Sacha Baron Cohen vowed to bring his personal brand of evil hilarity to the Oscars tonight after having his Oscar ban lifted, sashaying down the red carpet in character as the madcap despot from his upcoming film The Dictator. Cohen did his best to deliver on his insidious vow, going so far as to dump “Kim Jong Il‘s ashes” on Ryan Seacrest‘s tuxedo on his way into the Kodak Theatre. Unfortunately, the comedian’s promotional prank might have backfired, as everyone and their mother seemed to have greeted his silliness with groans and eye rolls rather than chuckles. And no, they were not groans and eye rolls of hysterical laughter…
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Denzel Washington, you already have two Oscars. What are you doing getting waterboarded for your new movie Safe House? Don’t you know that’s what stunt people are for? “I wanted to see what it would be like,” Denzel told New York mag about consenting to the grueling feat. “It’s strange. You can’t breathe in, because the water comes in, and it’s filling up your mouth. And that was just one time for a short time. Imagine having that done for 20, 30 seconds? You will give up the answers! You may not necessarily tell the truth, but you will tell [your captors] whatever they want to hear.” We want to confess to our captors right now just reading about this, and we aren’t even being waterboarded. Or have captors!
Revealed the film’s director, Daniel Espinosa, “I went up to Denzel and told him, ‘Time to go, now is the moment where the stunt guy kicks in,’ and he looked at me and he said, ‘Let’s go.’ ‘Are you sure?’ ‘I’m sure.’ And I was terrified, but I let him go and I had to watch him do it.” As if having your mouth filled with water while Ryan Reynolds eats snacks at the craft services table wasn’t terrifying enough, it was Terminator 2 star/homicidal cyborg Robert Patrick doing the waterboarding. “Now, some of the guys we got, the Taliban guys, they only hung in there for eighteen seconds,” Patrick explained. “Denzel lasted five; that’s pretty damn good.” Yeah, “good” isn’t exactly the word we would use. “Insane,” maybe? “”Awesome”…definitely.
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Hardcore Hathaway! We couldn’t have been the only ones who were worried that Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman might come across as a little too sweet, a little too friendly in the upcoming Batman movie, especially compared to Tom Hardy’s Bane. We don’t want the girl next door; we want the demon that haunts our dreams! Luckily for all us unbelievers, Anne Hathaway’s The Dark Night Rises role has her getting her violence up, so much so that the actress gave a stuntman a black eye by slamming the butt of a prop gun into his face during a fight scene. “Anne was mortified,” a source claimed, with another insider adding: “It was all in good humor, but the poor guy took quite a pummeling.” Anne then screamed “What!” into the mic, dropped it and headed back to her trailer to take her aggression out on a speed bag.
Even more amazing, and just as terrifying as those Dark Night Rises viral teasers, Hathaway apologized by giving the stunt person an engraved silver pen that read “Remember no one packs a punch like Anne.” Hathaway then burst through his picture window in the middle of the night, screaming like a bat out of hell, because that’s just how she does it now.