Splits

by (@hallekiefer)

On the Downside, Jennifer Lawrence And Nicholas Hoult Split Up. This Is Also The Upside.

NOOOOOOOO! But also, ooooooooo! We’ve had a couple crush on Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult ever since the Catching Fire star gave an amazing Elle quote about her mans back in November: [My boyfriend] is honestly my best friend, and hopefully I’m his best friend too. He’s my favorite person to be around and makes me laugh harder than anybody.” Awww! So you can understand why half of us is super bummed that Us Weekly claims they’ve split. The other half, however, recognizes the fact that they are now both single, which means we have potentially two new celeb couples to squee over. Haha, it’s just math! Delicious, sex math!

Us Weekly reported earlier today that the two have ended their two-year relationship. There are virtually no deets as to why they parted ways, other than the vague claim the two “grew apart,” which makes us believe Jennifer and Nicholas are both being as classy as we would have expected about the whole thing. The more we think about it, however, the less we understand. If we met someone who loved Honey Boo Boo, cheese steaks and old strippers as much as we do, why, we’d never let er go! On the other hand, to think that Jennifer saw the trailer for Warm Bodies and was apparently able to give up that zombie fineness doesn’t make a lick of sense. The only way we’re going to feel better about this is if you guys take it on yourselves to start dating JLaw and Nicholas. Go! Go now and find them! You didn’t have any weekend plans until the Golden Globes anyway!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Blake Lively And Leo DiCaprio End The Romance They Admit They Were Having

Blake Lively and Leo DiCaprio split recently, says Us Weekly, which means it took the breakup of their relationship to confirm the fact that they were a couple, which we all knew about anyway. A-list couples are confusing! Those heady days of Disneyland visits and trips to Australia are over, however, as Blake and Leo’s five-month-long yacht-based shmoodling tour has come to an end. Fortunately the two reportedly “remain friends,” according to their reps. Since we were all supposed to think they were friends this whole time anyway, why bring it up now just to clarify it? We’re going to need to consult our Celebrity Canoodling spreadsheets to keep make sense of this one. Good thing we hired that intern to work on them. They are very extensive!

The J. Edgar star and Gossip Girl actress reportedly got together back in May following Leo’s break-up with professional babe Bar Rafaeli. Lively broke up with costar Penn Badgley back in October 2010. Now, when Blake and Leo pretend to be friends, they will actually just be pretending to be friends. Either way you slice it, those yacht parties going to be real  awkward for a long, long time.

by (@missmuttoo)

Break-up Alert: Pia Toscano And Mark Ballas Split Up!

They’re done? Already? We first heard of these two getting together in April this year and they seemed to be doing just fine! But just as quickly as they hooked up, American Idol survivor Pia Toscano and Dancing With The Stars dreamboat Mark Ballas are now dunzo. A source told People that the now-off couple had a serious discussion about their relationship and decided that they had higher priorities than love. Careers, man — they tend to win at this stage, don’t they?

The source explained further saying, “They both decided with everything going on that they couldn’t give each other what would be fair. They mutually decided this.” Ah well, five months doesn’t amount to heartbreak normally, but splitting up still sucks. Plus, they were kinda cute together, weren’t they? Hopefully these two will be luckier in their respective careers than they were in love.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Has The Cameron Diaz And A-Rod Fairy Tale Come To An End?

It seems like only yesterday they were hand-feeding each other buttery snacks at the Super Bowl, but new rumors hint at an alleged Cameron Diaz A-Rod break-up. US Weekly cites a source supposedly close to Alex Rodriguez, who claims, “They broke up recently.” But…but who will spot them for their 17 -hours-a-day gym sessions? This is so humiliating!

“She’s very busy with her career,” the same source says about Diaz, adding. “And he’s had injuries and wants to focus on his game. They’re dedicated professionals.” Allegedly Cameron and A-Rod were planning to move in together back in February, but a lot of things can change between two people in a few months. Not the similarity between their insane abs and a sheet of pure steel, but you know, emotional things. Call us skeptical, but Cameron and A-Rod split up back in 2010 only to eventually reunite, so we think this relationship might still be going strong. Not as strong as both of their sinewy forearms, of course, but you see where we’re going with this.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Elisabetta Canalis Opens Up About George Clooney Split

Now that George Clooney and Stacey Keibler are reportedly dating, Clooney’s most recent ex Elisabetta Canalis is taking it upon herself to brush the sadness Cheetos off her loneliness Snuggie and talk to the press about him. “I have always seen cold and controlled men as the right ones for me,” Canalis allegedly told Italian magazine Chi. “You have to accept that Prince Charming who is coming to save you is not going to happen — it works against you.” Plus, to know that from here on out, you’ll always be in some way dating down? It can’t be a pretty prospect.

Despite having split from George pack in June and picked up a spot on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars, Canalis still sounds epically bummed about their break-up.  “At the end of the day I have always seen the end of my relationships as a personal failure. There is nothing ever pretty is saying goodbye,” she says, explaining “I’m a bit of a tomboy, but when it comes to love I am a doormat. I’m looking for men who can give me security.” Truly, how can Elisabetta bear to even look at a man without a yacht now? But seriously, tell us how!

[Photo: AFP]

by (@hallekiefer)

My Chemical Romance Fires Drummer Over Thievery

If anything makes us want to stare out a rain-spattered window with mascara-stained tears running down our cheeks, it’s hearing that My Chemical Romance fired drummer Michael Pedicone. “The relationship between My Chemical Romance and Michael Pedicone is over,” the band’s guitarist Frank Iero posted on their site last Friday. “He was caught red handed stealing from the band and confessed to police after our show last night in Auburn, Washington.” Pedicone has been replaced, at least temporarily, by Jarrod Alexander of Dead Country, who is probably already sick of everyone else’s devastated sighs.

Continued Iero, “The band has no intention of pressing charges or taking this matter any further than we have to. We just want him out of our lives. The people who play in this band are a family, and family should not take advantage of each other like he did.” Michael Pedicone’s Twitter offered a more cryptic explanation, claiming “What happened is more complicated than it sounds but I did make a mistake. It was never my intention to hurt this band or all of you.” Yet another person learns the hard-way never to touch Gerard Way‘s laser-protected Manic Panic stash.

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Did George Clooney’s Marriage-Phobia End Things With Elisabetta Canalis?

While George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis haven’t spoken about their sudden split yet, gossipmongers aren’t afraid to connect the dots. And the picture everyone’s drawing that confirmed bachelor Clooney probably didn’t like what Canalis’ ambitions to marry—someday. “I could never be with someone who every time he opens his mouth says he doesn’t want a child with me or to marry me,” she told an Italian magazine earlier this month, adding. “Who knows what will happen? I am a firm believer in marriage, in the future I will be married, but for the time being I am happy as I am.” Canalis dismissed any idea that Clooney would be anxious, saying “My boyfriend has not given an interview on his private life since 1999—everything that you read is just a rehash of stuff that has been written in the past,” but he actually confirmed his anti-marriage status to Piers Morgan last January (“I was married, so I gave it a shot”). Elisabetta must not have been watching.

As for the timing of the reveal, a source tells E! we should have seen this coming—since Clooney always drops his marriage-hungry lovers right before his annual friends-and-family trip to Lake Como in Italy. “He’s been trying to figure out how to get out of this for a while. Remember that ding-dong Sarah Larson George was dating? Same thing happened. Right before Como, they broke up. I’m telling you, it’s the same thing here.” The new “ding-dong” doesn’t seem to be too upset though, as Canalis and Dwyane Wade were reportedly “extra flirty” the DSquared2 show in Milan Tuesday. Clooney’s friends may claim the language barrier was an issue for him and the Italian model (“She was always shy…unsure of herself”), but an NBA star might be willing to ignore it…at least long enough for her to rebound.

[Photo: AFP]

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George Clooney And Elisabetta Canalis Break Up?

Can any woman lock this man down? Elisabetta Canalis and George Clooney have split up according to a statement received by Italian site TG24. “”We’re not together anymore,” reads the note. “It’s very difficult and very personal, so we hope that our privacy is respected.” Italian model/TV host Canalis began dating Clooney in the fall of 2009, with the pair hitting European premieres for his Fantastic Mr. Fox, Up In The Air and The Men Who Stared At Goats all in one busy, glamorous week. Though rumors of a split came in April 2010, the pair were spotted holding hands just days later.

No details have been given for the split (they were spotted together in Italy less than a week ago), though there’s plenty of potential sticking points for rubberneckers to consider. Clooney’s confirmed bachelorhood was one obvious tangle: even if Canalis doesn’t want children (“My maternal desires are fully satisfied with my dogs,” she’s said), her man’s rumored roving eye couldn’t have been easy to put up with. Plus, as Brangelina could tell you, kids make it easier for international celebs to stay in touch. Without some fashionable orphans to raise, what’s to keep either calling regularly when George is off making movies and Elisabetta is posing in bikinis on a yacht? Look on the bright side, guys—there are undoubtedly plenty of other rich, attractive fish in the sea who’d be happy to dry your tears. For instance, Paris Hilton is single! We’re sure she’d take your call, George.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Paris Hilton Confirms Split With Cy Waits

Oh no! The rumors that Paris Hilton & Cy Waits have split are apparently true, with Paris confirming the break-up on Lopez Tonight. “We’re not together anymore. I love him and we remain really good friends,” she told the host. “I feel like the relationship ran its course and we’ll see what happens.” Ironically, both were denying such claims a week ago with Cy claiming he “loved her more than ever” despite word that he was bothered by the portrayal of their relationship on The World According To Paris.

A rep told People, “I can confirm that Paris Hilton and Cy Waits have ended their relationship. It was a joint and amicable decision. They both have respect and care for one another and ask for you to please respect their privacy.” An ironic statement, considering Paris has a reality show about her private life that also features Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife Brooke Mueller having regular meltdowns. We’ll have to see if Paris actually makes any effort to keep this matter out of the papers—or tries to boost the show’s sagging ratings with a dramatic finale.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Crystal Harris Explains Split With Hugh Hefner, Blames His “Playboy Lifestyle”

If you’re skeptical about the motives of a former Playmate who skipped out on marrying Hugh Hefner at the last minute because she realized his “Playboy lifestyle” was not for her…we’re not going to stop you. Runaway bride Crystal Harris tried to explain why she left Hef at the altar on Ryan Seacrest‘s radio show this morning and, well, try to give the benefit of the doubt.”Hef’s lifestyle isn’t the most normal lifestyle,” said the 85-year-old’s girlfriend of almost two and a half years. “This isn’t the lifestyle for me, multiple girls around all the time, the Playboy lifestyle. I don’t know. I just wanted to be true to myself…I’ve been having second thoughts about everything. It all happened so fast, and they were going to air a show on it. It was all happening too fast for me.” The aforementioned show, scheduled to air on Lifetime, has now been canceled.

While Harris says Hef was agreeable to her departure (“He said he was just doing this wedding for me,” she told Seacrest. “He thought that’s what I wanted. And we were both kind of relieved”), the octogenarian has got in at least one barb to his ex, retweeting a fan’s observation that Harris released her single on the same day she left him. Aside from the expense of canceling the marriage, there’s also the issue of Crystal being listed as “Mrs. Crystal Hefner” on the cover of this month’s Playboy. It’s almost enough to make you sorry for an aging multi-millionaire who surrounds himself with young, surgically enhanced women and sells naked photos of them. Almost.

[Photo: Playboy/Getty Images]