When we heard that Kristen Wiig retired two of her SNL characters, we had the same heart palpitations you’re having right now. We just want to reassure you: it is not Dooneese. We could watch that tiny-hand, giant-forehead wonder in ever sketch from now until the earth runs out of electricity to power our space houses. In an interview with Time, the Bridesmaids star confirms that we have seen the last of Gilly the mischievously homicidal school girl and Penelope the perpetual braggart. Though can it really be considered bragging if she actually is best friends with Liza Minnelli and a tomato? Wiig elected to retire the characters before they got too stale, and refuses to bring them back even at producer Lorne Michaels‘ request. We’re sad to see them go, especially since we didn’t think they were played out. Men, if Bill Hader retires Stefon at any foreseeable point in the future, we will hurl our hologram TVs through our moon windows.
No one wants to hear that one of their comedy idols was secretly (or not so secretly) a total knob. Unfortunately, if Jane Curtin’s John Belushi comments on Oprah are accurate, the famous Blues Brothers star was anything but pleasant to work with…at least if you had two X chromosomes. “They were working against John, who said women are just fundamentally not funny,” Curtin, a member of the original SNL cast in 1975, said of the staff’s female writers. “If a woman writer had written a piece for John, he would not read it in his full voice. He would whisper it. He felt as though it was his duty to sabotage the women writers.”
However, not all of Curtin’s late-night compatriots were quick to agree with her during yesterday’s SNL reunion episode.”I don’t remember that,” said Chevy Chase, also a member of the original cast, while Dana Carvey joked, “Well, he’s got a point of view.” Finally Tracy Morgan leaped in to say, “Tina Fey put me on,” seemingly to point how far things have come in the past three decades. Tina Fey‘s interview with Oprah about her days at the legendary late night show, as well as her new book Bossypants, would seem to suggest that he’s right. He’d better be, or we’ll never be able to watch Animal House without weeping again. This time, it won’t be from hysterical laughter.
The more we find out about Jennifer Aniston‘s life, the more we seethe with envy that it’s not ours (the “no mans” thing aside). For example, reportedly Jennifer Aniston turned down SNL to take Friends. Out of the diamond frying pan, into the platinum fire! Aniston refused the late-night gig for being too much of “a boys club,” opting instead to take a role in a little unknown show that would eventually pay her $1 million an episode. Despite Jen’s confidence in her decision, the SNL cast didn’t exactly see it the same way. “She said no? She’s gonna do that Friends? What the hell is Friends?” her Just Go With It co-star Adam Sandler recalls. “They were like, ‘You’re so stupid.’ They thought I was making a huge mistake,” Jen says, which is hilarious to hear, knowing that now Aniston could take her morning laps in a swimming pool filled with gold doubloons, if she wanted to.
As if insane career success wasn’t enough, apparently both Matthew Perry and Jon Stewart tried to date Jennifer Aniston. High-school us would have had an aneurysm if she found that out. “I remember way back when, you asked me if I could potentially set you up with Jennifer Aniston,” Perry teased Stewart on The Daily Show. “Which I thought it was funny because I couldn’t even get a date with Jennifer Aniston.” Do you think Jen can’t keep a man because they refuse to sleep on the pile of Emmys and hundred dollar bills she has stacked on her bed? What other reason could there possibly be?
[Photo: Getty Images]
With only a month left before the new season starts, three new Saturday Night Live cast members are confirmed to join the show in the fall. Squee! New late night friends! News of Will Forte’s departure from SNL last week also brought with it rumors of the multiple new hires, gossip which is now proving to be true.
The new faces include Chicago improv and sketch comedians Paul Brittain and Vanessa Bayer, as well actor Taran Killam, a formerÃ‚Â MADtv cast member and most well known as the reoccurring character Ã¢â‚¬Å“BlaumanÃ¢â‚¬Â on How I Met Your Mother. We’re pumped to see what the new performers will bring to the table in September, although it would have been nice to have someone to replace Fred Armisen as Barack Obama. Anyone, really, would have been nice to replace Fred Armisen as Barack Obama, is what we’re trying to say.
Even more intriguing then the addition of three new performers is the accompanying suggestion that producer Lorne Michaels might be giving some current SNL cast members the ol’ heave-ho. As of today, Weekend Update anchor Seth Meyers, Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis and Kenan Thompson have yet to indicate if they were re-hired, which could mean a big shake-up is in store, as well as a hysterical tear-filled farewell to any future Samberg-Timberlake comedic gems. We hope the noobs are only an expansion, not a replacement, for the current cast. Because we will be damned if we’ll give up Ã¢â‚¬Å“WhatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Up With That?Ã¢â‚¬Â without a fight.
Despite what you might have heard from blabbermouth Jason Sudeikis, January Jones insists that the SNL comedian has never seen her in her birthday suit. And he might have just blown his chance forever! Replied Jones to Jason’s claim on Lopez Tonight that he’s seen her in the all-together: “He’s never seen me naked, nor will he after those comments”. Ouch, that’s a burn right there! Seriously though, Sudeikis needs to not get it twisted. If you are courting one of the hottest women on TV/America/the surface of the planet, you probably shouldn’t giggle like a seventh-grade boy with George Lopez about seeing her naked, especially on TV. It’s just a good rule of thumb.
The two are rumored to be dating, but January’s comments make us think their romance might not be all heart-shaped hot tubs and pink champagne like we had hoped. Despite her verbal smack-down, however, the pair was spotted being extremely shmoodley with each other at the Emmys. Other comments also made it seem like January is fine with the nudity gossip, as she maintains, “I think he handled that question very well. He made a joke of it. What was he supposed to say?” Wait, so does that leave the door open for naked adventures in the future? Comedy nerds across the globe, including us, wait in breathless anticipation! At least we can be sure that whatever happens, George Lopez will be the first to know. [Photo: Getty Images]
We guess it’s true what they say: age ain’t nothing but a number. Even if it’s a number that makes you very, very uncomfortable. Less than a week after news of his divorce from Elizabeth Moss hit the internet, SNL‘s Fred Armisen, 43, has moved onÃ¢â‚¬Â¦and into the arms of his 23-year-old coworker. Armisen has recently been spotted around town with fellow SNL performer Abby Elliot, and according to sources, “Fred and Abby are getting to know each other in a romantic way and taking things very slowly but enjoying each other’s company.”
Well, color us flabbergasted. We were amazed enough at Armisen’s marriage to Moss; this relationship grants him official lothario status. He can now join David Spade as a leading member of the National Association of Inexplicably Lucky Men. Abby is also the daughter of actor Chris Elliot, who is only seven years older than Armisen and must feel great about the whole thing.
Reportedly, the two comedians have “known each other for a few years from being on SNL together but after the split, Fred sought comfort in Abby. They just started dating a few months ago.” A few months ago? Yikes, Armisen does not let grass grow under his feet, does he? ThereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s even gossip that Fred and Abby were spotted smooching during the most romantic movie imaginable, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work, at the Landmark Theater in New York. All we have to say is, Armisen must have the best personality on the face of the planet. Oh, who are we kidding? Even that wouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t explain it. We suspect the dark arts.
Just 10 months into their marriage Mad Men star Elisabeth Moss and SNL performer Fred Armisen are getting ready to throw in the towel.Ã‚Â In a development that shocked only Moss and Armisen’s grandmas, the couple apparently separated this spring, less than a year after they took vows in New York. While we wished both of them the best at the time, we would be lying if we didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t say some small part of us was thinking, “Him? Her? Huh?”. A gorgeous young actress on a hit tv drama and a forty-something comedian whose characters can be collectively described as “unsettling” didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t immediately scream soul mates to us. According to sources,“Fred and Elisabeth separated in May. Fred is currently in Portland, Ore. on the set of his new series Portlandia. Elisabeth is in LA focusing on her career and spending quiet time with friends.” We wonder if the fifteen-year age difference was a big factor, given that Armisen is 43 and Moss only 28. Though of course, just look at Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas. Those two are making it work. Or was it because Moss is a practicing Scientologist, and Armisen (as far as we can tell) is not? After all, just look at Tom Cruise and KaÃ¢â‚¬Â¦actually, no, donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t look at them. Please, do not look at them. We guess this explains why last year Elisabeth told reporters, “We just don’t disagree on anything. ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s weird.” They didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t disagree because they didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t actually talk; Armisen just sat there with his mouth open, unable to believe his luck, while Moss audited her engrams and tried to get into Operating Thetan Level III. Marriage: it sure is a lot of work!