Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise were out for dinner at NYC’s Mr. Chow on Saturday night, when they encountered the most awkward of situations, per the New York Post: Three people were seated next to them wearing a “Free Katie” shirt, a “Save Suri” shirt and a Top Gun-era Tom Cruise costume. An onlooker said that Katie didn’t “lose her cool” and the T-shirt wearers covered up their clever slogans before Suri could see.
Let this serve as a warning for all of you clever revelers tomorrow night — and we ourselves are included, as we’ve been fully advocating celebrity costumes since last week — you might want to avoid star-frequented hot spots in L.A. and New York (assuming any are up and running tomorrow), if you plan on spoofing someone famous. Option 2: Embrace the awkwardness, pose for a photo with the celeb in question and SEND IT TO US!
[Photo: Getty Images]
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As we watch Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise and Tom Cruise pick up and continue their lives following the divorce that rocked the celebrity world this summer, we’re still rather curious about what went down between TomKat to inspire such a rapid split. But contrary to early reports that Katie totally took Tom by surprise when she filed for divorce, court papers reportedly obtained by The National Enquirer, via Radar, things were over long before June 28. Their relationship had “broken down irretrievably for a period of at least six months immediately preceding,” the papers say. Or maybe Katie said they had, but Tom was oblivious? Or hopeful that things could work out? Very interesting.
These alleged court documents reveal a couple of other interesting tidbits:
Phone friend: Suri!
Suri Cruise: Oh, hai gurl!
Phone friend: Where you be?
Suri: Mom and I were bored so we just spent a gazillion dollars on Fifth Ave.
Phone friend: Paps?
Suri: You know it.
Phone friend: Outfit?
Suri: Lanvin and Loubs. But I didn’t feel like my heels today.
Phone friend: Hair?
Suri: Ponytail. Low. Pigtails are so kindergarten.
Suri: Mom’s so embarrassing. She’s wearing a poncho. And it’s not even Missoni.
Phone friend: NO!
Suri: Why am I even talking on this phone? Where my new iPhone 5? I’m SIX, people. It’s not like I’m getting any younger.
Phone friend: Nooooo way … you look fantaaastic. SO amazi …
Suri: I’m over this. Later.
[Photos: Splash News Online]
We’re guessing “summer vacation” means something different when mom and dad can whip you off to St. Tropez or Maui any time of year, but it still means something for celebrity kids, judging from the fun pics we’ve seen. School’s out, mom and dad take you to the park, the beach, the yacht, the private jet, and you get to play all you want. For some little ones, like Jessica Simpson’s daughter Maxwell or Hilary Duff’s son Luca, everything about summer must be new and fun, and the paparazzi don’t have anything on mom’s need to capture their every move. Jennifer Hudson’s and Gwen Stefani’s sons had to squeeze their fun in with their parents’ busy work schedules. Kids like Matilda Ledger and Sean Federline got to spend some quality time with their moms’ significant others. And we’re happy to see that even the children of newly split parents, like Suri Cruise, and Heidi Klum and Seal’s brood, were able to enjoy some carefree moments in the sun.
One thing’s for certain: Whatever these famous offspring were doing for the past three months, it was way more fabulous than our own summer pastimes. See for yourself…
[Photos: Splash News Online]
Parenting is hard enough as it is. We can’t imagine how hard it would be to try and raise a kindergartner while getting a divorce…and shooting a movie…and also hearing insane rumors about how Scientologists allegedly sideswiped your ex in a garbage truck. All Katie Holmes divorce drama aside, Tom Cruise looked like any other soon-to-be divorced papa as he ferried Suri around Manhattan today; it’s allegedly the first time he’s seen his daughter since the news of his divorce hit the Interwebs June 29. Tom Cruise’s sister Cass also joined them with an armful of unicorns to add to the cuteness factor. Aunts and stuffed friends: two of a single dad’s greatest weapons in the epic struggle to be a good parent.
Least he be looked down for failing to visit Suri until today, at least Cruise has been able to see his other kids more frequently; teen DJ Connor visited the set of Tom’s action flick Oblivion in Iceland last month, then joined sister Isabella in Mammoth Lakes, California this weekend to spend time with their pop as he was wrapping up filming. If only Suri was old enough to hop on a plane! Or, you know, walk across the street without holding a grown-up’s hand. That would probably make this whole “three kids with two ex-wives” thing a little easier…
[Photo: Getty Images]
As Katie Holmes was taking Suri Cruise home from gymnastics class in Manhattan on Monday night, their Mercedez-Benz limo was sideswiped by a giant recycling truck. Everyone’s OK, and the limo was merely dented on the left rear fender, according to TMZ. But now it’s time for the rumors to fly! Was it really a recycling truck, or was it a truck driven by Scientologists looking to remind Katie that they are still watching her?
OR, we have an entirely new theory, the truck was a Decepticon, sent from its home planet of Cybertron to photograph Katie and Suri, believing them to be the leaders of Earth. An honest mistake, right? (Also, Comic-Con has melted my brain.)
Actually, what scares us most about this whole story is the fact that just before the accident, there were paparazzi taking all sorts of pics of Suri in her gymnastics class. This isn’t the first time, of course, but it’s a big reminder of just how creepy the paps are getting, hiding out to snap little girls in leotards. Katie, we hope this doesn’t deter you from continuing your outings to ice cream parlors and Whole Foods and Chelsea Piers. It’s great to see you two leading normal lives!
[Photos: Splash News Online]
We thought we were nearing the end of our coverage of the super-fast divorce of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, but then we read this interesting tidbit in the Los Angeles Times: Katie reportedly used a disposable cell phone to talk to lawyers when she began planning to file for divorce. Because, we guess, Tom and the Scientologists had her regular phone tapped? So creepy and intriguing! So straight out of a movie starring either Katie Holmes or Tom Cruise!
What else did these two probably learn from TV and movies? Here are our wild speculations:
1. Radar says Tom duct-taped all the hallway security cameras in his Iceland hotel the last time Katie stayed there. We’re not sure who he thought would be watching them, but he probably should have taped photos that look exactly like the hallway instead. That’s what Ethan Hunt would have done.
2. Katie made sure to file in New York, where she could make the divorce public and wouldn’t have to follow the prenup — it’s just like how Sally Field wouldn’t fled Iran before letting her husband divorce her in Not Without My Daughter!
Holy Xenu, that was fast! Katie Holmes’ attorney just confirmed to People today that she and Tom Cruise have reached a settlement less than two weeks after Katie filed in New York. “The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life,” attorney Jonathan Wolfe said in a statement.
This has to be one of the quickest divorce settlements in the history of celebrity splits. And it’s making us miiiiighty suspicious. Last week, Holmes filed to make the divorce public, leading many to speculate that Cruise had some kind of secret he didn’t want to get out via court papers, which Holmes was in turn using as a bargaining chip. Was it a deep dark Scientology secret? Was he actually having an affair with David Beckham? Was he secretly lip-synching in Rock of Ages? The world may never know now. But the fact that they announced this settlement so quickly makes us feel we have free reign to believe all of the above. Just kidding! Journalism!
So many of the rumors about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise‘s divorce center on Scientology, we’re starting to suspect this is all part of Anonymous’ plot to take down the religion, or was that Paul Haggis’ plot? Whatever. We can’t pretend to understand L. Ron Hubbard’s teachings or the many mysteries surrounding the Church of Scientology (most of what we know, we learned from that South Park episode, really), but we can round up all of what we’ve heard and read in one convenient place. Enjoy!
- Some say Katie’s main reason for filing was to protect Suri from the Scientology practice of auditing — which is a method of questioning that helps the subject clear themselves of negative influences. We’re probably explaining this wrong, so find out all about it here. Katie herself didn’t seem all that comfortable with auditing, as she supposedly held back during questioning. Also, an ex-Scientologist says her parents were getting inside reports about what she said during the process. That’s extra, extra creepy.
- By the way, the Church is not opposed to divorce in and of itself, according to ABC News. They just prefer couples try therapy first. Fair enough.
- Speculation that Tom Cruise’s marriages are all a Scientology scheme to hide his sexuality are nothing new, so is that really the religion’s M.O.? ReligiousTolerance.org outlines Scientology’s stance on homosexuality. Basically Hubbard originally called being gay an illness (but that’s what all of psychology thought in the 1950s, too). But in the past two decades, some gay Scientologists have said that they are fully accepted by the religion. Hmmm, that’s not to say they wouldn’t want to help one of their most prominent members stay in the closet.
We’ll admit it: we were kind of stunned when we got wind of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ divorce. Celebrity marriages are supposed to last forever! They’re the most sacred of all marriages! But even though they might be ending their wedded bliss of five years, Tom and Katie have at least one good thing that came out of their relationship: a teeny tiny stylish pixie known as Suri Cruise. Between her adorable babyhood, sassy faces to the paparazzi and iconic Anna Wintour bangs, we thought it would be a darling homage to the Cruise-Holmes round up a bunch of squee-inducing family photos featuring the six-year-old. We’re going to be honest; the cuteness does feel a little bittersweet knowing the rents are splitting. But Suri will be okay, you guys! They’ll all be okay! We’ll all be okay! These photos of Suri being the best will definitely help!
[Photo: Splash News Online]