Today, April 18, is the birthday of two lovely ladies from very famous families: Suri Cruise (who turns 6) and Kourtney Kardashian (who’s 33). That fact made us realize that they have so much more in common than we originally thought. For one, they are both fiercely stylish, but can also be painfully cute. And they both manage the constant hounding of paparazzi with grace. Though the eldest Kardashian sister clearly seeks out the spotlight more than Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s daughter, we fully expect all those dance and gymnastic classes to inspire Suri to seek out the stage sometime soon. And just because it’s Wednesday and we’re feeling a little silly, we invite you to play a little game of “who wears it better” with these two.
Well, it’s surprising if you think of Cruise as this guy. But long before he was an action hero, scaling the tallest building in the world, he was the kid dancing in his underwear in Risky Business, and the cocky pilot serenading Kelly McGillis in a bar in Top Gun. Just a few different job choices and he could have been a modern day Gene Kelly, right? Well, OK, not quite. Even though that one wedding dance-off was impressive. Read more…
Put down the lawsuit, Tom Cruise, we’re not insulting your lovely wife Katie Holmes. We’re just talking about her latest acting role! Katie is celebrating Halloween this year with a guest spot on How I Met Your Mother, where she will play the mysterious “Slutty Pumpkin.” The woman clad in a scandalous jack-o-lantern outfit stole Ted’s heart at a Halloween party years ago, and he’s been trying to track her down ever since. But lucky for him, it looks like this is the year that he gets reunited with his beloved Slutty Pumpkin. It’s a Halloween miracle! “Katie is a lovely and talented actress,” show creator Craig Thomas told NY Magazine, “which is why we’ve saved for her perhaps the most classily named character in our show’s history.” We can’t wait til the episode airs when Halloween gets nearer.
And speaking of scary things, Katie’s daughter Suri Cruise reported to her first day of programming school last week. The five-year-old will be attending the New Village Leadership Academy, a Scientology-based school which uses L. Ron Hubbard’s “study technology” educational model. It’s apparently a free form kind of place, where students work at their own pace to complete tasks and teachers give individual attention to each child. Doesn’t sound bad, right? But god forbid if the kid yawns. Apparently ol’ L. Ron believed that yawning was a sign that a child misunderstood the concept. So load up on expresso, kids! And attending students are also encouraged to sculpt the concepts they’ve learned about in clay. According to L. Ron, children need access to “mass” or else they start to feel “sort of spinny” and “squashed.” If it were us, we’d sculpt ourselves a shiv and get the hell out of there. No, put that lawsuit back DOWN Tom Cruise! We’re just kidding!
We get that celebrity kiddies live in a far more rarefied atmosphere than we do. And their privileges are far more extended than ours ever were, but sometimes, certain things do cross the line. They’re just kids at the end of the day. Like Suri Cruise — who is five years old. We think Suri is adorable normally. We’ve looked at her high-heel wearing, Starbucks buying antics and smiled indulgently (because honestly, it ain’t our biznezz). But then we saw Suri traipsing around Manhattan over the weekend wearing berry red lipstick and were like — HOLD UP. Make-up at her age? Especially red lippie? It’s ridiculous! She’s such a beautiful child, but what up with making her look like a mini Blair Waldorf? Tell us you agree!
Suri Cruise has turned into quite the willful young lady. She knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to show just how displeased she is when she doesn’t get it. Here she is hitching a ride with her mom Katie Holmes while dad Tom Cruise ushers his ladies out of Il Cantinori in New York. Suri obviously finds something distasteful here. Is it the paparazzi? Was it the food? Whatever it is, it’s brought on a serious tantrum from La Cruise and it looks like Mom or Dad can’t do a thing about it. We’ve got a gallery below to show you just how much of a temper she’s got. Little Satyana Denisof this kid is not. Lighten up, Suri. Dinner with the ‘rents at a fancy restaurant really isn’t that bad.
If Katie Holmes’ Ellen interview set to air on Friday suggests anything, it’s that TheKennedys actress worries that we think she’s a bad mom based on photos of Suri holding Penis Gummies. “I thought if I say ‘Put that back,’ then she’s going to say ‘What is it?” and I didn’t really want to have that conversation,” Katie admitted thinking when her daughter grabbing the phallic snack in front of photographers at Serendipity 3. “Then it was on the cover of a magazine that I’m giving her those gummies. And I’m like, no.” We actually thought it made you seem kind of cool, Katie, but don’t worry. We know you wouldn’t buy your daughter such inappropriate sweets. We just thought you were hanging out with a 4-year-old at a place that sold genital-shaped gummies in the middle of the night. It’s nothing we wouldn’t do if we had kids!
Holmes even spells out the word p-e-n-i-s during the interview, in case…what, Suri set her DVR to record her mom gab about her adorably humiliating moment to the whole world? We already know what the candy looked like, woman! There’s no need to shield us from the truth. “Oh wow, those aren’t Swedish fish,” Holmes recalls thinking in embarrassment. “Even I know that,” Ellen joked. See, we bet Ellen would let her toddler eat whatever bizarro treat was available at the midnight candy shop. You know, like a cool mom would do.
The FABLife is playing March Celebrity Madness this month, putting 64 of our favorite stars into brackets and having you vote to decide our ultimate FAB icon. First we’ll be pitting four similar celebs against each other in the divisionals, with the winners pairing (and squaring) off in our Sweet 16 until only one is left standing. It’s just like the NCAA, except…ok, it’s nothing like the NCAA.
Yes, Suri Cruise, we know you’re a 4-year-old who gets to stay up really late, but you still made the cut for our Celebrity Baby poll, joining Gwen Stefani’s lil fashion assistant Kingston Rossdale, Halle Berry‘s darling daughter Nahla and Jessica Alba‘s precious playmate Honor Warren. All are adorable, but which one is your favorite?
Despite the hubbub over Suri’s midnight snack (and Penis Gummies photo-0p) less than 24 hours before, Katie Holmes trucked her 4-year-old off to see Wicked last night, keeping the pair out until near witching hour yet again. Suri looked happy romping around the Chelsea Piers earlier in the day, but she was (understandably) scowling at the paparazzi as they reached the theater, and looked totally pooped when leaving the show. Is Katie dragging Suri to these late night events or humoring her small child to a fault (this isn’t the first time they’ve seen Wicked)? Here’s hoping we don’t see her trudging the kid and her blanket to the pubs for St. Patty’s day!
The freaks come out at night, y’all. Katie Holmes‘ Tuesday seemed to be normal enough—having dinner with pal Jeanne Yang, hosting a trunk show for their Holmes & Yang fashion line—but things somehow got weirder when she got home around midnight. Instead of crashing, Holmes bounded back into the city with another friend…Suri! Still wearing her feather bolero and silk dress, Katie took Suri to the dessert shop Serendipity 3 for a late snack, sticking around long enough for a pap to get a shot of Suri holding a box of “Penis Gummies,” which the Daily Mail claims was purchased by someone in the group. Wait’ll Tom hears about this!
See photos of Katie’s late night quality time with her 4-year-old in the gallery below. Isn’t this how Gremlins are made?