks and teachers give individual attention to each child. Doesn’t sound bad, right? But god forbid if the kid yawns. Apparently ol’ L. Ron believed that yawning was a sign that a child misunderstood the concept. So load up on expresso, kids! And attending students are also encouraged to sculpt the concepts they’ve learned about in clay. According to L. Ron, children need access to “mass” or else they start to feel “sort of spinny” and “squashed.” If it were us, we’d sculpt ourselves a shiv and get the hell out of there. No, put that lawsuit back DOWN Tom Cruise! We’re just kidding!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

John Travolta Thinks He Has Scientology Healing Powers, Says Josh Brolin

All religions sound a little odd if you aren’t a participating member, but Scientology is leading the wacky pack. Following Kelly Preston’s silent birth, the church’s rampant homophobia and everything Tom Cruise has done in the past seven years is Josh Brolin‘s new claim (in an epic article about the Scientology in the New Yorker) that  John Travolta tried to heal Marlon Brando with his hands. Why do we even spend money at the movies when we get stories like this for free? According to Brolin, he first visited the church a “moment of real desperation” for “auditing,” thinking that the success of stars such as Cruise and Travolta might be based on their religious affiliation, not realizing of course that they are all insane in the membrane.

Later, Brolin saw the wonder of Scientology in action at a dinner party in L.A. When movie legend Brando arrived with a cut on his leg sustained helping a stranded car, Travolta informed him that he had reached a new level of Scientology, put his hands on Brando’s leg, and attempted to heal him of his pain. We seriously need a cigarette after this story; that’s how good it is. “I watched this process going on—it was very physical,” recalls Brolin. “I was thinking, This is really f—ing bizarre! Then, after ten minutes, Brando opens his eyes and says, ‘That really helped. I actually feel different!'” We guess curing people with the laying on of hands isn’t a completely foreign idea in our society. Plenty of people have done it, like Jesus and…um, the X-Men. Travolta’s lawyers have dismissed the story as “pure fabrication,” but if it’s anything like the “untrue” rumors about Travolta’s gay affairs, we look forward seeing John Travolta: Superstar hit Broadway any day now.


Kelly Preston Discusses Her Crazy-Sounding Silent Birth Process

Kelly Preston went on The Today Show this morning to discuss her new son Benjamin, who was born last November, and she certainly sounds like a blissed-out new mom. It’s great to hear that Benjamin is helping Preston and husband John Travolta heal over the tragic death of their eldest son Jett, who passed away after having a seizure in 2009. What’s a little more bizarre are the details of Preston’s “silent birth,” the Scientology-approved method where women are completely non-verbal and stay as quiet as possible during their labor. You might recall that Katie Holmes reportedly went through silent birth with Suri in 2005.

Preston explains “Silent birth is basically just no words as much as possible. If you need to moan, if you need to cry out…of course that’s normal. But, it’s just bringing them in, in as peaceful and gentle a way as possible.” Well, we can appreciate the motives behind this, but it still sounds a little wackadoo to us. It gets even more wackadoo when she continues “L. Ron Hubbard found that the single source of aberration, of psychosomatic illnesses, stress, fears, worry, things like that, have to do with the reactive mind, and in that part of the mind is different words and commands that can come back to affect you later in your life.” When we read that part, all we could imagine was the sound that the grown-ups make in Peanuts cartoons when they talk. We just don’t buy it. But the important thing is that she believes it, and she’ll be the one who’s saved when the aliens come back to earth to kill us/save us/whatever the Scientology aliens do.

by (@unclegrambo)

Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen’s Divorce Is Getting Uglier By The Minute

Red Is The Color Of Anger, You Know!rnrnTrue story! Before I worked here at VH1, I was an editor for Vulture, which is New York magazine’s entertainment vertical*. In the halcyon days of January 2009, I wrote a brief post called “Fred Armisen Making Time With Peggy Olson” when I first heard the news that the SNL funny man was dating Elisabeth Moss. And you know what? Less than an hour later, I received an email from none other than Fred himself, a missive which: A) Thanked me for writing a nice piece and B) Explained how in love he was with “Lizzie.” Of course, this endeared me even more to them as a couple, a couple who I already felt was bringing more goodness into the world than evil. (As someone who writes about celebrities for a living, believe me, I rarely feel this way.)rnrnSo, naturally, it came as a total bummer when I read last month that the couple was calling it quits after just seven months of wedded bliss. But hey, these things happen, the two of them would surely play nice in the sandbox and peacefully move on with their lives, right? Wrong-o.rnrn Read more…

by (@missmuttoo)

Scientologists Weigh In On John Travolta, Kelly Preston’s New Baby


We just wrote about John Travolta and Kelly Preston‘s new baby. After the news came out, various Scientologists – Travolta and Preston are both staunch believers – have expressed their opinions on why the couple got pregnant.

They’ve had to cope with the devastating loss of their 16-year-old autistic son, Jett Travolta, from a seizure, which happened last year. The tenets of Scientology state that a follower’s spirit has had multiple lives. It will live on in another body after death, and thus carries on never truly passing away.

Michael Pattinson, an artist who quit Scientology in 1997 after 24 years and later, sued the group, thinks they’re having this baby so that Jett’s spirit will live on! He said, “The whole ethos of Scientology is that we come back. With Sea Org [the sect’s upper echelon], they ask members to sign billion-year contracts. Their motto is ‘We Come Back.’ It makes sense that the Travoltas would have another baby after losing Jett.”

A Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis disagrees, saying, “We believe that when people pass away, the spirit leaves the body and moves to another body right away. I wouldn’t want to make any comment on the Travoltas and the passing of their son, but for someone to suggest such a thing sounds pretty reprehensible to me.”

Rick Ross, founder of the Ross Institute, which researches Scientology adds, “I don’t believe they consider the child to be a reincarnation of Jett. I think they are fervently hoping the child will be born free of autism. They would have had Kelly go through the purification rundown to make sure her body is free of toxins. They believe surrounding negativity could affect an unborn child in the womb and will go to lengths to create a pure and positive environment.”

Whatever the reasons are, a person is entitled to their own belief system. Here’s hoping the baby, due November, is happy and healthy.

[Photo: Splash News Online]


The Night I Did Heroin With Peaches Geldof: One Man’s Story


Gawker is reporting a fascinating, we-couldn’t-look-away story about a guy who met British model-singer person Peaches Geldof in L.A. when they were both crashing at a friend’s place, and ended up having a night that should seriously be turned into a The Hangover-style movie. Only  instead of meeting Mike Tyson and getting drunk, this guy did heroin and ended up on the way to meeting Xenu at the Scientology Center in L.A.

Reddit user Thatcoolguyben wrote his account of a night spent with Peaches Geldof, and while any part of it could be fabricated, he has the NSFW pictures of Peaches to prove that at the very least, he got naked with her. We’re condensing his story down to some of the juicier bits – the entire thing is posted at Gawker - and it basically reads like hipster porn, all the way down to the part where they decide to get each others’ names tattooed.

“At 3am I grab my friends car keys, and head out. We drive all over Hollywood looking for a tattoo parlor, with no luck. While driving around we get on the topic of drugs. At this point in my life I was very into all drugs, as was she. She told me she had a bit of heroin she brought with her from the UK and asked me if I was game. I was so the hunt began. . .At about 5am I was high as a kite and we start to watch a movie. Things get hot and heavy and before I know it we’re naked. . . We continued to use all night so I was quite foggy about the happenings. I faintly remember her asking me for a ride and me driving her somewhere. I awoke at about 1pm in a sauna, throwing up all over the place. . .I look around and read some stuff realizing I’m in the Celebrity Scientology Center in LA. This girl ended up being a hardcore Scientologist and a D-List celebrity, and we were doing a process called Purif. . .Not until days later when I looked through my camera of the pictures of that night did I fully realize everything.”

And by “Everything,” he means “Holy sh*t, I just shot up with the daughter of the guy who wrote “I Don’t Like Mondays” – score!?” If it wasn’t for Peaches’ signature tats (which we got a good look at when we saw her lingerie ad photos), we don’t know if we would believe this, but the proof is in the ink, we think.

View Photo Gallery


Peaches Geldof Is A Scientologist

Tom Cruise and John Travolta better open the doors of that Scientology Celebrity Center to accommodate another big star – yes, world, Peaches Geldof has decided to join their ranks! In a toe-curlingly awful documentary shown last night on British TV, “Fearne Meets Peaches”, the spoilt dilettante proved that she’s exactly how we perceived her to be, i.e. rude, self-obsessed, generally unpleasant and speaking in a hilarious Transatlantic twang.

But the big reveal from this unholy televisual mess is that Peaches has been a Scientologist for like, two years now. And she explains her religious beliefs in a typically astute fashion: “It’s like, something I agree with? I felt like I needed to have a spiritual path? It’s like I always kind of felt like I was lacking something when I didn’t have a faith. It’s like pop psychology.”

Well, we’re in no doubt that if Scientology want another follower to give their PR-embattled “religion” a positive boost, they, er, had better look elsewhere. [Video: YouTube]


Suri Goes To Catholic School


Katie Holmes has rebelled against her husband Tom Cruise and vast amounts of Scientology brain-training by enrolling their daughter Suri in a Catholic pre-school. According to a report, the super-stylish tot is not going to be committing the works of Xenu to heart just yet, as she’s attending Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning in Boston.

“[Katie] is not convinced by Scientology and has told Tom that she wants Suri to be educated as a Catholic – as she was. They had been having huge problems agreeing on her school. To say they were having arguments is putting it mildly – but Tom came around to the idea in the end,” reports the Daily Mail.

While we’re pleasantly surprised to hear that Katie indeed has a foot, and she likes to put it down sometimes, a little bell is ringing in our head reminding us of Nicole Kidman. Didn’t she end up trying to reject Scientology for her and their adopted kids before the split? We’re just sayin’. [Photo: WireImage]