In a shockingly uncharacteristic move, Tila Tequila is actively trying to stop us from seeing her naked! Has the whole world gone topsy-turvy? Cats and dogs, living together…mass hysteria! Standing up against untrue rumors that she has signed on to star in an upcoming porno, Tila’s caps lock key was left a smoking nub as she penned a furious rant against the person responsible for the lies, proclaiming “I finally got online and saw that there are FALSE RUMORS that I made a deal for a SEX TAPE! Which is BULL***T!!”
First of all, what kind of idiot tries to spread sex tape rumors about someone who 1) clearly has a Master’s degree in marketing her own nakedness and 2) uses Twitter to spill personal secrets like most people inhale air to get oxygen? If Tila had porn coming out, we would have read it on a billboard by now. From the sounds of Tequila’s post however, this unnamed perpetrator is much more than a creep. Writes Tila, “Time will tell itself once the news comes out of the VIOLENT things you did to me, that scared the s**t out of me until I kept my mouth shut about it.”
We hope Lady T is able clear things up and hang this guy out to dry for slandering her name. Because if anyone is going to spread false rumors about Tila Tequila, it’s going to be Tila, goddamn it!
Oh, for the love of all that’s holy. These Real Housewives Of New Jersey are getting more and more ridiculous every day, what with their bankruptcy, head-wraps, homophobic slurs, and now, a sex tape. Reviled housewife Danielle Staub’s sex tape is all set to be released by Hustler next week and it clocks in at what are sure to be the 75 longest minutes of all of our lives. (Not that we plan to watch! Gross!)
TMZ has obtained stills from the tape which feature a very naked Staub filming her anonymous sex partner and showing off her own gravity-defying assets. (Is it just us, or does Staub bear a striking resemblance to Vanessa, Ariel’s evil rival in The Little Mermaid? Is that a weird connection to make after seeing a woman’s boobs?)
Oh, sex tapes. Why are you so prevalent these days? You used to sabotage careers if anyone was caught with one, now you’re no one if you don’t have one. And while they’re often indiscretions that could mean embarrassment if and when you have kids, in Staub’s case, she already has two kids. Forgive us if we’re being prudes but if there’s one phrase that should never be uttered, it’s “my mom’s sex tape”.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Some of you may think you’ve seen enough of Kendra Wilkinson, but enough fans have pre-ordered her upcoming sex-tape Kendra Exposed (filmed when she was 18 and featuring hardcore lesbian and straight sex) the movie is being released tomorrow—a full week ahead of schedule. “Kendra has a huge fan base, and we’ve been literally besieged with requests to release this movie sooner rather than later,” said literal Vivid exec Steven Hirsch. While Kendra originally fought the release of her sex tape, the Girls Next Door has apparently been bought off with $680,000 and up to 50 percent of the tape’s profits. With Vivid hoping Exposed may even outsell Kim Kardashian‘s sex tape, Kendra can wipe her face clean with twenties if she wanted (and we’re talking about her tears, creep).
While a sex tape certainly won’t hurt the career of a Playmate/reality star, it may make things a little awkward with the in-laws. Life & Style, who said Kendra wants to save her marriage with another baby last week, says she had a hard time dealing with hubby Hank Baskett‘s parents at a charity event this weekend, mostly hiding in her room and drinking wine when she was in public. “Hank’s dad kept rubbing Kendra’s back and calling her sweetie,” says the source, suggesting there might not be any drama at all. After all, it’s hard to believe they haven’t made peace with Kendra’s sordid past by now—you really shouldn’t be hooking up with Playmates if you’re not ready for a revelation like this.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Is it possible that behind that blonde hair, big boobs, and dolphin-mating-call of a laugh, there lies a shrewd business woman? Very possibly yes. Kendra Wilkinson has been fighting off sex tape rumors this week, but Radar reports today that she didn’t make one tape, she made several and was hoping to sell them herself.
The site claims that Kendra created a company called Home Run Productions LLC in 2008 when she was wrapping up her stint on The Girls Next Door, with the sole purpose of licensing and distributing her “intimate situations.” Legal documents regarding the formation of the company mention the words “the tapes” in reference to the materials Kendra hoped to sell, which certainly sounds like more than one to us. Now that she’s married with a baby, maybe Kendra had a change of heart about wanting her Girl Downstairs showcased for all the workd to see. Unfortunately, Steven Hirsch, president of the Vivid Entertainment, the tape’s distributor, said earlier this week “After consulting with our attorneys, we are confident in our right to distribute it.” Not to worry though, even if the tapes do get released, it’s not like her image will change all that much, will it?
[Photo: Getty Images}
Nobody exposes Kendra Wilkinson but Kendra! The Girls Next Door star is fighting to keep Vivid Entertainment from releasing Kendra Exposed, a sex tape she recorded before moving to the Playboy Mansion. “The video is private and highly confidential taken for private use and not for public disclosure,” her lawyers said in a letter to the company. “Any exploitation of the video would be a gross violation of Miss Wilkinson’s constitutional and common law rights of privacy.” But, so far, the company isn’t budging from their end-of-month release date.
“We know that Kendra has millions of fans and we feel that it’s rare to find well-produced, hardcore footage of a star of her magnitude,” said Vivid founder Steven Hirsch in a statement. “The tape was brought to us by a third party and after consulting with our attorneys, we are confident in our right to distribute it.” Hopefully their lawyers have made dated its recording, too—Kendra was only 19 when she first met Hef in 2004.
[Photo: Getty Images]
In a move that could be viewed as yet another plea for Sandra Bullock‘s forgiveness (or at least a less scathing divorce), Jesse James has also come forward to deny the existence of a sex tape between the two of them. Actually, he denied the existence of sex tapes, plural, because in his case, the rumors were a-flyin’ that he had made several with different women.
Jesse released a statement to People saying “The claims of sex tapes are untrue and completely fabricated.” We’re glad that at least Jesse, despite all his terrible decisions over the past few months, is able to say that – of course he was still stupid enough to send texts to his various Nazi mistresses, so he’s not completely devoid of an (electronic) paper trail. Even the source of the rumor, “journalist” Ian Halperin, has started to doubt his sources who told him about the tapes and hilariously, he says that his search for the truth in this matter stems from his being the son of a Holocaust survivor. Right. Because reporting on a celebrity couple’s possible Dirty Sanchez will certainly add integrity and honor to your resume.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Sandra Bullock fans can relax now – the actress has broken her silence and quashed allegations that a sex tape with Jesse James will be made public because, she explains, no such tape exists. Put simply to People, Bullock said “There is no sex tape. There never has been one and there never will be one.”
We’re taking that in several ways: first, and most obviously, as a denial that she voluntarily participated in the making of a tape (which we’re inclined to believe because, uh, she’s Sandra Bullock), but also as an admission that James is never going to get a piece of that sweet action ever again. Let the divorce proceedings begin! Sandra was probably inclined to finally break her silence on the matter after hearing what the details of said sex tape included. You know, the poop and whatnot. We certainly don’t blame her.
Remember when the most scandalous thing about these two was when James’ dog Cinnabun used to run away all the time? Sigh. Now we fear that “a Cinnabun” is probably a sex act between James and his various mistresses involving Nazi turds smeared on a motorcycle. [Photo: Splash News Online]
When we first came across the Sandra Bullock sex tape story yesterday we laughed because it was so insane. But people keep writing about it and since we are sheep we’ll jump on board, because it’s truly the greatest fake story of all time. The rumor can be traced back to one person, Ian Halperin, who has recently written tell-all books on Angelina Jolie and Michael Jackson. While he did predict Jackson’s death (but who didn’t, honestly) the guy is mostly known for offering up a lot of salacious, unsubstantiated rumors about celebs.
Fast forward to Halperin’s recent blog post dishing on this alleged Sandra Bullock-Jesse James sex tape. He writes on his website IanUndercover.com, “IUC confirmed late last night that Jesse James has the goods on his wife. It includes James smearing feces on Bullock’s upper lip during various types of anal sex, lots of profanity hurled from both parties, and a leather clad James, sporting a Hitler moustache with brown hat with a swastika, ramming a handcuffed Bullock’s asshole with a shotgun in his left hand. This in from a close friend of the couple who has been in contact with both parties.”
According to this guy, America’s sweetheart is covered in sh*t. We could probably buy one of the tidbits list above, but the combination of the crap stache with Nazi roleplay and shotgun butt-sex just makes this one too insane to even pretend to believe. Not to be undone by himself, Halperin also claims that Sandra is allegedly “terrified” of Jesse and fearing for her life, that Jesse is guarding this tape to use in their divorce proceedings and most disturbingly, “Jesse often gets an erection by reading women Nazi literature.”
In other news we don’t believe, Jesse James’ lawyer claims that his client loves Sandy “more than anything in his life.”
Hey, remember when Sandra Bullock won an Oscar a few weeks ago? That was cool, right?
Celebrity Rehab star and troubled country singer Mindy McCready has mailed a cease-and-desist letter to Vivid Entertainment over their plans to release Mindy McCready: Baseball Mistress, a sex tape the company purchased from a “third party.” The trailer on Spike finds McCready dishing dirt on ex-lovers like Dean Cain, Roger Clemens and Alan Jackson (who earns a major eye roll) in between bouts of hardcore sex with an ex-boyfriend named “Peter.”
McCready, whose ’90s country success has been overshadowed in recent years by drug problems and the revelation of a decade-long affair with basbeball great Clemens, demands Vivid either provide “proof of their authority to release tape” or destroy all copies that aren’t returned immediately to her. The company has yet to comment, and is presumably still planning to release the tape April 19th. See photos in the gallery below.
[Photo: Getty Images/Vivid]
Imagine that, America! We could have elected John Edwards as president and ushered the first sex tape into the White House, but instead you had to go and vote for a wholesome dude who made us all cry with his inspiring message of hope and change. Way to go, jerks. Edwards is continuing his downward spiral from A-List politician to future reality show contestant with the latest news that he not only knocked up his wackadoo mistress Rielle Hunter, but that the pair made a sex tape during one of their many bone sessions. Shall we hold your hair while you puke at the thought of it all?
According to Gawker, Edwards’ former aide/devotee Andrew Young found an unmarked DVD containing the raunch-fest, and it was apparently the beginning of the end for Edwards loyalists. Young is set to reveal all in a “20/20″ interview that airs this Friday. We may never see the tape, but we sure can dream of it, and the many “sex acts” it contains. Yep, sources say that Edwards really shows off not just his skills in the bedroom, but his junk as well. Reports Gawker and their source, “Edwards ‘is physically very striking, in a certain area. Everyone who sees it says ‘whoa’.'”
Yes, it seems Joey Lawrence is one of the lucky ones who has seen the video. We imagine Elizabeth Edwards’ response will be a wee bit more expletive-filled, doncha think? [Photo: GettyImages]