On the latest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashains Kris Humphries was shocked -shocked!- to learn that his fiancee Kim Kardashian had already been been married once before. Which is weird because he could have learned this by doing a ten-second scan of his wife-to-be’s Wikipedia page. Yes, despite all the hype around Kim’s “big day”, people seem to forget that this ain’t her first trip down the aisle. In 2000 she tied the knot with record producer Damon Thomas, which ended in divorce four years later. But apparently no one told Kris about this until after the couple were already engaged. One of Kim’s relatives evidently let it slip during a Kardashian family vacation in Bora Bora.
“You were really married? You guys are serious?” gasped a visibly shaken Humphries as they sat around the fancy dinner table. The fellow Kardashian men tried to cheer him up, with some attempts more successful than others. “Kim wasn’t really married,” Rob Kardashian offered confusingly, while Scott Disick lived up to his mega-douche title by saying, “You really thought that you were going to the first?” Charming. Kris was pretty bummed out, moaning “I didn’t see that coming, that hit me like a ton of bricks. What else will Kim break to me?” But as we all know now, he got over it and the two lived happily ever after in the land of Donk.
What we wanna know is, how did this not come up before? Come on guys, communication is key to any relationship. Maybe the K-Kult were keeping the factoid hidden until they could spring it on him while the cameras were rolling. Ratings are ratings, y’all. But seriously, we thought that knowledge of Kim’s previous marriage was just kinda…out there. So we’re not sure who to be mad at in this sitch. Let this be a lesson to couples everywhere: always remember to Google your significant other before you pop the question.
Scott Disick and Jay Leno must have a had a fun time trying to keep eye contact with Kim & Khloe Kardashian yesterday. The ladies were apparently too busy Thursday to change outfits between their appearance on The Tonight Show, a Tom Ford party and dinner at Mr. Chow’s with Scott Disick, showing off impressive decolletage at all three.
Kim kept things bubbly with Leno, discussing her relationship with Kris Humphries (“I was really afraid of [tall guys]. I’m, like, the biggest hypocrite now, ’cause now I feel so tiny and small and so protected. It’s like the best feeling in the world to be with a really tall guy”), but Kourtney’s still obsessed with the horror of having to kiss a man during her One Life To Live appearance. “I feel like a prostitute, being paid to kiss someone” said Kourtney. Well, there goes the rom-com career she never had a chance of sustaining anyway.
See more photos of the sisters—and Scott!—in the gallery below.
The FABLife given you 64 celebrities to vote for in our March Celebrity Madness polls this month…and now comes the madness! Today we’re tackling the top half of our Sweet 16 to find out who will advance to the Elite 8 on Wednesday. These stars have all proven victorious in their division, but it’s up to you who gets a step closer to being our ultimate icon of FAB. You’ve got till 10am EST Tuesday to make your voice heard, so vote now and vote often!
Scott Disick may have beaten Justin Bieber and Kanye West to win Celebrity Bad Boy, but sexy Scot Gerard Butler managed to push past Robert Pattinson to take Boneworthy Brit. Who wins this round?
We’ve given you 64 celebrities to vote for in our March Celebrity Madness polls this month…and now comes the madness! Starting Monday we’ll pit the winners of the last two week’s polls against each other until we’ve found our ultimate FAB icon (click on the bracket above for a closer look at who’s competing). Here’s what we’ve got in store!
Wednesday 3/30: Butler or Disick vs. J-Woww or Aguilera, Perry or Rossdale vs Gosling or Eisenberg, Mars or Steinfeld vs. Kunis or Damon, Colfer or Glover vs. Kardashian or Shayk – polls close 10am EST on 3/31
Thursday 3/31: The Final Four! – polls close 10am EST on 4/1
Friday 4/1: The Championship Round! – polls close 10am EST on 4/4
Take the weekend to wrest your wrists, because there will be plenty of clicking to do come Monday!
The FABLife is playing March Celebrity Madness this month, putting 64 of our favorite stars into brackets and having you vote to decide our ultimate FAB icon. First we’ll be pitting four similar celebs against each other in the divisionals, with the winners pairing (and squaring) off in our Sweet 16 until only one is left standing. It’s just like the NCAA, except…ok, it’s nothing like the NCAA.
This morning we’re taking a look at some of our favorite bad boys…Kanye West and John Mayer have put their feet in their mouths as often as they’ve dropped great tracks—though plenty of ladies still love them—and Scott Disick‘s Patrick Bateman vibe has been giving everyone the willies on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Justin Bieber may be new at the controversial interview game, but between his cowbell pranks on Willow Smith and his once-secret relationship with overage Selena Gomez, this guy’s got real promise. Which one is your favorite?
We still can’t figure out why Men’s Fitness put Scott Disick on their cover for May’s issue. We know him as only three things — the angry dude, Mason’s daddy and Kourtney Kardashian‘s boyfriend. That’s it, period. Is that enough for someone to get mag’s selling? Seriously? As you can tell we’re not fans so don’t start with us. But his girlfriend clearly is. Koutney tweeted about the cover, gushing, “I love @scottdisick’s Men’s Fitness cover!! He looks like James Dean!” We’re just going to say it. No, he does not, Kourtney. R.I.P Dean. We do not want him turning in his grave. And this is just a guess, but looking at the cover, Disick’s bronzed chiseled Zoolander face and bod looks like someone did a little something that rhymes with Photoshop.
Surprisingly, someone other than Kourtney also thinks Scott’s perfect for the cover. That would be Scott himself, duh. The shoot was aired on an episode of Kourtney and Kim Take New York where he said, “When you think of a debonair ridiculously good looking guy, you think of me”. We’re going to scream this as loud as we can, just to make our point — NO, WE DON’T. Remove three letters of your name, and that’ll tell you what we think of you. Think we’re being way harsh? The dude got his poor assistant Dale to buy him underwear at the shoot. And settling in as the grossest thing we heard all day, he yelled at Dale saying, “You know what Dale, give me your boxers.” Guess what, Dale quit. After calling Scott, “an egotistical, pompous a—hole.” Word.
If the report is to be believed,Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are engaged. Congratulations!(?) Life & Style reports that the proposal took place—where else?— on-camera during the taping of the finale of Kourtney And Kim Take New York. The episode isn’t scheduled to air until April, so Kourtney and Scott are remaining silent about their betrothal status, but a source says she’s been wearing her ring around the house and can’t wait to wear it in public. Do these people do anything off-camera?
While we’re still in the “What does she see in that guy?” camp and can’t get over his resemblance to the sociopath serial killer Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, we hope they’re happy and stay together for the sake of their TV shows son, Mason.
UPDATE: Us Magazine reports that Kourtney Kardashian has denied the engagement, She Tweeted earlier “WOW!! Where do the mags come up with this stuff? And claiming exclusives? Come on now.” So she’s either definitely not engaged or still trying to keep her TV show spoiler-free. It’s so hard to tell with these Kardashians.
Kourtney Kardashian‘s baby daddy Scott Disick has proudly admitted that he’s a clone of Patrick Bateman, the main character in American Psycho. We thought it was limited to his penchant for designer suits and slick hair, but Scott actually has a bit of the old Bateman rage too, especially when it comes to the paparazzi.
Disick flipped out on a photographer that got a bit too close to baby Mason on Wednesday as the family arrived at Miami International Airport and got in his face, screaming “Don’t get that f—g close to my kid, man!” Kourtney put it a bit more diplomatically on her blog the following day, writing “Paparazzi beware. Please don’t get too close to Mason. We don’t like it. Stay at a friendly distance, don’t ask dumb questions and we can all get along.” For more photos of Disick losing it, click through the gallery below.
We are seriously torn about the Kardashian’s new Christmas card. On the one hand, we will defend any extended family’s right to be as fabulous as they want to be, no matter what time of the year it is. On the other hand, they look like a community theater cast of Clue that might have actually killed someone. Can the grandmas and co-workers of the world handle a holiday card filled with so many divas?
Gushes Khloe about the picture, “Christmas cards have always been a REALLY big deal in my family. For as long as I can remember, my mom has made it a point to go all out, whether it was a ninja turtles themed card, or bringing a Santa into the mix, each year she always managed to top the year before. I’d have to say though that our card this year might be my favorite. It turned out beautifully — just SO glam! Plus, Mason is in it, which makes it even more special.” Okay, we’ve finally decided how we feel about this: we’re on board! Leave the dumpy sweaters and reindeer antlers for the commoners. This year, the Kardashians are bringing a big Crock-Pot full of fierce to the holiday potluck, and there’s plenty to go around! [Photo: Khloe Kardashian's Blog]
Sometimes the universe comes together for one beautiful moment and you can catch a glimpse of the true order of things. Like whenKourtney KardashianÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s boyfriend Scott Disick comes out with a line of boner pills.Ã‚Â For us, reading that sentence like watching a plastic bag float in a breeze; suddenly we realize that life makes sense after all.
Last night, Kourt and sister Kim Kardashian attended the launch of what we’re sure is the culmination of Scott’s dream since he was a wee lad: selling his own line of male performance enhancing drugs.Ã‚Â We canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t say we’re surprised by this turn of events. Given that Scott’s one claim to fame is being Kourtney’s baby dady (well, and generally being horrible), he’s pretty much only known for his male performance. Why not ride that wave?
The kick-off party took place at the Chelsea Room under the Hotel Chelsea in New York, which sounds way too classy to be hosting this kind of event. Said a source in attendance, “You could tell Kourtney was there for her guy,” rather than being there for, say, Khloe. Disick’s new brand of happy pills are named Amidren: High-T, a meaningless yet macho title guaranteed to get him a product tie-in with the men of Jersey Shore in 10…9…8… Ah, we can hear the radio ads now: with a name like Disick, it has to be good!