Sequels

by (@hallekiefer)

Charlie Sheen In Talks for Scream 5 Role

Now that he’s made nice with his Two And A Half Men replacement at the Emmys and settled up on his Warner Bros. law suit, Charlie Sheen’s cameo in Scream 5 seems like the perfect way to tell the world that he’s ready to return to feature films, even if those films involve him getting murdered in the spookiest, raunchiest ways possible. Hole in the side of the bathroom stall, anyone?

According to EW, Sheen is in talks to cameo in the fifth installment of the horror movie spoof series. Dimension, the studio behind the film, isn’t sure “if it’s going to be possible” to snag Sheen, though he did guest star in Scary Movie 3 and 4. It seems fitting that Charlie should show back up again, though…his character did already die a Viagra-related death. Maybe it’s better to go out on top.

 

by (@hallekiefer)

Downey Jr. In Drag = We Will Be Seeing Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows

We’re already a sucker for anything involving smoking jackets, petticoats and pewter chalices, but combine it with good ol’ fashioned cross-dressing? You have yourself the holiday hit of the year right there. The Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows trailer promises all the karate chops and dry banter present in the first Sherlock Holmes film staring Robert Down Jr. and Jude Law, but just in case the American public wasn’t sold on the bad-assery inherent in an old-timey British detective series, the upcoming sequel also includes The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo‘s Noomi Rapace, a showdown with Holmes’ archnemisis Dr. Moriarty (we remember our Wishbone episodes), and what appears to be a slow-motion trains-plosion. We also suspect Downey in drag is a sly blue-eye-shadow-encrusted wink the Sherlock Holmes gay rumors swirling around the previous film. Elementary, my dear diva!

by (@hallekiefer)

Johnny Depp In Talks For More Money…We Mean, For Pirates 5

The world wants Johnny Depp to have more money than the GDP of Norway, and they will not stop seeing pirate movies until he does! Johnny Depp’s fifth Pirates sequel is in the works, and the star is allegedly already in talks over how many millions of dollars he needs to maintain his greasy fedora collection…oh no, sorry, that is to say, how a fifth film will fit into the greater artistic vision of the series. It’s no wonder Disney is antsy to churn out another nautical hit;  Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides has made $1 billion world-wide since it’s release on May 20. That’s society’s one universal truth: everyone on the planet loves men in eyeliner. It’s just an amazing look!

Insiders say producer Jerry Bruckheimer is currently working with screenwriters to finalize the screenplay to Depp’s liking, an important step considering Depp didn’t understand Pirates 2 and 3. Johnny is already signed on to play Tonto in the upcoming Lone Ranger film, but afterward we’re sure he’ll be wrestling with a giant squid again soon. At least, that’s what will happen if they would just a minute and read our Pirates screenplay.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Green Lantern Sequel On The Way, Whether We Want One Or Not

Apologies to the one(s) of Green Lantern fans who might have seen the movie, but the announcement of a Green Lantern sequel seems like the opposite of what America wants, i.e. for someone to remind them of who or what the Green Lantern is again. The Hollywood Reporter claims that, while Warner Bros. was “somewhat disappointed” with the $89.3 million the movie has pulled in since it’s release, the studio reportedly still “believes in the franchise.” While that amount seems like it would be enough to keep Peter Sarsgaard in giant prosthetic foreheads for another go around, apparently the movie made drastically less money their second weekend at the box office.

Critics doubted a Green Lantern sequel was in the works, suggesting that Ryan Reynolds might be better suited for comedies like the upcoming The Change-Up with Jason Bateman and, we’re assuming, Van Wilder 3: Tokyo Drift. Maybe it’s just us, but we blame that red alien guy with the magician beard from the trailer. Nothing good could come from a movie featuring him.

by (@hallekiefer)

Steven Spielberg Brainstorms Jurassic Park 4

It’s been ten years since Jurassic Park III hit theaters, which means the film series is about, oh, seven years overdo for a reboot. The Hollywood Reporter claims that Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park 4 might be on it’s way sooner rather than later; the director has been meeting with screenwriter Mark Protosevich about how they could potentially make more millions of dollars….we mean, how they can figure out a great new plot for a possible fourth movie!

Given that Spielberg was the director for the first two film and executive produced the last, we assume any subsequent movie would be more of a sequel than a total overhaul. Don’t remember how the series left off? Let’s just say the last movie involved para-sailing, giant piles of dinosaur doots and phone calls coming from inside a dinosaur’s stomach. Really. To quote Dr. Ian Malcolm in Jeff Goldblum‘s finest role, it looks like somebody got so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

by (@hallekiefer)

Mark Wahlberg Pushes For The Fighter 2: More Fighter-ing

So we heard a rumor about Mark Wahlberg’s The Fighter sequel? What’s that all about? While at the Spike TV Guys Choice Awards, Wahlberg promised a sequel to the film that his co-star Melissa Leo an Oscar, not that he plans to go crazy with it or anything. “We left out the Arturo Gatti fights for a reason,” the actor said, referencing specific bouts fought by Micky Ward,the boxer who inspired the film. “‘Cause that’s for Fighter 2. We’re not gonna do Fighter 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8, but we’re gonna do 2. We’re gonna do the Ward/Gatti trilogy.” Considering that Wahlberg just shoot Ted with Mila Kunis, is cast in the upcoming The Silver Linings Playbook and is rumored for a Billy Jack remake, even one sequel might be difficult to squeeze in. Everyone in Hollywood, let’s just keep him busy enough so he can’t make eight. Oh, and if you could, say hi to your mother for him, okay?

by (@hallekiefer)

Shia LaBeouf Pretty Sure There’s Another Indiana Jones In His Future

You might have thought the glass-skulled alien shenanigans of the last movie would have put the kibosh on any more sequels, but Shia LaBeouf’s Indiana Jones comments are correct, we’re going to see a lot more refrigerators survive a lot more nuclear explosions in the near future. “I talked to Harrison [Ford], he said he’s staying in the gym, he said he’s heard no word, but he does know that George [Lucas] is out there looking for a MacGuffin,” the Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon star claimed. For those who aren’t sure, a MacGuffin is a central plot point that drives a movie, not a crime-fighting dog as we might have previously claimed. Actually, at this point we wouldn’t be surprised if that ended up being Indy’s new sidekick in the next film.

Said Shia about original action hero Ford, “He said he’s staying in the gym, so it means, you know, it’s not so far off.” Call us cynical, but we’re guessing Harrison should just go ahead and put a down payment on the gym, because he’s going to be there awhile. In fact, go ahead and tell his grandbabies to send his birthday cards there.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

The Hunger Games Now A Quadrilogy

Not so fast, Katniss. Looks like we’re going to need a bigger film franchise. As of today The Hunger Games filmmakers are pulling a Harry Potter and separating The Hunger Games into four movies, despite the fact that the movies are already based on a trilogy of books and, you know, no one has actually seen the first one to determine if the public even wants the first three. Considering The Hunger Games production photos confirm that the filming of the first movie is already well underway, it’s likely that either the second book Catching Fire or final edition Mockingjay will have to be teased out into two films. After an alleged meeting between studio executives this morning, Lionsgate confirmed the four-picture deal, acknowledging that “we have a deal that encompasses 4 movies” but declined to comment further. We love a cliff-hanger as much as the next person, but this decision begs the question: where will the third movie end and the fourth movie begin? Which movie do you think would be the perfect place to leave the audience writhing in complete agony until the final film?

by (@hallekiefer)

Hangover Trilogy Is Ours If We Want It, Says Director Todd Phillips

In case you were already worried about not getting enough face tattoos, satchels and strip club machine-gun fire in your life after The Hangover Part II leaves theaters, director Todd PhillipsHangover trilogy can be yours soon enough…provided the rest of America gets onboard. “It’s something that I would do in a heart beat because I love working with these guys so much,” Phillips said, confirming that he’s already been thinking about making a third Hangover. “We’ll see how the audience feels and how the actors feel, of course, it’s up to them, but if the desire is there, I have a really good idea for it where we really depart from this blue print of our first movie and really end it. I mean obviously it was conceived as a trilogy, so it would be nice to do it.” Ten thousand dollars says they lose Ed Helms‘ baby in the third movie. Just reading that sentence is as good as a handshake to us.

That being said, if Hangover Part III is in our nation’s destiny, the cast is going to have to work to make a movie dirtier than the upcoming sequel, out May 26. “Ken Jeong, Chow, gets naked a lot!” Bradley Cooper raves. “On his own accord by the way, none of that was ever in the script.” Jeong admits that he felt the need to one-up his naked trunk escape from the original film, explaining. “We just gotta keep swinging for the fences… the only thing offensive about anything in The Hangover would be if we did not swing for the fences and go for it, because, for me, to do anything mild would be offensive.” Sounds like Hangover III would have to be rated NC-17. Just how we like our comedies.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

He’ll Be Back…Several More Times: New Terminator Sequels On The Way

Remember how the tagline for the original Terminator movie was “The thing that won’t die, in the nightmare that won’t end”? Kind of ironic, huh? Deadline reports that Arnold Schwarzenegger-lead Terminator sequels might be on the way unless John Connor can do something…oh wait, we mean if any studios take interest in the rights package Arnold’s agency sent out yesterday. Fast Five director Justin Lin is rumored to direct, guaranteeing the number of explosions per second will almost be high enough to distract from us the question, “Why would Skynet make a cyborg that looks 63?”

After leaving office in January, Schwarzenegger has burst out of the gate with his new superhero The Governator and a related animate series. We support anything that draws from Arnold’s iconic roles (we wouldn’t kick a True Lies sequel out of bed), but when it comes to his man-machine, Terminator: Resurrection put the steel nail in the time-traveling coffin on that one. It’s a bad day when the idea of Arnold Schwarzenegger as President of the European Union seems less awful, but seriously, did you see Terminator: Resurrection? Don’t look at us, Arnold. Blame McG.