Every once in a while we remember that Magic Mike is based on Channing Tatum‘s actual experience as a male stripper, and we weep bitterly that we didn’t live in Florida in the early ’00s. Why were we wasting our time earning a high school diploma? The only thing that makes it possible for us to go on is the realization that Channing Tatum’s real-life stripping game was…well, pretty weak compared to his new movie moves. To wit, take a gander at the the vintage “YMCA” performance and ethnically insensitive thong-and-spear Tarzan dance TMZ unearthed today. The enthusiasm is there, but just not the moves, thought we’d really have to see Channing’s butt to make a fair judgment. WE SAID WE HAVE TO SEE HIS BUTT; WHY ARE YOU ARGUING WITH US? At least Tatum’s grass skirt doesn’t make us want to die, unlike his hyper-bagging pseudo-Backstreet Boys steez in that other vintage Channing Tatum striptease video Us Weekly turned up:
Despite what you might have thought, Channing Tatum is good at more than having a chiseled jaw and staring off into the middle distance. He can also work it like a 9-to-5, which he did on the set of his upcoming stripper film Magic Mike, much to the amazement of his colleagues. “Oh, Channing, by far. He’s like on another level. Obviously, he’s got more experience,” Tatum’s co-star Joe Manganiello told New York when asked which Magic actor had the best moves. As for his own booty-popping skills, the True Blood actor admitted, “I wouldn’t call myself a professional dancer, but I will say that when I got back to my trailer and shook my clothes off, there were some one-dollar bills that fell out.” We can only assume Channing taught Joe everything he knows. He was probably the greased-up sexy Yoda to Manganiello’s spastically gyrating Luke Skywalker.
Also willing to throw down for Tatum’s sexy dancing skills is his wife of two years, actress Jenna Dewan. “I didn’t show him any routines, but I would definitely watch his and give my critiques and suggestions,” The Playboy Club actress said of her man’s abilities. Jenna added, “He’s amazing. He’s a great stripper! I should ask for more [private dances].” If the Academy really wants to draw in young viewers to the Oscars, they know what new category they need to add next year. And who would win it.
Based on her previous stripper-themed film I Know Who Killed Me, we all know Lilo is capable of working the pole so hard, she has to offer it health benefits. Unfortunately, it looks like it came down to Elvis Presley‘s granddaughter Riley Keough and Linday Lohan for a part in the exotic dancing buddy drama Magic Mike, and Lohan is the one who had to relinquish her position on the six-inch-Lucite stilettos we call Fame.
According to a source reporting to E! Online, “Riley was cast as the girl who dates Alex Pettyfer‘s character in the movie. The character is trouble with a capital T, which Lindsay would have been perfect for.” Unfortunately for Lohan, her reputation proceded her, and director Steven Soderbergh took a pass. “He didn’t want to deal with all that. Nobody wanted to go there,” the source explains. The movie also stars Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey, Matt Bomer and Joe Manganiello, information that makes us feel a profound sadness for Lindsay in a way we never have before.
Considering how many times the man has taken his shirt off for a gratuitous torso shoot during his career (does infinity count as a number?), few people should be surprised by Matthew McConaughey’s ex-stripper role in Magic Mike, the world’s first exotic dancing buddy drama (that we know of). McConaughey has signed on to play former strip artist Dallas who now owns the club where Channing Tatum and I Am Number Four‘s Alex Pettyfer work the pole. Meanwhile, we are already so angry that this film going to be ignored by the Academy.
The film is based on Channing Tatum’s stripper past and will be directed by Oscar-winner Steven Soderbergh for some unknowable reason. The plot of Magic Mike revolves Tatum as he mentors new dancer Pettyfer, though we’re sure McConaughey could stop in to teach a few lessons: The Fine Art Of Ab Waxing, Oils And Lotions 101 and the Causes And Treatment Of Chronic Thong Burn.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Who knew it would be the promise of Channing Tatum‘s thrusting pelvis and meticulous pole work that could keep Traffic director Steven Soderbergh out of retirement? Despite what the directorÃ‚Â of Erin Brockovich claimed earlier this spring, he isn’t going to end his filmmaking career with Liberace with Michael Douglas and Man From U.N.C.L.E. with George Clooney. He instead will be shooting the greatest movie ever made: Channing Tatum’s stripper film.
Deadline is reporting Soderbergh with team up with Tatum for Magic Mike, a story about a stripper who must teach a younger dancer how to succeed on and off the dollar bill-covered stage; the story is based on Tatum’s stripping experience before he broke into acting.Ã‚Â “When Channing talked to me about this, I thought it was one of the best ideas I’d ever heard for a movie. I said I wanted in immediately. It’s sexy, funny and shocking. We’re using Saturday Night Fever as our model, so hopefully we’re on the right track,” the director said in a statement. Tatum is also enthusiastic about the partnership, adding “This was a wild and pivotal time in my life and I couldn’t be more thrilled to go down the rabbit hole with Steven.” Did we mention Soderbergh is an Academy Award winner? We always knew it would take someone with an Oscar to make the all-male version of Showgirls we’ve been dreaming about for years.
We know what you’re thinking. The crazy news isn’t that 98 Degrees’ Jeff Timmons joined Chippendales as a male stripper; the crazy news is that it took him this long. While other alums of the boy band like Nick Lachey have gone onto become engaged to Vanesssa Minnillo, Timmons has quietly continued his music career. Timmons’ new album will drop in 2011, hopefully at the exact same time Jeff will be dropping it like it’s hot in the club.
The former boy band member will slip into the collar and cuffs, and out of everything else, for a four-week stint at the exotic dancing company’s Las Vegas location from May 12 to June 5. Dancing and flexing his abs for a bunch of screaming women shouldn’t be such a new experience for Timmons. Hopefully the chronic pole burn will be.
While she was there to answer questions about her new radio show, Jamie Foxx’s interview with Amber Rose really begs the question: is Amber famous solely for dating Kanye, or was it only a matter of time before the rest of the world found out about the preternaturally gorgeous diva? Claims Rose, “I never wanted to be famous it just happened to me. I literally was with someone that I loved very much and we were out people would say ‘Kanye I love you but can you snap a picture of me and Amber Real quick?’” Even if Kanye did want to start retweeting again, Amber isn’t having it. “No, I don’t think so,” Rose, who is currently dating Wiz Khalifa, said when asked about a possible reunion. “You know in every relationship you have problems and you try to work through and then sometimes things don’t work out. But it was very real for me. I was very much in love.” Oh also, she’s dating Wiz Khalifa now. Sorry Kanye, you’ve been out-awesomed.
In case you were hoping for more Amber in a Kim Kardashian sense of the word, we hate to dash your pervy hopes. “There ain’t gonna be no sex tape, I’m not into that s–t. I’ve been offered a lot of money but I chose not to do it,” Amber asserts. “I chose to take the high road and I feel like just because of my past and my profession and what I did in my past doesn’t mean that I [would do that]. I was a stripper since I was 15-years-old.” We for one would like to thank Kanye for bringing Amber’s built beauty to the rest of our lives, and subsequently the bleached buzz cut into acceptable female hairstyles. If we had any visible cheekbones at all, we’d be rocking it super hard.
We know not all male strippers eventually become super-famous actors, but after hearing about Channing Tatum‘s stripper past, on top of Javier Bardem erotic dancing, we’re starting put the pieces together. When chatting with Access Hollywood, Tatum revealed he used to drop in like it was hot into the laps of central Floridians. “I just heard it on the radio and just went in, that was it,” Channing admits. “You know, 18-years-old in Tampa and you’re broke, you’re pretty much willing to do anything at that time.” A tale as old as printed money. Speaking of which, isn’t it time we finally filmed that all-male Flashdance remake we’ve been shopping around?
As for which songs got his pelvis gyrating, Tatum had his favorites. “Usher or ‘Ride it’ by Pony,” he recalls. Channing eventually abandoned his sexy career for the silver screen, though we think it was the tight-fisted female clientele that eventually changed his mind. “Incredibly cheap. Ya’ll are incredibly cheap when it comes to giving money for sex!,” Channing joked. If we knew what The Dilemma star would end up looking like, we would have jammed $5 bills into his Speedo. Well, no dollar coins at least.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Chris Rock always warned parents to keep their daughters off the pole, but he didn’t mention anything about their sons. We guess now that he has an Oscar nomination under his belt, Javier Bardem can discuss his stripping career. “I did it as a joke, for some friends at first. But a guy in the bar we were in spotted me and hired me for the next day,” Javier admits. Doesn’t this basically imply that Javier was already hanging out in a male strip club, in order for this to happen? No judgments!
While most of us are imagining Penelope Cruz’s baby daddy as a tip-drill of unlimited talent, it turns out Bardem was roughty 10,000 times less sexy than we would have hoped. “I was so bad, I did it to “Leave Your Hat On”, and I had to get my mother and sister to cheer me on,” Bardem admits. Thank god Javier found something he is actually good at; most moms only carry a limited number of bills at a time. Now if he wants to be showered by $20s, he can just hit the ATM and stand in front of a Vornado in the privacy of his own home.
To paraphrase Chris Rock, your only goal as a parent is to keep your daughter off the pole. But if you’re already on the pole, getting your daughter into Esquire and on TV seems pretty good too! As she reveals in the latest issue, Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive Minka Kelly’s mom was a stripper…and the Friday Night Lights actress wouldn’t have it any other way. Says Minka, “She was a stripper. It was all about what we could do to have fun with nothing. She would come home at like three, four o’clock in the morning, and she would wake me up in the middle of the night and we’d go grocery shopping.” And some moms make Rice Krispies treats! People have all different ideas about what’s fun.
“My mom lived a fast life,” Kelly explains, “That was so much fun. We would have a blast and buy a hundred dollars in groceries. It was just the best day ever.” The 30-year-old girlfriend of Derek Jeter also recounts how she almost got free breast implants, but decided at the last minute that, duh, she was already supernaturally attractive. When you basically look like the prettiest cheerleader in school times ten, massive boobs are really just overkill. [Photo: Esquire]